Pretending
by M. Michelon
Summary: Her life had always been one big farce. A masquerade, to see who could put on the bravest face. She always won, too. Taken away from her only friend at fourteen, Spencer Kale returns to La Push to find him, the one person who she trusts. Only to find that so much has changed. Will Spencer be able to find life and love? Or will she spend forever pretending?
1. Preface

**Author's Note: Okay, here's the newest story from me. For those who are wondering, I ****_won't_**** be doing a Sam & Emily story. Of all the couples mentioned in the ****_Twilight Saga_****, they were my least favorite. I have manipulated their characters to suit my fancy (as is the liberty you get to take when you're the author). I am contemplating a Brady story, but haven't decided yet. It will depend on your guys' reaction to this. Please be aware that this story is dark! It's not as dark as some of the other things that I have written, but it's not all cute and happy. I hope you enjoy!**

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**Preface**

I was only five the first time that my mother asked to go for her. At least, that's the first time that I remember her asking me. "Those bad men over there, they'll take you from your mama," she'd told me, pointing to the men clad in their black uniforms. "That's all they want, sweetie. They want to take you away from me. You have to go to the nice man over there. You give him this money and he'll give you mama's medicine." My lips had shaken, but being a good little girl, I grabbed the flimsy bills in my grime covered hands and sprinted down the alley.

That was how it worked. Every few days, my mother and I would drive into Seattle. She would send me down one alley or another to get her medicine. Then we would speed home to our little shack in La Push. My mother's medicine always made her a little crazy. She would say silly things. It wasn't very long before she would fall asleep though. I never liked going to get her medicine, but I was young and my mama got really sick without it. At least, that's what I was told when I was young.

The first time that I met him, I was seven. His daddy was sick, too, but he used different kinds than my mother's. His dad's medicine came as little pills. After the second time that we'd met in the same alley, we started meeting outside before going in. He was always there to protect me. When I was nine, for example, one of the doctor's that we bought medicine from grabbed my arm. He'd told me that I was a good little girl, especially for taking care of my mama the way that I did. He told me that he could make me feel good, as a reward for being such a sweet girl. Even when I'd told him no, he'd pulled me back.

Collin told him to leave me alone and bit his arm when he wouldn't let me go. That's how we found out that our parents lived in the same town. The doctors took our parents medicines and told us that we had to get more money first. When I got back to Mama's car, she wanted me to show her the little boy that'd bit the doctor. I guess his dad wanted the same thing.

They got real close after that. They used to take turns driving us into the city to buy their medicines. We spent a lot of time together, Collin and I. We learned how to take care of ourselves with what little we had. Sometimes we would run back and forth through La Push, between houses to try and make good meals. People didn't pay much attention to us. We were just filthy little kids playing. We ate a lot of stuff that was hard to cook, but we learned quick. Collin was tall, much taller than me. He used to get down all the pots and pans. I learned some of the different words and how much to add of the different stuff shown on the pictures.

Of course, we could only use the stove if my mama wasn't using it to get her medicine ready. And if we had all the ingredients in the house. There was one time that Collin was trying to make me some food and got in Mama's way. She'd burned him. His dad told him that he shouldn't have been in her way. It wasn't polite to be in someone's way when you were a guest in there house. Sometimes it felt like the houses were more _ours_ than _theirs_ though. His dad spent a lot of time asleep, just like my mama.

We ate whatever was in the house until we were about ten. That was the first time that I remember Collin taking money from his dad. He snuck in the bedroom while his father was sleeping and stole twenty dollars out of his wallet. It was the first, and only, time that I'd had McDonald's. Collin bought us chicken nuggets, hamburgers, ice cream, everything on the menu that he could read. Then we went home.

His dad was really mad that we'd taken the money. Collin made me go home, though. He said that he'd stolen the money and it wasn't right that I got in trouble. That night, when Collin snuck over to my house to share my couch, since he didn't have a bed at home, I found out why he'd sent me away. He'd been bleeding from his head and another spot on his cheek. We knew better than to go to the hospitals. The men in the white jackets would send us to go live in homes with bad children who disobeyed their parents too.

We got sneaky about stealing money from our parents after that. By the time that we were thirteen, we'd learned that our parents weren't taking medicine. They were doing drugs. But by that time, we were so used to the routine that it didn't really matter. We avoided the police and the _real_ doctors. We learned to barter to get the best prices for whatever we were buying. Then we'd pocket the change and be able to buy food for the next few days.

Collin was always good at protecting me. The older I got, the more the dealers noticed. When you were thirteen and as naive as I was, it didn't make sense. Looking back now, I realize what they were offering me al those times. Sometimes I wonder what would have become of me if I hadn't had him there.

We found out real soon though.

A few weeks after the start of high school, I woke up and dressed just like always. The only clothes that I had were the ones that were now too small for Collin. Teachers stopped trying to talk to my mother. Every time that they made appointments to meet with her, she didn't show up. There was never enough reason to call the police. Not that it would have mattered if they had; I had an irrational fear of them. My mother had always told me that they were evil. And while my mother wasn't very good at much, I couldn't leave her alone.

"Mama, I'm leaving for school," I shouted. Even when she was "tired" after her medicine, my shout would usually elicit some response from her. She didn't say anything; she didn't even give a snore. "Mama?" I called out again. Still nothing. I dropped my backpack on the ground by the couch that served as my bed and rushed to the back room. "Mama?" I shook her shoulder lightly. She said nothing, her dark hair covering her face. "Mama!" I screamed now, shaking her with more vigor. I tried again and again, calling out her name, begging her to wake up while tears ran down my face.

"Spencer, are you ready to go?" Collin's voice called from the front room. I couldn't answer him. My mother was dead. They would take me now. I couldn't just let her body sit in this room until it rotted. "Spence?" I heard him utter a curse as his knee hit something on the way to the back bedroom. The boy was always growing and never seemed to be able to get a grip on his gangly limbs. When he realized what happened, he'd only called the police and held me close.

The night before they were to take me away, Collin broke into the hotel that I was staying in with a nice lady that dressed in black. She didn't know that Collin came to see me every night, or that he stayed most of the night with me. It would have to end soon. They were taking me somewhere across the country, to some city that I'd never even heard of. "You'll have a good life there," the lady had promised me. But I wouldn't. Not without Collin.

How did you say goodbye to the only good thing in your life? What would happen to him when I wasn't there? His father would only continue to hit him. Collin had no where to go if I wasn't there. When his dad's "medicine" made him crazy, Collin came to my house. My mom's drugs only ever made her sleepy. It was a safe place to go. "You can't cry, Spence," he whispered when the sunlight was just starting to come over the tree line.

"I don't want to leave you, Collin," I muttered against his shirt.

"I don't want you to leave." We sat there in silence for a little while. "I have an idea. Let's run away. No one will even know that we're gone."

"Brady would notice if you're gone," I reminded him.

"Brady's a rich boy; he's got plenty of friends."

"You're his _best_ friend, Collin."

"No; I'm _your_ best friend." His arms tightened around me. "Here. Put this on." He slipped the woven leather off his wrist and over mine, but it flopped off the second I let my arm fall. "You're too skinny, Spencer," he muttered as he managed to slide the thing over my gnarled, calloused feet and onto my ankle. It was the last thing that he had of his mother's. I remembered the story. She gave it to him before she went to get his dad some medicine when he was six. She never came back. "I love you Spencer."

My heart wrenched. I wanted him to mean it like I did. I'd known that I'd been in love with him for ages. He was the only person that I truly trusted. "I love you too, Collin," I replied. It was better to pretend that I meant it the way he did than not to say it to him at all. Because that was all my life had ever been: a game of pretending.


	2. Chapter I

**Author's Note: Okay, here's the official first chapter. Any characters that you don't recognize are from my other stories. If you are interested in reading, I would suggest seeing my profile for the links. I am a slow writer and really like for stories to develop, so prepare yourself for a long haul here. Other than that, please review and let me know what you think. This story takes place five years after the end of ****_Breaking Dawn_****. Enjoy!**

**_Five Years Later_**

**Chapter I**

"Spencer!" Collin shouted. The cold man took a step closer to him, his breath steaming as he took a step closer to the boy that I loved most. "Spencer, save me!" I tried to jerk forward, but my arms were bound tight behind my back. "Spencer please!" But it wasn't his voice anymore. It was my mother's. "Why did you let me take that medicine?" Collin begged in her voice. I fought and struggled against chains that seemed to weigh a million pounds. "You let me die, Spencer. Why?" I was sobbing, my body shaking uncontrollably. "Spence!"

I jolted awake, narrowly avoiding hitting my head on the roof of my car. I raked my fingers through my hair and breathed heavily, wishing the dream would stop. For five years now, I was tortured with the fantasy. Collin died every time and my mother inevitably blamed me for not being able to protect her. I was only grateful that the dream hadn't gotten that far this time. The back of my Bronco now smelled like sweat, the odor probably permeating the entire vehicle now. I was only an hour away from being back, from being safe. Collin had always kept me safe. He would do it again this time.

I looked down at the leather band on my ankle. I never had taken it off. Despite having gotten to a better home where I was fed more regularly, I never did gain any weight, so it still hung loosely around my bones. "What am I going to do?" I asked the silence. I needed Collin to protect me. I had helped the police, done the very thing that my mother told me not to do. I rocked back and forth quickly, trying to figure out what to do. My plan had been to come and beg Collin for a place to stay, for some food.

That, of course, all depended on whether or not he was still there. Collin had always wanted to leave. He'd wanted to get away from his father. He was nineteen now, same as me. He'd probably graduated high school and walked away. But _if_ he was still there, the question remained: could I put his life in danger to save mine? No. Yes. I didn't know. Collin had always been the person that I could count on, but was it right to count on him in this case? "What am I going to do?" I asked myself again.

Stiffly, sore from the bruises on my ribs and shoulders, I moved from the backseat of the car to the front. It had been a long drive, especially with my desire to get to La Push as fast as I could. When the Child Protective Services had taken me from La Push to be with an uncle that I didn't know, I'd ended up in some small town in Oklahoma. I went from a hot, humid beach front, to the wind, bare plains of the Midwest. I wonder if they knew where they were placing me. My uncle was supposed to be so much better than my mother, so much better than staying in La Push with Collin, like we'd wanted.

Instead, I'd ended up living with someone who _was_ a drug dealer. I didn't need to go into the cities and down the dark alleys. The man that I lived with made it and sold it right from our home. Though there were upsides. We never lacked food in the house, though Uncle Tom said that we had to live within our means. Unfortunately, that meant that he got whatever he wanted and I had to wait to get things. We were, after all, supposed to be the family that ran the local gas station. But the police...

They offered me money and safety that they could never provide for betraying the only family that I had left. Money that I never got and safety that they... Well, that would be why I would have to go back to Collin. If he was still there. Please, God, let him still be there.

I drove without the radio on, listening for any sounds that might be off. I checked my mirrors more than necessary, afraid that I would look back and find the headlights of the station wagon glaring at me. I felt like a rabbit, poised and on edge. He wouldn't find me all the way in eastern Washington state. He just couldn't.

The sense of safety that I'd been longing to feel didn't come when I crossed the line onto La Push Native American Reservation. No; if anything, I felt more desperate to find Collin. He would no what to do. He would know how to protect me. But I didn't know how to get to his house, not from the main roads. My childhood had consisted of traipsing around the forest between Collin's house and my shack. A shack that I wouldn't even know how to find from the road if someone paid me. I slept the drive home from the city every time. It was the easiest way to deal with the fears.

I tried for another hour or two to find anything that would remind of how to get to Collin's, but I couldn't. Finally, I just gave up and pulled over to the side of the road. In the forest, on my own two feet, I could get anywhere. My leg felt stiff, but the fear of being pursued pushed me onward. If he found me, I would die. If he found Collin, we would both die. The thought of my dreams coming to reality sent shivers down my spine. I would stay here for a time, just long enough for Uncle Tom to forget about me and my betrayal. Then I could go again. That would work.

I limped through the forest, the stinging in my leg getting more and more intense as moments grew longer and longer. Finally, _finally_, the house came into view. "Collin?" I called out from the tree trunk that we used to meet at when we were kids. Back when he would tell me whether or not it was safe to come into the house. Now the question was whether or not it was safe for me to stay outside. "Collin?"

"Where's the bastard?" a dark voice shouted back at me. "Doesn't even come home to see his father anymore. Lazy, no count, good for nothing," he began. "I know you're out there!" He grabbed hold of my arm and hauled. I cried out when his fingers grazed the spot on my arm that might still have glass embedded in it. "The Kale bitch," he said when he realized who I was. "Should've known it was you creeping around in the dark out here." He began swaying like a drunk. I had met my fair share of those in the past five years, though, and I knew how to deal with them.

"Mr. Littlesea, let's get you in your room," I suggested.

"Your much prettier than your mother was," he laughed. I ignored the comment, as I'd learned how to do with Uncle Tom, and waited until he was far enough away to bolt. Collin was still here in La Push. I just didn't know where. Maybe over at Brady's house. They had been friends back when I was leaving. I doubt that Brady knew about the lives that we led outside of school, but he was nice enough to us. If Collin was still here, he might be with Brady.

"Collin!" I shouted as I hobbled towards the richer side of La Push. "Col, it's Spencer!" I screamed into the darkness. Night was coming fast, but I couldn't sleep. I couldn't do another year without my best friend; without the guy I loved. "Collin!"

A wolf leapt out of the trees and slammed to a stop in front of me. I couldn't help the yelp that escaped my mouth. I sank down to the ground, feeling the blood ooze down my thigh as I did. If Tom's damned house hadn't exploded, I would be fine. But here I was in the middle of the forest, bleeding in front of the largest wolf that I had ever seen. I was like a gift wrapped steak set out in front of the beast. At least with me dead this way, there would be no chance of Collin getting hurt. I just didn't want Tom to be the one to get me. If I was going to die, I wanted it to be by my own choosing. Not because I hadn't listened to my mother's warnings.

My blood roared in my ears. My vision blurred and ended up having sports when it finally cleared again. "Collin," I moaned. I just wanted to see him. Just one last time. The wolf took a hesitant step towards me. I tried to shrink back, but the fear of the beast had overridden the adrenaline that running had caused. The pain was no longer something that could be ignored. "Please, don't," I begged the animal. "Please."


	3. Chapter II

**Author's Note: I hope you're all enjoying this. Read, review, PM, or whatever you feel like. Love & Thanks!**

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**Chapter II:****_ Collin's Point of View_**

"Collin." I had to get to her. She was going to die. "Collin." She couldn't die. She was my best friend. "Collin." But the vampire was getting closer to her and there was nothing I could do to stop it. "Collin!" I was only a leap and a bound away. I lunged, knowing that I could grab her arm and pull her to safety. "Collin!"

I was jarred out of my dream. Hannah had her hand on my shoulder still, her other hand now resting between my shoulder blades. My girlfriend pressed her lips against my shoulder. "They've been getting worse," she whispered, chaffing my arm in an attempt to comfort me. "Are you okay?" I nodded, thinking that I was lucky to have someone here with me. Hannah wasn't my soulmate; I knew that well in my heart. While she didn't know about wolves and vampires and imprints, she was better than having no one here for me. It was better to have her than it was to be alone.

Which is not to say that Hannah wasn't great. She was, in her own regard. But I was surrounded by wolves that had found their one and only. Even Seth had now found the person that he was meant to be with. I watched the Spirits work between these people, watched families form before my eyes. And I knew I didn't have that connection with the girl that was currently sharing my bed. "I'm fine," I replied. "Just a bad dream is all." I usually dreamed about vampires coming after my friends and family. It never made for a good night's sleep. The dreams where the fucking leeches came after Spencer, though...those were the worst.

It made sense that I would be dreaming of her, though. Today was the same day she'd left five years ago. I looked over at the clock. It was late, but not so late that I could send someone home from patrol and run for a little bit. That was the only way to stop the restlessness. I wouldn't be able to sleep again until I was sure that there were no vampires in my town. "I have to get to work," I muttered, swinging my legs over the side of the bed.

"I thought you said that you were off tonight," Hannah complained.

"Yeah, I got my, uh, my days mixed up. I have to go before they start calling me," I replied. I leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I'll see you in a little." I pulled the basketball shorts up my legs and strode outside. Barely outside of Hannah's visibility from the window, I phased and started running the borders. _Quil, wake up,_ I called to my Pack brother's head. Things had been so calm in La Push lately. Our patrols just became nap time. _Quil!_

_What?_ he groaned in response. _Why are you running? You asked for the night off. Hannah had something special planned._ He made some vomiting noise in my head and rolled his eyes. The guys were never rude to my girlfriend, Brady's either, but it was a well-known fact that they weren't found of the girls. Being with the Pack is the only time we Warriors had where we weren't lying about everything. When our girlfriends were around, it was just another time to hide ourselves.

_You're just jealous because your imprint's idea of a special night is watching Hannah Montana,_ I retorted.

_She's ten, not four. And Hannah Montana isn't even on T.V. anymore. We watch Good Luck Charlie._ I couldn't help but laugh at that. _You need your sleep, man. Go run and do your check and then lay down and sleep for a little while. _I agreed, albeit begrudgingly. One of the things I hated most about being a wolf was the Pack mind. I couldn't hide from my brothers like I hid from everyone else. The only other person who knew all of those things about me was Spencer. _Go to sleep!_ Quil shouted in my head. _Or go and find her. But damn, I'm sick to death of hearing about her in your thoughts._

_Then butt the fuck out, _I called back. I ran the border of the tribal lands and decided that there was nothing there for me to fear. And as much as I didn't want to admit it, I had to say that Quil was right about me needing my sleep. Spencer had been haunting me for years now, but it had gotten worse in the last few weeks. It seemed that the closer I got to Hannah, the more I was plagued with memories of my best friend. I could see her boney body, her full lips, her almond eyes, her high cheekbones. I could still remember the fear I'd felt when I'd heard her screaming from her mother's bedroom. I could feel her in my arms the last night that I got to see her. I could see her, feel her, hear her, but she wasn't real.

_You know what I think about that, _Brady called in my head. _Quil, you're off. I'll take over._

_Night, _Quil replied.

_I didn't realize you were patrolling tonight, _I muttered. Brady and I were best friends, although nothing compared to what I had with Spencer. Because of the Pack mind, all the guys knew about Spencer and understood my relationship with her, Brady was the only one who actually remembered her. He remembered those few months of high school, the weeks that he got to see the two of us together, taking care of one another.

_You should go find her, _Brady said quietly. _I'm sure she misses you, too._

_She's nineteen, just like I am. She could come back if she wanted to._

_Unless something was wrong._

I growled and sprang to my feet. _Why do you have to go there? _I snarled. _You know I don't want to think about her getting hurt._

_You don't want to _**_think_**_ about it. And you're forgetting, Col, you're nineteen, too. You could go and find her. _

_I'm not starting this argument with her._

_Why are you so afraid of it? So what if you imprint on her?_

_She's not my imprint._

_You wouldn't know. You won't go find her._

_Guys,_ Quil interrupted.

_I thought you were off, _I replied. Something had to be wrong if Quil was still phased. _Don't you have a tea party to set up for?_

_Will you quit being an ass because you don't have an imprint? _he snapped. _I was running home and I heard someone calling your name. Naturally, I was curious as to why someone would be trying to find your ugly ass. _

_Naturally,_ Brady agreed.

_I've never seen her before, but I recognized her from your memories, Col. I brought her to Sue and Charlie's. She was pretty beat up._

_Who? _An image of Spencer lying in the dirt dropped into my sight. It wasn't one of my memories, but Quil's. A recent one of Quil's. _Where is she? _I snarled. Through the link I could smell her blood, lots of it. She was hurt. I was being an ass, just as Brady had said. _Where, Quil?_

_I told you, I took her to Charlie and Sue's. She was screaming for you when I left and trying to get out._

I turned towards Forks, heading towards Sheriff Swan's house. What had happened to her? CPS had taken her from me and never given me an address to write to her. Not that I would have been able to afford stamps anyways, but the idea was what mattered. I neared the house, realizing that I could smell the sweet cinnamon of her. She smelled like Christmas, like cinnamon and spices and... and copper. Blood; that's what that was. I phased out and pulled my shorts over my hips, marching to the front door without hesitation.

Charlie and Sue both knew about the wolves and had opened their house to us. It was most helpful when we were hurt, what with Sue being a nurse. Well, retired, but she was still able to help us. "Sweetie, I'm not going to hurt you. The injection will just make it easier for me to take care of your injuries," Sue was saying.

"No, please. I'm fine, really." It was Spencer. If there had been any doubt in my mind it was gone now that I had heard her voice.

"Spence," I called into the house. "Sue, I'm walking in."

"Sweetheart, no one is going to hurt you," Sue repeated.

"I'm fine, really. Please, just let me go. My car is just down the road." There was fear rolling off of her. I walked through the front door and into the living room. Spencer was standing against a far wall, her hands held out in front of her like she was trying to ward off danger. "Please; I didn't mean to come here. I was just looking for my friend. I'm sorry."

"You haven't done anything wrong," Sue was trying to say, a syringe held in her hand. Spencer's entire body was battered, areas that were normally brown skinned were no black and blue and purple. There was blood trickling down from her temple, more oozing from somewhere in her thigh. Glass was embedded in various wounds. She looked like someone had been beaten the shit out of her and then thrown her through the window of a car. "Spencer," I breathed. What had they put her through?

"Collin!"


	4. Chapter III

**Author's Note: Thanks for all the support. I hope you all enjoy this chapter! Love & Thanks!**

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**Chapter III**

My eyes slid closed with gratitude. He was here. His hands were practically burning as he laid them gently on my shoulders. "What happened to you Spencer?" he asked. I just shook my head and rested my weight on him. "Don't worry, Spence. I'm going to take care of you, okay?" I nodded again, biting back the hiss and groan that threatened when he swept me up into his arms. "You trust me, right, Spence?" I nodded again, feeling too tired to want to move anymore. Now that I knew I had found Collin, I could rest a little. I felt him shift around a little, arranging me neatly on his lap. "Sue isn't one of those doctors. She isn't going to take you from me, okay? She's just going to make you feel better."

"No," I moaned. "Not the needles, Collin." He knew what they did to my mother. I would never let myself get stuck by one of those things. Even now, as a nineteen-year-old, knowing what I knew about drugs and my mother, I couldn't bring myself to get a shot. Another one of those irrational fears. "You know that I don't like them."

"I know, but this isn't like those ones. I promise." I trusted him with everything... And I supposed that I would have to trust him with this as well. "Sue," he called out quietly. The woman's ironlike grip found my arm. Or maybe it wasn't that she was strong, but simply that I was weaker than I had imagined. He pulled me tight to his chest and let her stick the needle into my arm. Ice crept up my veins, slow and steady. It was pulling me down, like each inch that it conquered was another hundred pounds added to me. "It's okay, Spence. It's okay to go to sleep. So long as you promise me that you'll wake up."

I would; I would have to. I had to warn him about Uncle Tom and his friends. I tried to nod but my head seemed to weigh a thousand pounds. It wouldn't move, even when I wanted it to. So I let it flop like a dead fish against his shoulder. I could feel the pull and sting of something at my shoulder. "Got to sleep, Spencer. I've got you." I let the ice keep creeping up my veins, hearing the occasional word or name, until finally, I had only my dreams left.

I came awake slowly, my head fogged over like the bay in the early morning. Yet, I noticed that I felt more comfortable than I could remember being in ages. The warmth surrounding me was soft, familiar, an impression left on my mind. I felt stiff, like I had been lying still for far too long. My limbs still felt heavy, like I couldn't quite move them. Behind me, I heard a quick gasp for air before everything started shifting. "Carlisle," the voice called. "She's awake again." I didn't hear anyone move, but all of the sudden a frozen hand touched down on me. I jumped involuntarily and groaned. An animalistic growl sounded behind me. "It's okay, Spencer. Carlisle is a friend. He's going to help you." Collin brushed his fingers over my shoulder. "Can you open your eyes?"

"No," I replied. He chuckled, the vibrations going straight through my arm and into my chest.

"Don't you be lazy, Spencer Kale," he chastised like he had when I was a little girl. "Open your eyes so I can make sure you're still alive."

"I'm t-t-talking, aren't I?"

"It would seem to me that miss Kale is in fine health," a voice I didn't recognize said, laughter coloring the tone. "I would like to check the dressings just another time, if you will Collin." I was lifted and shifted around, warm hands never once leaving me. The feeling was slowly coming back to my limbs, though I couldn't say how long I had been asleep. "Very good," the man continued. "Sue will have to check the wounds in a few days, but I think she'll recover well enough."

"Thank you, Carlisle."

"My pleasure. Just be sure to bring her to Sue in a few days." I didn't want to open my eyes, to have my wonderful dream shattered. Here, where Collin was holding me tight and I didn't hurt nearly as much as I did in reality. Here, where I could pretend to be safe for a few days.

There was the click of a door shutting and then silence in the room. I could hear deep breaths being taken behind me and realized where I must be. I wasn't lying in a soft bed, like I would have liked. But I must be wrapped in Collin's arms, sitting on his lap like an infant. It couldn't have been long that I was sleeping, then. Collin surely wouldn't have let me sit there for too long. "Come on, Spencer. I haven't seen you in five years." He sighed heavily, in the way that he used to when he was waiting for me to do as he asked.

The man that I appeared when I opened my eyes barely looked like the gangly fourteen-year-old Collin that I remembered. There were remnants of the boy I knew, in his eyes, in the worried lines about his mouth, in the taut line of his lips. But the nineteen-year-old who sat before me was no boy. Collin was taller, broader, more muscled. He looked too old for his age, but he had certainly grown into those limbs of his. I looked up at him, my brown eyes meeting his. I had always been surprised at how warm his eyes were. Regardless of what was going on around us with our families, with our friends, with the messes that were our lives, Collin's eyes were always warm.

At the moment, they were looking at me like I was the finest china doll that he had ever seen. The hands that had just been supporting me were now _holding_ me, pressing me tight to his body. His eyes made a a wary sweep of my body, as if he was indeed checking to make sure that I was here. Slowly but surely, he made his way back to my face, adoration that I had always felt for him, but never seen, reflected in those milk chocolate orbs. "Brady was right," he muttered. It was hardly what a girl wants to hear after being separated from the man she loved for five years. I must have pulled a face, though, because Collin was quick to add, "I should have gone after you the second that I turned eighteen."

Tentatively, feeling the pull in some stitches I must have in my shoulder, I reached up and placed a hand on his beloved face. He was older, less haggard, and somehow more vibrant, but he was _my_ Collin and he was real. The thought alone was enough to make me want to weep. "What did they do to you?" he asked, but the tone said that the question was rhetorical. "I never should have let them take you away."

"Collin?" The feminine voice shattered my happiness. The blonde stepped in from another room that I had never seen, but as I looked around, it dawned on me that I had been moved. When Collin had gotten there, the room I had been standing in was white walled with green carpeting that looked like it was vacuumed at least everyday. This one was still white walled, but the carpets were a dingy brown. The couch that we were sitting on had one of those covers over it, like that would somehow distract one's eye from the stains on the carpet.

"Hannah." Collin stood, surprise coloring his voice and his arms wrapped tight around me. "I'll be with you in just a second," he said in a tone that was slightly dismissive.

"Collin, who is she?" the girl demanded. Her blue eyes were angry and hooded, as if she was afraid of what the answer would be.

"Collin, I can leave," I said, trying to put myself on the ground. I had forgotten that he would have a life, that everything would have changed for him. Somehow I thought that I would still find him at his father's house, sneaking into the city every couple of days to buy drugs for his dad. But the blonde standing before me, shooting daggers at me with her eyes, made it perfectly clear that things had changed. My Collin wasn't mine anymore.

"It's fine, Spence," he said. "Hannah, let me get her upstairs and then I'll talk to you."

"Spencer?" she demanded. She said my name with some contempt, like she had heard it a million times. "I thought Spencer was a boy!" Collin completely ignored her, which I thought probably wasn't the smartest idea when he clearly had some relationship with the girl. "Are you putting her before me?" she demanded.

"Hannah, I told you that you and I would talk. But this is my best friend and she's hurt. At the moment, she needs me more than you. Now if you'll excuse me." He marched up the stairs without a backwards glance.


	5. Chapter IV

**Author's Note: I know that it's been a few days since I posted. For future reference, any time that I'm not updating (especially for longer than just a day), please see my profile. The first section up there is my Important Announcements section. It will tell you when the next update will be and what's going on. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter IV**

"Should you have done that?" I asked, feeling the energy was draining out of me.

"Done what?" He was staring at me again, seeming completely oblivious to the fact that the girl downstairs was likely to be livid with him. I would be, had I ever had a boyfriend, expected my boyfriend to answer my question. Especially if I had walked in and found a girl nestled in his lap, curled against him in a way that was all too familiar. "You're talking about Hannah?" I nodded, thinking that he had to be one of the most clueless human beings on the planet. He shrugged, the motion stinging a little. Gently, he laid me down on a bed. The cushioning was warm, soft, smooth. I was surprised, since we had clearly been on the couch, that it seemed to hold some body warmth to it. "I'll deal with Hannah after I get you all settled, just like I told her I would."

I wanted to ask him who she was, which was stupid because it was clear that she was his girlfriend. I suppose I just didn't want to believe that she was something important to him. I could feel my sleepiness seeping in though. "I hope the sheets aren't cold," he said, settling down beside me. "I asked Brady to put them in the dryer before he made up the bed."

"I've never had a bed with sheets on it before," I muttered. A dark frown crossed over his face, marring his features and making him far less friendly than he had been. "Or one that had pillows," I added when I felt recognized the downy softness surrounding me. I sighed heavily and leaned over to kiss my cheek.

"We'll talk about that a little later, Spencer. Get some sleep. You need to heal up," he muttered. He stood then, but his hand lingered on my hair. I got the distinct impression that he didn't want to let me go, that he didn't want anything to happen to me. Not that he ever had before, of course, but it was more that he seemed to be possessive than before. "I'll be just outside, Spence. I'm not going far. If you need me, you just give a holler." I nodded and rolled as much as the stinging would allow me to.

It felt like ages later that the voices outside my door finally punctured through the darkness. "You put her in my bed, Collin!" the feminine voice shrieked. "You want to tell me that she's your best friend, nothing more, and you put her in _my_ bed!"  
"Hannah, you're being ridiculous," Colin's voice said. "I've never known you to be the jealous kind."

"For a year, Collin, a _year_, you let me believe that Spencer was a boy. I thought you were dreaming about your brother or something. And now you just bring this girl in the house and put her in _my_ bed!" she screamed again.

"It's _my_ bed, Hannah. This is _my_ house. I didn't expect you to act this way. What is wrong with you?" he demanded.

"What is wrong with me?" she echoed. "You brought a girl to the house and put her in our bed like it was no big deal."

"It _is_ no big deal, Hannah. I'm not dating Spencer," he retorted, though he didn't sound completely sure to my ears. "And if you keep up your shouting, you're going to wake her up. She's been through hell and back, Hannah. Have a little respect."

"Respect? Respect is not inviting a girl into your girlfriend's side of the bed!"

"Hannah, if you're going to be over the top, you're going to have to leave. I have a friend that needs me and at the moment, she needs me more than you do," Collin said. I flinched, though it wasn't from any pain. The boy was going to end up in more trouble than I was worth if he wasn't careful. There was no movement made, at least none that I could hear. I did hear the click of the door as it was shoved open, but no light flooded in from the hallway. "I'm serious, Hannah. Get out of the house. When you've figured out what your issues is and can talk to me without screaming, give me a call."

"Are you kidding me?" she shouted at him.

"Hey Collin, I'm home. I brought some food," a male voice called.

"Brady, can you show Hannah to the door?"

"She's here every day, I'm pretty sure she knows where the door is," Brady called back with a laugh.

"Now, Brady." Brady must have heard the danger lurking in Collin's voice because the next thing that I heard was the sound of footsteps on the staircase. Finally, the light flooded in from the hall. "Spencer, I know that you're awake," he called quietly. "Would you mind if I came in?"

"No," I called quietly.

The door opened wider and steps thudded as Collin made his way to my side. The bed shifted as he took his spot beside me. "You look terrible," he moaned. "I should have been there to protect you. I should have been there to keep this from happening."

"You don't even know what happened," I whispered in response. I was rolled on my side, facing his hip and thigh. "It wasn't all that bad," I added. It was a desperate lie, but one that I was willing to give if that meant that he would stop blaming himself.

"It couldn't have been all that good either. Not with the amount of blood you were losing," he replied. He laid down on the bed beside me, his knees lightly knocking into mine. His hand hesitated as he reached over to rest his palm in the dip of my waist. My arms were folded up in the few inches between us, my face almost touching his chest. "You look better than you did earlier," he announced, his thumb brushing along my ribcage. "What happened to you, Spencer?"

"You don't want to hear about it right now, Collin. Your girlfriend is mad at you because of me," I muttered. I wasn't worth it. Collin had a good thing going, that much was clear to me. I hadn't meant to ruin it. "I'm sorry about that, Collin," I added.

"About Hannah? You have nothing to be sorry for, Spence. Hannah is overreacting."

"You did put another girl in her bed. I suppose any girl would be mad about that."

"It's my bed and if Hannah has a problem with that, then I'll just have to deal with it." I furrowed my brows in confusion. "Leave Hannah to me. You focus on getting better."

"I'm fine, Collin. I've had worse." He groaned and slipped his hand from my side to my back. He pulled me forward ever so slowly, making sure that I wasn't in pain as he hauled me closer.

"That was the last thing that I wanted to hear," he said quietly. "I can't imagine you having much worse than this."

"It's not a big deal, Collin. They always made sure that I didn't die," I said, surprised to find myself lying on his chest. He was shaking and trembling, his arms quivering at a speed that I couldn't quite catch.

"I think that you should just refrain from talking about your death," he said, though the words sounded like they were gritted through his teeth. "Please."

"I didn't die, Collin. I'm okay, see?" My words didn't seem to calm him any, though. He wrapped his arms tight around me, but it was gentle enough that nothing hurt. "You're being silly."

"I should have been there to protect you," he said, still beating himself up. "I should have at least come after you when I turned eighteen. That's when I stopped living with my dad, you know."

"I saw him tonight," I said. "I went to your house first, but he said that you weren't there." Not in so many words, of course, but in enough words that Collin would get upset again.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" I shook my head. "Good." He nodded slightly, like he was talking more to himself than to me. "I didn't think you would be coming back, Spencer."

"I didn't mean to interrupt your life, Collin. I guess I was being stupid. I hadn't thought that so much would have changed," I admitted. "I'll leave in the... I would say that I'll leave in the morning, but I don't know what time of the day it is. I'll leave after I get a little bit of sleep, if that's okay."

"You're not going anywhere," he growled fiercely. I shrank away as much as I could, but he held me tight. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you. I don't want you to leave, Spencer. I don't know what would happen to me if you left again. God, I should have come after you. I never should have let them take you away. I mean, God, look what happened to you." His fingers brushed over my cheekbones, where there were some stitches laced through. He trailed down from the stitches there to the bandage on my neck, over the lines of sewing on my shoulder and back up to my cheek. "What happened, Spencer?"


	6. Chapter V

**Author's Note: I'm glad that everyone seems to be enjoying this story. This is just a brief explanation of what happened. You'll find out more as the story goes on. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter V:****_ Collin's Point of View_**

She looked like someone had sent her through a meat grinder. Her body was littered with little black lines where the stitches were holding together the skin. Carlisle had promised me that there would be almost no scarring, so long as she didn't try to pull the threads from her wounds too early. It was almost painful to look at her, especially knowing that she was the other part of me that I had been missing for so long. Her face went pale when I asked her to tell me what happened. Part of me told her that I should keep my mouth shut, not push her, and let her sleep.

But I needed desperately to know what had happened to her. "Please tell me," I begged her after she'd been silent for a few minutes. I wish that I had been there to save her from this pain, to keep her from whatever had happened to her. I rubbed my thumb over the bumpy stitching again, a reminder of how much she'd gone through. "Please; I want to know what happened to you after you left here, Spencer." She nuzzled her face into my shoulder.

"They sent me to live in Oklahoma, with my mom's uncle," she began quietly. "At first, it was great. He was nice enough, definitely nicer than living with my mom. The hardest part was missing you. I didn't have friends out there. Most of the people that lived there were farmers, small town kids that had never seen a beach, let alone played on it every day of their lives." I smiled at her, brushing the strand of hair from her eyes. How had I ever noticed how beautiful her almond shaped eyes were? "Then it wasn't as easy.

"I still didn't have friends when I found out how Uncle Tom paid his bills. See, I didn't see him working...ever. He didn't have a job and he didn't have a farm, so I didn't know exactly how we kept everything paid for. He was making meth, Collin. He made it in his kitchen and sold it to the people around." They took her from a woman who merely used her to buy drugs and put her with the man making them? "At least, that's what I think. I only know that he was making the drugs in the house. I never found out what happened with them after that." How did she get to be like this then?

Her eyes were drifting shut, then. Her exhaustion was starting to show on her face, but I knew her well enough to know that this was my only chance to get the full story. When she wasn't tired and healing, she would only be hiding from me. She knew that I would blame myself for her pain. I couldn't let her lie to me about this. "Spencer," I said, giving her a little nudge. "How did you get here? What happened to you?" I asked her then.

"The police asked me for help," she muttered, her eyes coming open again. It must have been whatever medication Carlisle had given her that was making her sleep so much. "I knew that it was stupid, especially since they would just take me away again, but I _wanted_ to be away from there. You know?" I nodded, feeling guiltier than ever. She'd wanted to leave and I hadn't been there to get her. Ever since we had first met, ever since I realized that there was someone else in this world with my upbringing, I had made it my job to protect her and be there for her. We both needed someone.

"Uncle Tom found out that I had gone to the cops. Or at least, that's what I think he'd said," she continued, her eyes closed. I pushed myself upright, feeling like I wasn't even worth enough to hold her. Her head fell into my lap and she seemed perfectly content to leave it there. I could remember a time when we had been in the same position, some ten years ago now, driving home from Seattle. I brushed my fingers through her hair, feeling it's silky texture slide between my calluses. "He got angry is all. And then, while he was distracted by, uh, well by me, something happened on the stove. It exploded, everything that we had, gone," she muttered. "While he was trying to figure out how to save his stuff, I took the car and ran. There was a map in the glovebox. I knew I could get home from Seattle. I just had to get from Oklahoma to Seattle," she explained. "So I drove and drove. I only stopped long enough to sleep for a few hours."

"Speaking of sleep," I breathed, brushing my hand over her hair again. "You should get some more of that."

"I'm tired of sleeping," she grumbled, but her lids were growing heavy again.

"I can see that," I laughed. She nestled her face more comfortably on my thigh. "Goodnight, Spencer," I murmured. "Sleep tight. Have sweet dreams. I'll still be here in the morning." Her lips twitched in barely a smile, which had me grinning. It was the same send off that I would say every night before she fell asleep. I listened to her breathing slow, her heart rate dropping even more. Finally she was asleep, her whole body slack against me. "I imprint on you, Spencer Kale," I told her prone form. "I don't know what to do with you. You deserve someone better than me, someone who can give you a house and a family away from any kind of drugs. You should be with someone who doesn't even know what that's like," I continued.

She tucked her knees up tighter to her chest, her hand coming rest on my thigh as well. Her wrist pinned between us rested happily in her brace, where it was supposed to stay for a few weeks. I would be damned if she took it out of that thing. "After they took you, things got a little better for me. I phased for the first time. Yeah," I snorted, puffing air across her cheeks. "I was sitting in homeroom a few months after you left and someone mentioned that you were gone. Everyone knew that you had transferred to a different school, that your mother had died, that CPS had taken you. Still, one of the Redtree brothers said something about you going off and becoming a junkie, becoming a whore." I growled, even as the memory of it hit me. "Thank God I was in a class with Embry Call. He dragged me outside.

"We would have never guessed that _I_ was a descendant of Taha Aki, especially since my dad didn't know who his was. But I guess that I am. That's the only way that I could have phased." She didn't move, didn't make a sound. At least the drugs were giving her a restful sleep for the moment. I wouldn't be able to sleep, not without the nightmares. Especially not since I'd heard about her uncle and the place that they asked her to stay. That was supposed to be better than being with my father? Than being with _me_? "I graduated, mostly because the Alpha, Jake Black, made sue that we all did. I suppose that's because Sam Uley made sure that he did all those years ago. Either way, I graduated. Then I met Hannah.

"There were only three of us that weren't imprinted at that point. I started dating; so did Brady. But we hadn't imprinted. But having a girlfriend was better than being alone, you know? Brady always said that I would imprint on you." I gave a grim laugh. "I don't know how we're going to make this work, Spencer." I pulled the blanket up around her. It was lightweight, barely more than a sheet really. She lifted her head and tucked her hair, but never woke. "You deserve someone that is so much better than me, Spencer. I'm messed up. I don't trust people. I don't know how to give responsibility over to people. For so long, I was responsible for everything. You know? For everyone." She muttered my name in her sleep and turned, hissing in pain as she did. "I suppose if there's anyone that I'm supposed to be imprinted on, though, it's you. You are probably the only person who really knows me, Spence.

"I won't let anything happen to you again, though. I promise. You've been through enough in your life. I'll make sure that nothing is ever this difficult again," I swore. She didn't say anything. After all, how could she when she was sleeping. I had an imprint now. I had someone worth protecting. I didn't love her in that way. At least, I didn't think that I did. How could I? She was Spencer.

Yet, the thought of her with another man drove me mad. "Sleep tight, Spence. I love you," I muttered, leaning my head against the headboard and letting myself doze.


	7. Chapter VI

**Author's Note: Sorry that it's so late tonight. I'm really, really, ****_really,_**** sorry. Enjoy it, though!**

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**Chapter VI**

In the quiet of the night, I heard, "I imprinted on you, Spencer Kale." He dropped his hand onto my shoulder, his forearm wrapping around my shoulders. He was warm, unnaturally so. But it felt so good, like a towel that had just been pulled out of the dryer. "I don't know what to do with you. You deserve someone better than me, someone who can give you a house and a family away from any kind of drugs." We _were_ away from drugs. "You should be with someone who doesn't even know what that's like."

I didn't want him to know that I was awake. He would stop talking. The fatigue that I had been feeling was suddenly gone. I wanted to know more about what he was saying. And I wanted to give him comfort. I slid my hand up to his thigh, hoping that he wouldn't think anything of. Just in case, I brought my knees up higher, pretending like I was curling into a ball. I had perfected the art of pretending to sleep living with Uncle Tom. Sometimes, it was the only way to get rid of him and his goonies. I listened to his story about sitting in his homeroom class, listening to one of the guys call me a horrendous name or another.

"We would have never guessed that _I _was a descendant of Taha Aki, especially since my dad didn't know who his was. But I guess that I am. That's the only way that I could have phased." Silently, I processed what he was saying. I knew the name Taha Aki, if only from the snippets of the legends that I had heard. I didn't know them well. In fact, I'd never really heard them. Just the bits and pieces that were told at tribal meetings. Sometimes I would hear the words when I was running from Collin's house to mine or vice versa. I couldn't let him know that I was awake.

So I stayed quiet, listening to his story about meeting Hannah, the girlfriend. "But having a girlfriend was better than being alone, you know?" So he didn't love her. He wasn't in love with her. He just didn't want to be alone. I could understand that. But he could be with me without being alone. And I would be a right sight better than being with someone that wouldn't understand. "Brady always said that I would imprint on you." He barked a laugh at me, the sound terse and almost mean. "I don't know how we're going to make this work, Spencer." The bed shifted as he pulled the blanket up over my shoulder again.

Making another cautious move, I lifted my head and rearranged my hair, getting it more comfortable around me. "You deserve someone that is much better than me, Spencer. I'm messed up." _So am I,_ I wanted to scream at him. "I don't trust people. I don't know how to give responsibility over to people. For so long, I was responsible for everything. You know? For everyone." I knew. He had taken responsibility for me, for his father, for my mother. He had taken care of all of us.

"Collin," I moaned. I couldn't help it. He thought that _I_ deserved better when it was truly the other way around. I had made him responsible for everything, shoved too much on him in my selfish need for comfort.

"I suppose if there's anyone that I'm supposed to be imprinted on, though, it's you." There was that word again. I needed to figured out what it was. "You are probably the only person who really knows me, Spence." His voice dropped down to am intimate whisper, one that I couldn't hear. I wanted to hear him, though. "Sleep tight, Spence. I love you." I heard a thunk as he shifted again. He must have dropped his head back. I stayed silent for a little while, my teeth sunk deep in the inside of my lip where he wouldn't notice, should he look down.

Snoring was my first sign that it was safe for me to "wake up" again. There was definitely no going back to sleep now; not after all the things that I had heard. I needed to figure out the things that he had said, especially since he'd made a point of waiting until he thought I was sleeping to say them. "Collin?" I barely whispered. "Collin?" He was still snoring, though. I tried to shift myself, thinking that I could find a more comfortable position, but the slightest motion caused the greatest amount of pain.

Collin's arm tightened around me, holding me closer than really necessary. I wanted to relish in the feel of him holding me, his warm hand resting possessively on my shoulder. Yet his earlier words came floating to my ears, unwelcome and painful. Whatever an _imprint_ was, he clearly didn't think I'd work well as one. I bit down on my tongue, pursing m lips. How could I probe to him that I could be whatever it was that he wanted me to be? If, of course, he wanted me to be one.

At the end of it all, though, he had told me that he loved me. That was something that we could build on. His love for me wasn't anything like my love for him; I knew that, but if he had some affection for me, _any_ affection for me, maybe I could change it. Maybe I could make it a little more. Of course, I would have to change his view of himself at the same time. How could e think that he was anything but the perfect ma for me? I couldn't say that he didn't have trust issues; I knew that he did. But not only could I understand his worries, I had them myself. If there was anyone that could help him work through them - - Well, let's just say we could work through them together.

What in God's good grief was an imprint? I hadn't wanted to go to sleep. I hadn't wanted to be as tired as I was. Before I really knew what was going on, he was going through the regular routine that he used when we were going to sleep.

A wolf's how sounded, loud and clear and very close by. Collin startled awake, the boyishness that had overtaken his features in sleep vanishing instantly. The hand on my shoulder tightened to more of a grip than a caress. I hissed as his fingers hit one of the lines of stitches or a bruise or one of the other markings that stained my body. "Sorry!" His heat left my body in a rush. "Sorry, Spence. I didn't mean to hurt you."

My eyes were squeezed tight as I waited for the pain to settle again. He brushed his fingers over one of my cheekbones, gathering the stray hairs and tucking them behind my ear. "I'm fine," I promised, breathing through the last of it. "Are you okay?" He had all but jumped out of the bed when he hear the he was afraid of wolves or something. I mean, a lot of other things had changed over the last few years. Maybe he had a newly developed fear of wolves as well. "You woke up a little startled."

"Yeah. I mean, no. I'm fine. I hadn't mean to fall asleep, that's the first thing. And I have to run. My work shift starts soon." My heart stopped beating for a moment. He was going to leave. I was going to be alone. I licked my lips, feeling their cracks beneath my tongue. "I'll be back as soon as I can, Spence." He gathered me close to him. "Brady is right in my kitchen. He'll stay here with you. You won't be alone. I promise. You can just go on back to sleep."

"I don't want to sleep anymore," I whined. My back felt stiff. I wanted to take a walk, to stretch my muscles. He held his hands up in surrender.

"Okay, okay. I'll help you sit up. Come on," he said. He slid his hands underneath me and hefted me upright. He plumped a few pillows and let me sink into the downey softness. "Do you want me to have Brady bring you some breakfast?" I shrugged. Another howl sounded, this one a little different from the first. "Okay, I have to get going. The laptop is right there. I'll have Brady bring you something to eat." He brushed my hair back one last time, seeming to check over my injuries yet again. "Love you, Spence."

He pecked me on the cheek and tossed the crocheted blanket over my legs. "I'll be back soon," he added as he dashed out the back door. I heard the front door snap shut and waited still, the silence settling around me. The computer's top gleamed in the morning sun. I gnawed on my lip for only a moment.

The cool metal almost stung against my skin. A little research never hurt no one.


	8. Chapter VII

**Author's Note: I'm in! For those who don't know, FanFiction is updating some of their stuff. I've been locked out of the system all day. Moving on: sorry that there were no chapters yesterday. Here's the next chapter. Oh, and there will be no ****_Chains Around her Heart_**** update today. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter VII**

I felt silly, like some immature little kid. But I couldn't help myself. I wanted to know what he was talking about. He said that _I _was his imprint. So I pulled the blanket up around my waist, leaning over enough to grasp the edge of the computer. "Does it have to hurt this much?" I asked the air as I grunted my way back up to sitting. I pulled the computer into my lap and lifted the lid, wondering when he'd earned enough money to afford the technology. We'd always dreamed about owning nice things like this.

The screen jumped to life, the blueish glare causing me to squint. The only picture that I knew of lie before my eyes. It was taken the first day of high school by Brady Blackstone, no less. Collin had his arm tossed carelessly about my shoulders, my cheek resting against his shoulder. It was probably the happiest that either one of us had either looked. My hair was tossed all over his, the gleam of the sunlight making it look almost blue in the light. One of my hands had reached up to hold Collin's, like I always did when I was nervous. "I can't believe he got this," I muttered.

"You should have heard him begging me." Brady's voice, though I recognized it, startled me half to death. I jumped, letting out my groan of pain at the movement. "Sorry; I didn't mean to startle you. Next time, I'll announce myself before I come in." I laughed at him and settled down again, looking at the steamy bowl he held in his hands. "Collin asked me to bring you up some breakfast. And I kind of missed you, Squirt." I rolled my eyes at the old nickname. He walked around to the side of the bed that hadn't really been used that night and settled himself down. "It's just some cream o'wheat," he said. "Didn't want you to get sick or anything. At least this way if you do, it'll be easy to throw up."

"Aren't you the optimist," I laughed. I winced, the pain shooting through me. "Remind me not to do that again." I closed the computer and set it aside, swapping it from the bowl Brady was holding. "It's kind of good to see your face," I muttered. "It's just as ugly as it used to be, so at least that much hasn't changed." That, however, was where it stopped. He had grown, just like Collin. He was taller, broader, more defined, more muscular. Instead of looking like a little boy, he looked like a man.

Brady chuckled at my comment. "It's good to see you too, Spence. You're been gone for way too long. Could hardly get Collin to shut up about it." And yet, he'd never come looking for me. I didn't say that, of course. Collin already said that he felt bad. I felt bad for that. "I told him to go after you, Spencer. He couldn't leave his father. I thought that he was waiting until he was eighteen, until he could say that he wasn't responsible for his dad. But even then he didn't leave."

"You know Collin; he was probably hoping that I would be the first one to move. He wanted me to come back, Brady. We both know it," I sighed. "I would have if I could. Trust me, being there was worse than being with my mother."

"I don't know much about what it was like to live with your guys' parents," he replied quietly. "Collin doesn't talk about it." There was something in his voice that said that he knew more than he was letting on. Yet I could tell that he wasn't lying. He couldn't be; his eyes were too steady.

"You don't want to know all the details. Collin and I managed." Until they took me away. Once they'd done that, I lost the only person who had been keeping me sane. "You two seem to have gotten along over the last few years."

"Don't worry; I could never compete with you. I know a lot about Collin, but you know _everything_. He never would let me all the way in. Not like he lets you in," he said, still laughing slightly. "Were you trying to watch a movie or something? I mean, Collin's DVD collection is downstairs."

"No, no; I was, uh, doing some research," I admitted.

"Researching what?" The question was innocent enough, but it still caused the blood to rush to my face. Embarrassment painted my cheeks as I bit down on my tongue. I needed an adequate excuse for what I was doing.

"I was looking for more information about the local legends," I said, the name _Taha Aki_ jumping into my brain. "I want to learn more about where I come from, about my people." Brady nodded slowly, his eyes narrowed like he didn't quite believe me.

"You won't find any good information on the internet. The legends get changed and moderated to work for fiction. I have a friend that was going to come by and bring over some lunch. I'll have her bring you a good book, too."

"A book?" If I wasn't in school, I didn't have books. The concept of having one that wasn't a textbook was unheard for me. I mean, I had _heard_ of it. It had jut never been a reality for me.

"Yeah. They're the legends, but these ones have been written down. They get passed down from generation to generation and then someone had the bright idea to write them down in a book. Emily Uley, that's who is bringing us dinner, she'll bring you the book. Maybe it will give you the answers that you're looking for," he replied. He set the computer onto the nightstand, out of my reach.

"I'm not looking for answers," I retorted. "I'm just - - interested." He shrugged, but I could tell that he didn't quite believe me. Hell, I wouldn't believe me either. But Brady didn't say anything else. He smiled back at me, muttered something about it being nice for me to be back, and left.

I ate my food in silence, not that there was anyone to talk to. I really hoped that Brady hadn't figured out that I knew something. He hadn't seemed too upset, though. He'd even offered to help me. The computer was right out of my reach, and oh so tempting. Still, it wasn't tempting enough for the pain that the movements would inspire. So I ate my food and rested my empty bowl in my lap, my stomach happily full. "Spencer?" Brady called into the room some fifteen minutes later. "Are you awake?" He walked into the bedroom, careful shoving the door aside. I jumped anyways when he walked in. "I startled you? Really?"

"It was your ugly face. I forget about it," I laughed. He rolled his eyes at me. "Don't worry about it. I was just teasing you."

"Well, don't do that when he comes back," Brady laugh. "Collin may or may not kill me if he saw that happening."

"He can't possibly be that overprotective, Brady." It wasn't like the boy loved me. He said that he loved me, but it wasn't like what Brady was talking about. Brady snorted at me like I was being silly. "Okay, whatever. I won't be stupid when he's around."

"Much obliged." He tossed a book just at my side, though all I could think was how lucky I was that he hadn't hit me. "Emily came by early before she had to head out. Luckily, she got the book on her way over."

"And this is all the legends?" He nodded. "Thanks Brady." He turned to walk away, the silence starting the settle again. "Brady, do you think you could - - Would you mind some company? I mean, that is to say that I wouldn't mind if you wanted to sit up here."

"I was wondering when you were going to ask," he laughed, flopping down on the bed. He pulled out a movie from the nightstand and stuck it into the player. "It's got to be boring sitting in this room all by yourself. I don't know how Collin does it day after day."

"He doesn't go and hang out with people?" I asked, genuinely shocked.

"No, he doesn't. He used to try, but Collin is a little difficult to be around. He doesn't always remember that people aren't out to hurt him," Brady explained. "He reads a lot. He _runs_ a lot. Anything to keep his mind off of the other stuff going on."

"He's always been like that," I replied. "He doesn't like to think about the bad. And in our lives, people were out to hurt us. We just grew up a little different that you all."

"It's amazing how you guys use that as an excuse," he said. "Both of you. Any time that you don't want to talk about something or when someone tells you guys something bad, you both say it." I didn't respond to that. Brady waved a hand at me. "You've got research to get done. I'll leave you to it. Don't mind me."

I pulled the thick, leather cover from its pages, looking down at the black ink. I was going to figure this out.


	9. Chapter VIII

**Author's Note: Here's the next chapter. I hope you guys are all enjoying! Love & Thanks!**

**Chapter VIII**

_Bound forever, two parts of one whole._ That was the gist of what an imprint was. According to this book, it forever ties two people together. I was Collin's imprint. He hadn't meant for me to hear any of it either. He'd even said that he didn't love me that way. I scratched at my head and closed the book, laying it aside. "Brady?" He looked over at me with a question in his eyes. "Are these real?" I asked him. If the _imprint_ was something that was real, which it had to be in order for me to be Collin's, then some of these other things had to be real.

"Why would you ask that?" he asked. He laughed a little and then pointed to the book. "You shouldn't believe everything that you read, Spence. Otherwise _The Wizard of Oz_ could be real," he chuckled, all proud of himself for making a joke. "Must be all the drugs going to your head if you think that stuff's real." I shook my head at him and looked back at the book. "What's wrong? You never were one that could hide your emotions."

"It's just something that Collin said the other night. Got me curious about the legends in the first place," I admitted. Brady cocked his head to the side, but didn't say anything. He turned his attention back to the movie that was on the T.V. "Don't mind me," I muttered. "It's just like you're saying; the drugs are just going to my head." That didn't stop me from grabbing the book again and cracking it open another few pages. Brady was on his second movie of the night. Collin still wasn't back. I was still studying the damned all sounded far fetched, the idea that boys could turn into wolves.

Brady's phone rang, pushing the tranquility out of the room. He groaned and dug his phone out of his pocket. "Hey Jake," he called. I couldn't hear the words on the other end of the line, but the person on the other end didn't sound happy. "I know, I know, but Collin asked me to stay home and stick with Spencer." There was another pause as Brady was being reprimanded for something or another. "It's a long story. I'll have Collin stop by and explain thing to you." He waited again. "No, I would but Spencer is right here. Yeah, I know. Okay, tell Ryanne I said hi. We'll see you guys soon." He hung up his phone and tossed it onto a chair. "I swear that boy is trying to get me in trouble."

"I don't mean to start anything," I whispered.

"You're not starting anything, Spencer." Colin's voice surprised, brought my head whipping around to the door. I groaned a little, my neck stiff. "You can head out now," Collin addressed Brady now. The boy simply scoffed and rose off the bed. "I don't need any of your attitude right now, either," he added.

"Not that it would matter if I left now. Jake already called to yell at me about not coming out," Brady muttered. "Get some rest, Spence," he added as he left the bedroom. He was down the stairs, from what I could hear, when he called, "You're welcome, by the way." I chuckled and tried to shift myself around. What I really wanted was get out of this bed, to get to stand up again.

"I see you and Brady hit it off again," he said, crossing the room and leaning down. He brought his hand up to my forehead like he was testing for a fever and then kissed my brow. "You don't have a fever anymore. That's a good sign," he added. "But how are you feeling?"

"I want to get out of this bed," I muttered, meaning to say it to myself, but somehow managing to be loud enough that Collin heard me.

"I don't want you to hurt yourself, Spence." I gave him a pleading look anyways. "Okay, but if it starts to hurt _at all_, you tell me." I nodded eagerly, reaching up with my arm so that he could grasp it.

His fingers overlapped when he grabbed hold of my arm and slowly pulled me up from a sitting position. He swung my legs over the side of the bed and kept pulling until I was standing again. He snaked an arm about my waist and brought me up to his chest. "I'm okay," I promised him, though my knees were shaking tremendously. "You can let me go." He pulled back to look at me and make sure that I was being serious. He shook his head and brought me a little closer.

"I'm _never_ letting you go again, Spencer," he promised. He slid his hands down my shoulders and arms until we were able to link hands. He held me in front of him and helped me to take a few steps. "You're wobbling," he pointed out. I nodded and tightened my hold on him. "Are you sure that you want to be doing this right now?" I nodded again, feeling like my feet were going to slid out from underneath me. "You know, you could speak. It would make me feel a little better."

"I'm fine," I said aloud. "I'm just tired of lying down."

"Okay, then we have you up and about now," he laughed.

"Collin?" He hummed in response. "What's an imprint?" I asked then. We were walking somewhere down the hallway at that point, but Collin stopped dead. He cocked his head to the side, his mouth flopping open like a fish.

"Where'd you hear that?" he asked, his voice suddenly dry.

"It was, uh, in a book that Brady brought me to read," I half-lied. "I wanted to know more about the local legends and he brought me this book. It's in your bedroom." He frowned like he wasn't happy with what I was saying. "I read it through today, while you were gone. There was something about imprints. I was just wondering what it was. The book didn't really explain it."

"It's a soulmate," he began slowly, taking a step back so that I could walk again. "According to the legends, the imprint is the Spirit Warrior's soulmate. She's the one and only for him," he explained. His fingers crawled up higher, now wrapped around my upper arms instead of cupping my elbows. I couldn't help but whimper when I took the next step, the joy of getting out of bed finally being overridden by pain. "You think you've had enough for today?" he asked. His tone was polite, but no missing the underlying steel that said I didn't really have a choice. He may not love me, but he was concerned about me to some extent.

"Can't we find somewhere else for me to sit for a little while?" I begged. "I don't want to be in that bed, Collin."

"For someone who's never had pillows, I thought you would be excited," he replied. His voice sounded gruff, like he was angry.

"I didn't mean to sound ungrateful," I said hurriedly. "I appreciate everything, Collin." And I was overjoyed to be with the guy that I loved. "I'm just not one that likes to sit still for too long."

"I know," he laughed. "And I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, Spence." He looked down at me with those serious eyes, the look that I never could figure out. "There's an office that we made into a living room up here. How about we sit in there for a little while? You can be out of the bedroom and I know that you're not straining yourself trying to do something you shouldn't be."

"Sounds fine," I replied, trying not to sound overjoyed. Still holding me tight, he brought me down the hall and into the room. The sun streamed in from large windows on either wall, the bright blue couch throwing beams of blue all over the white walls. There were pictures of Brady and his family, Collin and Brady, them and all their friends. The one framed in front of me, though, was another one of me and Collin. It was still us at high school, since hat was the only place that we only had pictures taken. "I remember that," I said, lifting my hand enough to point to the picture.

"Me too," he admitted. Once we were at the couch, he spun us so that he could sit first. Gently, but insistently, he brought me down to rest in his lap. I gave a startled gasp and tried to position myself beside him instead of on top of him, but he wouldn't allow it. "Do you really think I'm going to let you out of my arms? Seriously? With my luck you'd try and see just how far you can push yourself." I rolled my eyes at him. "Now, what's the _real_ reason that you want to know about imprints and legends?"

I bit my lip, knowing that there was no lying to Collin. I could try as hard as I wanted, but I never succeeded. "You were talking about it last night, when I was going to sleep."


	10. Chapter IX

**Author's Note: There will be a DOUBLE UPDATE in the near future. Also, please check my profile for update information for the rest of this week. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter IX:****_ Collin's Point of View_**

"What are you talking about, Spence?" I tried, my heart pounding so hard in my chest. I almost regretted having her in my lap, especially when she could feel my heart thudding against her shoulder. She was asleep; her heartbeat had slowed to the range of sleep... Or deep relaxation. Shit. She hadn't been sleeping. I was just overzealous, excited to share everything with the only person that I ever really trusted. I should have checked and made sure she was asleep. She'd even tried to tell me that she wasn't. She'd called out my name. God I was such a bonehead.

"I was falling asleep when you were sitting in bed beside last night. You told me that I was your imprint," she said quietly. I didn't know how to respond to that. I remembered everything that I said. I didn't need her to reiterate it to me, but I did need to figure out how to play this off. She couldn't know yet. She'd only just come home, only just come back to me. It would be too much. I would lose her again. She'd be afraid and do what she's always done when she's afraid: run.

"The medication Carlisle gave you must have been the good stuff if you were dreaming about all that, Spence," I laughed. She tilted her head back to look at me with that knowing look in her eyes that said that she didn't believe me. "Come on, Spencer, you can't believe that those legends are real," I tried then. She struggled suddenly, probably putting strain on her stitches. I hadn't been expecting her to want to move at all. She tugged herself out of my arms and hobbled to the other side of the room.

"You've never lied to me before, Collin. I know that a lot of things have changed while I was gone, but I never in my life imagined that you would lie to me," she said. There were no tears shimmering in her eyes, but the look in those brown orbs was almost worse than if she had been crying. "I'd like to go back to the bed now. Please," she said then.

"Spencer," I muttered, whispering her name like a prayer. She was hurt because I was trying to protect her. I couldn't let her know about this yet. It was just too soon and I wouldn't risk losing her. I couldn't. I couldn't lose her again. It would kill me this time.

"I'm really not in the mood to hear excuses," she whispered, faltering when she tried to take a step on her own. "You're either going to tell me the truth or I'm going to bed." I didn't say anything. I watched as she shook her head and tried to take another step. She almost fell, but ended up grabbing onto the arm of the couch. She recovered and shoved herself up onto her feet. The sad fact that I had to admit was that she was walking a little steadier when she made it out the door and into the hallway.

"Spencer," I called again. I couldn't see her. I needed to see her, to hold her, to make sure that she wasn't hurting herself. I grabbed her arm and gently pulled her back to myself. "I'm not lying to you because I _want_ to. I'm doing it to protect you. I promise. I want to tell you."

"Then tell me," she shouted at me. Her eyes were like fire, trying to burn me from the inside out. "Tell me what you're hiding. Tell me, Collin!"

"It's true," I blurted at her. She balked and narrowed her eyes, but didn't pull away from me. "Everything that you read in that book is true. All of the stuff, the wolves, the Cold Ones, the vampires, it's all real. Okay? I don't want you to know about this yet. I don't want you to feel like you have to do something that you _don't_ have to do, Spencer."

"I don't understand," she whispered. "If it's all real, and you said that I'm your imprint, then you're saying that I'm your soulmate." I nodded because my throat was too dry for me to say anything. "But you don't want me." It wasn't a question, but I couldn't help but try to find an answer anyways. "I get it." She tried to pull out of my arms, but I wouldn't let her. She didn't really think that _she_ was the problem, did she? Were all girls this stupid? Or did I find one of the few who put everyone else before herself?

"You don't get it, Spencer. Trust me, you don't. You think that I don't want you and that's not what it is. I don't want you to be my imprint because I've seen what it does to my friends." She cocked an eyebrow at me. "I'm not talking about them being whipped or being stupid. I'm talking about the girls. Every single imprint has had her life at stake at one point or another _because_ of this. Ryanne, Kim, Emily, Nate, Charlie, Penn, all of them have had their lives in danger. The guys freaked out, of course, because they didn't know what to do when they're imprints are in danger. But I know what it feels like, Spence. I know what it feels like to look at the one person that you would die for and know that she's in danger every day. I lost you once before. I let them take you away. I will not lose you again."

It wasn't the way that I wanted to tell her. It wasn't the way that I had planned to tell her. I wasn't going to be stupid, like Jake or Paul or even Embry. I wasn't going to keep her in the dark. I _was_ going to tell her, but I wanted her to have time to adjust. It was only her third day home. There was just too much drama here. It shouldn't be like this for her. "You deserve safety, Spencer. Safety that exists in a way that I can't give you. I will always protect you, always be here for you. I am stronger and faster than anything else out there, but I can't protect you from being a target. I don't want this for you." She had dropped her chin to her chest, defeat sagging her shoulder. I gripped her chin between my thumb and forefinger and pulled her gaze up to me. "I want better for you." And now I'd taken that choice away from her.

"You know, Collin, it will never cease to amaze me how dense you are," she muttered. "You are the smartest guy that I know and you just don't get the simplest things sometimes." She jerked her chin from my fingers. "Will you please take me to bed? I'm tired." I nodded cautiously, concerned about the sudden drop in her attitude. She wasn't pestering me for more information, which wasn't like Spencer. Growing up, she'd had an insatiable curiosity that got us in trouble more time than I could count. After her cryptic statement, though, she didn't ask me any more questions.

I supported her weight and helped her hobble into the bedroom, thinking about how tired I really was. I helped her lie down on the bed and settle herself in the feathered softness of the pillows. Her earlier statement about not having had real pillow before came flooding back to me. I had thought that things had gotten so much better for her after she'd left La Push. I had assumed that the people that took her made sure that she was going somewhere better than what she had known. "I have to go and talk to Brady," I whispered after I had covered her to the neck with blankets. "I'll be up real soon."

"Okay," she replied, but the meekness of her voice almost made me crawl into bed right then. Instead I checked her fever once more and turned towards the hallway. I heard the bed shift a little behind me as she settled herself. I sank down onto the cold wood of the hallway and leaned my head against the wall.

What was I supposed to do now? She'd read the book. She'd found out the truth. She knew that she was my imprint. I had taken her only choice away from her. I was putting her in danger. If she were to die, it would be my fault now. The thought alone tore through my gut and left an empty hole. I thunked my head against the wall in frustration. "You're thinking hard," a feminine voice said. Ryanne Black stood before me, her black hair hanging in loose curls about her pale face. I should have known that it was her. She was the Alpha's mate and the one that managed to straighten all of us new imprints out. "What's eating you?" she asked, bouncing her daughter on her hip. Sarah Black reached her hands out to me, inviting me to take her from her mother.

"My imprint knows," I breathed, settling the little girl on my lap.  
"Well, that happened faster than normals. I guess that settles the debate on who has the biggest balls of the Pack," she laughed, but quickly noticed that I wasn't. "What's wrong? You don't love you?"

"I've always loved Spencer. I will always love Spencer. As a friend. She's my best friend, Ryanne. Not the love of my life," I sighed, looking down at Sarah's little dark hair.

"You're stupider than Jake ever was," she laughed. I rocketed my gaze up to her and cocked an eyebrow. "Collin, your imprint is in love with you. And you have just severely friend-zoned her."


	11. Chapter X

**Author's Note: There will be a DOUBLE UPDATE TODAY! Please see my profile for information. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter X**

"Ryanne," I heard him chuckle, "I know Spencer. I know her better than anyone. Trust me. She doesn't love me that way." I rested my forehead against the door, my palms pressed flat against the wood. "If there is one things that everyone should know about Spencer, it's that she can't tell a lie. She wouldn't have kept something like that from me, Rye. She would have told me."

There was silence on the other side of the door followed by the sound of a hand hitting skin. "Have you ever considered," the woman giggled on the other side of the door, "that she's been saying it for years? Like every time that she said, she _meant_ it. She's been telling you for ages, Collin, and you haven't been listening. Trust me, I've been in that position. It sucks. You should get your brain working, boy." There was silence on the other side of the door for a few minutes. Then I heard, "Okay, let me ask you this: are you attracted to her?"

"What?"

"Are you attracted to her?" she articulated, each word practically a sentence in itself. Collin probably shook his head because she continued, "Give yourself a week. Look at her, try to imagine what it would be like to kiss her, to hold her, to _love_ her and then tell me that answer." I heard retreating footsteps pounding down the stairs and Collin unintelligibly to himself. As quickly as I could, I scurried back to the bed. I settled myself on my side, the side that ached the least, and flipped the blanket back over me.

Moments later, the door opened. I kept my eyes closed and took a deep breath, hoping that he wouldn't hear me. I waited for his feet to cease their sound, for the weight of him to settle on the mattress. Instead, I continued to listen to him pace, to hear him murmur to himself again and again. He walked back and forth, probably rubbing a tread mark in the carpet. Not that I should care; this wasn't my house. From the sounds of things, I wouldn't be here for very long. I may be his imprint, but he didn't want anything to do with me and he probably couldn't wait to get rid of me.

The bed creaked and groaned as Collin settled on the mattress beside. He shifted closer, until I could feel the heat of him alongside me. "Spencer?" he breathed. "Spence, are you still awake?" I did my best to pretend to rouse and roll on my side so that I was facing him. I couldn't hold my grimace at bay, though. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up."

"Yeah, you just called my name for the fun of it," I replied, hoping that my voice sounded sleepy enough. "I'm awake. What's on your mind?"

"Spence, you took that whole wolf thing really, really well. Don't you have questions for me? Like, anything?" he asked. I pried my eyes open and looked at his brown orbs looking down at me with fear. "Please; I want to answer your questions. I want you to know everything." My face was pressed against his thigh again. It wasn't so hard to lift my head enough and rest in his lap, a place that I wanted to stay for the rest of my life if he would give me the chance. I could make a good partner for him. A good girlfriend or wife or whatever he wanted. I could do it if he wouldn't send me away. If he would let me show him, I could do anything for him.

I felt his hand in my hair a moment later, the warmth soothing away a headache that I'd been fighting. "How do you phase?" I asked after a few moments. "Is it like werewolves? You know, moonlight and all that?" His hands didn't stop playing with my hair, which I found a little weird. He'd never done anything like that before. He would brush my hair out of my face or kiss my cheek, but this kind of lengthy affection was new to me. His fingers dug in a little deeper, no longer caressing my hair but massaging my scalp. It was like sitting in heaven for a few moments.

"No; I'm not bound to the moon," he said after a few minutes of gently digging his fingers into my scalp. "Our phasing is tied to our emotions. Usually anger, but I've seen the guys phase when they're really sad, too. Although most of their emotions come out in anger." His arms slid under me and shifted me so that we were perpendicular, most of my head and shoulders lying in his lap now.

"What does it feel like? I mean, it doesn't hurt does it?"

"It feels like... Like there's some kind of fire inside your stomach." Another hand came up to trace the stitches in my shoulder. "The angrier you get, the hotter the fire blazes. It eats you from the inside out. It burns your stomach, your lungs, your heart. Just when you think you can't take any more heat, you're done. You've phased." I rubbed my cheek on his jeans as I tried to find a more comfortable position.

"That doesn't sound pleasant," I admitted. He chuckled, the sound familiar and soft. At least something was still as I remembered.

"The first couple of times, it's not," he replied. "The very first time, I was scared. I didn't know what was wrong with me and no one was explaining it to me. I tried to fight it. Sam Uley, he was the Alpha at the time, he said that all of us tried to fight it. We get scared and tell our bodies to stop, but the Spirit Warrior in us knows what to do. The very first time, it felt like my bones were cracking, being pulled out of my body the wrong way. After I phased and just laid there for a little while. Once I figured out that fighting didn't make any better, I let it go. I let it consume me. It doesn't hurt now."

I heard his yawn above me, the high pitched whine that was almost dog-like. It brought a little smile to my lips, reminding me that he was, in fact, part dog. "So, do you have multiple personalities? Like, is there a wolf you and a human you?"

"That's a hard question to answer, I guess. I don't have multiple personalities, I know that much. The legends say that the Warrior asked to share souls with the wolf; that they're one. When I'm a wolf, though, I'm still aware of myself as me. I still have my own human brain and thoughts. There's a wolf side of me that drives me, I'll admit that. I have instincts that I wouldn't have without the wolf, desires that I wouldn't have."

"Like to kill things? To hunt and stuff like that?"

"No," he laughed out right at me. "We're Spirit Warriors, not _real_ wolves, Spencer. We're bigger, faster, stronger."

"Kanye West is going to sue you for the right to his lyrics," I teased. He chuckled again.

"At least they didn't keep you completely in the dark in Oklahoma." The hand that had been tracing bumps and bruises stopped. He lifted me again and slid down so that he could be comfortable. I was lying with my head pillowed on his chest now. Somehow, it felt more intimate than when I was lying against his thigh. "We don't eat animals or humans. We protect the tribe, protect our people, from the Cold Ones. Better known as vampires, nowadays. The instincts that I'm talking about are a little different. Like with you. You're my imprint. You're the perfect match to me and the wolf side of me. While the human part of me is worried about you, about you getting hurt, about what this could do to our friendship, the wolf side of me knows that you're the right one."

My heart literally stopped beating for a moment or two. Some part of him really did want me. I could work with that. If some part of him wanted me, I could use it to convince the other side of him to love me too. That shouldn't be hard. "Have you ever been seriously hurt doing this? Is it dangerous, Collin?"

"No more dangerous than sending two children down dark alleys to buy drugs for their parents," he replied softly. "And no; I've never been seriously hurt doing this. I've had a few close calls, but one of the benefits of being part wolf is that we heal faster than the average human. I could go downstairs and slice my hand open and it would heal up in about a minute or two. Some things take longer, but nothing compared to what it would do to us if we were human."

I opened my mouth to ask another question, this time wanting to know more about fighting with the vampires, but was interrupted by an untimely yawn. "Let's get some sleep, Spencer. You could use a nap and I could use some good rest." His hand finally left my hair, probably to toss it over his head in his usual sleeping position.

"Love you, Col," I muttered.

"I love you too, Spencer." His eyes fluttered closed then which was probably for the best. Some part of him had to _mean_ those words. I just had to make _all_ of him mean it.


	12. Chapter XI

**Author's Note: Please see my profile t find out about what's going on this weekend. Enjoy the second update of the day!**

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**Chapter XI**

I spent a week exploring the upstairs of the house before Collin trusted me to go down stairs by myself. There were stitches in my thigh, bruises that I didn't even know that began to cause me pain. Collin had gone running patrol after I'd been I'd at his house for seven days exactly. I slowly descended the stairs, still leaning on the railing a little more than I would like. "That you, Spence?" Brady called up the stairs. I took a deep breath and called back to him as I came down the last two stairs. "You feeling better today?" I nodded again.

I took the arm that he offered me, feeling stupid and weak. It'd been a week now. People recovered from gunshot wounds faster than this. "I was hoping that I could make some lunch," I whispered. I let go of his hand and took a few steps on my own. "It's the least that I can do to say thank you to you and Collin." Brady followed a little behind me, there to catch me if I should fall like I had a few days ago. It was strange to me that he didn't have an imprint. He seemed like the nurturing kind. Although Collin did say that imprinting was supposed to be rare. _And_ Brady did have a girlfriend.

"You don't have to make dinner tonight, Spencer. We're going to a barbecue," he said. "Collin is going to finish his patrol and then we're going to head out."

"Is Stephanie coming?" I asked. I'd only heard her name a few times, never met the girl herself. Brady was one of the few people that I considered a friend. I was interested to see what this girl was like; to make sure that she was a good person for Brady. He needed someone that wasn't going to put up with his shit, wasn't going to let him act like a jerk. Brady had that side of him, though it was much smaller than it had been when we were kids. He needed someone that wasn't going to let him act like that, that was going to force him to be a good guy. To be the guy that I knew.

"Stephanie and I are going through a bit of a rough time," he replied with a shrug. "And I try not to bring her with me when we go to Pack stuff like this. It's the only time that we really get to be us, you know?" I nodded, though I didn't really understand. I just kept to myself and hope that I would be out of trouble long enough to avoid getting hit again. I hadn't told Collin about that part and I didn't intend to. He felt guilty enough about letting me leave when there was truly nothing else that he could have done. He didn't need to know about the rest, about the horrible past and the pain.

The front door opened then. Collin sauntered in and shook his head, sending water droplets flying on the floor. "Hey Brady. Is Spencer up?" he shouted. Brady waved him into the kitchen area that I was leaning against the countertop, trying to appear that I had all my strength back. "Hey Spence," he greeted. He crossed the tile flooring and dropped a kiss onto my cheek. "Are you feeling better today?" I nodded, feeling much lighter with him with me. "You up for a little adventure? Seth is hosting a barbecue tonight. The Pack and all their kids are going to be there. It'll be good food, good friends. I figured it would be a good first outing for you. You know, if you don't feel well or something, then we can head out and no one will really care."

"I don't know, Collin," I admitted. I had heard about the Pack, knew their names, but I'd never met them all. My bruises were still healing, the deeper cuts still had stitches in them. I looked like I was a piece of meat that had been tenderized for dinner. "I look like crap," I breathed. His hand reached out, bridging the distance between us to brush my hair from my face.

"You look beautiful, Spencer." I felt my eyes widen and my jaw go slack. I had known Collin my entire life, but he had never once said those words to me. When we were little, we didn't think of each other like that. We were just friends. We were the only people in the world that understood what it felt like to be in our situation. At least, in our little world. Since I'd come back, he'd just continued acting like he always had. "If you don't want to go, we don't have to."

I hadn't noticed that Brady had silently slipped from the room until Collin took another step closer to me. His hands came to rest on my waist. He towered over me by at least eight inches, if not more. I craned my neck to look up at him. "The Pack wants to meet you, Spencer. Remember when I told you about the Pack link? They know who you are. They know what you are to me. They want you to be a part of our family. If you don't want to go though, I'll understand. Brady's can bring us back some dinner and we'll sit on the couch and watch those stupid old movies."

There was a certain look of defeat in his eyes though. His eyes lit up when he talked about me meeting the Pack. He was happy again, the happiest that I had seen him. "We could go, Collin. I just - - please don't leave me alone there. That's the only thing that I'm worried about," I whispered. "Please. I don't... I don't do well with people that I've never met before." He smiled down at me, tenderness glowing on his lips. His thumbs rubbed along my waist, chills traveling up my spine.

"Remember when I said that I didn't want to lose you?" he whispered. I nodded and eventually dipped my head to look at the ground. He grabbed my chin and pulled my gaze up to his. "I'm not going to let you go, Spencer. I _can't_ lose you. I won't leave you alone. I'll stay right by your side the entire time. The second that you want to go, we will. The guys will understand." I couldn't bring myself to disappoint him; not again. If I wanted to show him that he could love me, then I was going to have to brave his friends. "It's just my friends," he swore.

If I had known then that his _friends_ were all as large or larger than him, I probably wouldn't have agreed to go. Everyone was smiling and laughing. Children that were happier than I could ever remember being giggled, the world revolving around them. I could hear their joy all the way from the front of the house. "It's going to be fine, Spencer. I promise," Collin whispered when I started fidgeting and clenching his hand as tight as possible. "Trust me, Spence."

He didn't knock. Brady shoved the door aside and let the two of us walk in from of him. "Turns out he's finally imprinted," a feminine voice that I recognized said. "I was beginning to think they'd be the only two." Brady grunted and rolled his eyes. We rounded the corner and were met with stares. Six pairs of eyes stared at with questioning gazes, worrisome and curious. Collin tightened his hand around mine, the strength of him giving me enough power to continue standing. "Boys are being banished to the backyard with the kids," a redhead announced.

My knuckles whitened as I gripped Collin's hand and leaned into his side. Why couldn't I just crawl into his skin and be done for the day. "It's okay, Spence," Collin said. The hand that was holding mine released me and wrapped around my shoulders. "I'll stay in here." Five of the girls and looked at the redhead in the middle. I noticed that there were only two girls in the group that weren't native. I worried about what the girl in charge was going to say. She could, in theory, tell Collin that he wasn't allowed to be in the house. The last thing that I wanted was to be outside with all those men.

To my disbelief, the girl shrugged and turned her attention back to the food. "See?" He nodded towards a little bench and led me over to it. Softly, he pressed down and tucked me into his side. "Tucker's not heartless. She wouldn't tell me I _had_ to go outside. She's new to the Pack, too." I looked over at where the girl in question was standing. She looked completely at ease with the girls that were surrounding her. She was laughing at something that one of the other girls had said. I would have through that she knew them well, that she had always been a part of their little group.

"Maybe this won't be _so_ bad," I muttered under my breath. Collin smiled at me and kissed the top of my head, laughter bubbling in his throat.

"Hey, Coll!" someone called, pulling his attention from me and smiling brightly at the tall, dark man that walked up. "Who's this?" I swallowed hard

Let it begin.


	13. Chapter XII

**Author's Note: I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so sorry. I had assumed that I was going to have WiFi and time and I had neither of them. Please don't hate me. Here's the next chapter! Love you all, Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XII**

The dinner wasn't all that bad. I stuck by Collin's side and, true to this word, he never left my side. The other girls left to go get their nails done. I stiffened, half expecting Collin or one of his friends to suggest that I go with them. The wolf beside me, however, just tightened his grip on my hand and rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand. His friends didn't say anything to me, which was surprising. We ate and talked in relative comfort, Collin talking with his friends. He was happier than I had ever seen him before.

I rested my head on his shoulder and watched the people before me. They talked and acted like a family, teasing each other, blowing on their babies stomachs. I listened to children laugh, to deep booming, male laughter joining in. It was like a lullaby, like something that I had wanted to hear a million times, but never found the right tune for. I found my eyelids growing heavy, a smile resting on my lips. I allowed myself to relax and slump against Collin's side. I heard my name muttered in the ensuing quiet. But I couldn't bring myself to care. Not this time.

"Spencer," I heard the murmuring, but I couldn't bring myself to want to move. I was happy where I was. There was something warm and safe about the blanket that had coiled itself around me. "Spence, we're heading home. I can carry you if you'd like," the same deep voice continued. I nodded against the almost rough fabric I was using to pillow my head. I'd never had a pillow before. The ones that Collin had given me were like sleeping on clouds. But this one... This one was hard, dense, and yet it still formed around my head like those soft pillows had. "Okay, love," he said, bringing me tighter against the warm quilt that I was using. Much like my pillow, it was firm but conformed to my body perfectly. "I shouldn't have taken you out tonight," Collin continued. "You must be so tired."

"I'll be fine once we're home," I replied. I heard breath catch in a throat; I assumed that it was Collin, but I didn't have the energy to analyze it. I flopped my head against his shoulder and let myself drift off to sleep once again.

In the days to come, I started feeling better and better. Colin slept in the bed with me and held me close all night, some of the best rests that I'd ever had. Collin had started to allow me out of the house, no farther than the marked tree he'd shown me in the forest, but it was better than being cooped up in the house for days on end. I started taking walks, enjoying myself out in the clean forest air. Every once in a while I would catch a wisp of fur, but I couldn't say whether it was Collin or one of the other guys. I hoped for the former.

It didn't take more than a week for curiosity to get the best of me though. The marked tree was barely more than a ten minute walk from my childhood home. I knew that my mother was dead, that she was gone and would never be back, but I couldn't fight the desire to go and see the old place. Maybe it wasn't standing. Maybe, like me, it hadn't been able to handle the pressures of the world and crumbled. I hoped not. It may not be the best place in the world and I most certainly didn't want to live there again, but it was the only thing I had left of my childhood. That and Collin.

I took a deep breath and crossed the invisible line that Collin had created for me. I half expected someone to come sprinting out of the trees and growling at me, forcing me back to where Collin had told me to stay. Especially knowing that _he_ was the one running patrol for the night. When no one came, I took a few more steps towards the old house, feeling like a mischievous child. I bit down on my lower lip and took another step away from my friend and towards the past.

"These beasts never cease to amaze me," an icy voice whispered. Instinct took over, fear gripping me tightly and trapping my jaw closed. I didn't turn to see who was after me. I hadn't recognized the voice. It was my uncle or one of Collin's friends, but I wouldn't put it past Uncle Tom to hire someone. He couldn't very well leave his business. I took off at a dead bolt. Regardless of how recovered I was, my muscles were still stiff. I hadn't made it more than a few dozen feet when the man was standing before me.

His face was pale, like he had painted over with the whitest foundation. His eyes were ruby red, like the worst sunburn that I had ever seen. His dark hair was short and slicked to his head, as if he had too much gel greased in it. "Have they told you nothing? You and the other one both tried to run. Well, _she _at least called her him. What's the matter with you?" he asked when I stood frozen, fear eating at my heart. I couldn't find my voice, I couldn't find my mouth to force sounds from.

"Don't you have anything to say" he demanded now. "The other one was a little brat. She was hell bent and determined that I wasn't going to hurt her. 'My friends won't let you,'" he mocked a voice that sounded like a little girl's. I bit my lip again and backed a step away, hoping that I could get to Collin's territory or become a blip on his radar and get out of here. "Your wolves killed my brother," he announced.

My fears were confirmed with that one phrase. Collin had told me that they'd killed a vampire a few weeks back. He had also explained that they only killed vampires. Which meant that this thing was, just as I feared, a vampire. I began to tremble, fear rolling up and down my spine. "Oh, isn't that a delicious smell. I should like to keep you in this state. Goodness, I don't think I've ever smelled a person as delicious as you are when you're in fear. Marvelous," he stated.

I took a hesitant step back, hoping that I could make it to the marked tree again. He sighed heavily, like I had exasperated him. "I had hoped that you weren't going to continue to try and escape. I mean, you had to have realized that this is useless. I'm going to take you with me."

"You can't," I mouthed. No sound would come out, but he seemed to understand me perfectly well.

"I can do whatever I want. Your wolves killed my family now I'll be killing theirs." I jerked my chin up a notch, trying to hide the quivering of my lower lip. "If you aren't careful, I might see fit to kill you first."

"No," I mouthed again, trying to infuse some determination into my expression and the set of my jaw.

"No? You think that I can't hurt you? You come with me or I'll kill your wolf," he said. "I have Claire and Jay and I'm moments away from getting those annoying infants. Won't it be a terror for the last thing your wolf hears to be that you were too weak to help you friends? To keep his friends' families safe? You say another word, I'll kill them and him."

The defiant part of me what to point out that I hadn't actually said a word, but I chose to snap my jaw closed and press my quivering hands over my mouth to show him that I would, indeed, remain quiet. "That's a good girl," he praised. "Now start walking with me. And if you call for help, remember what I'll do."

This was what disobedience got me. When I hadn't listened to my mother and spoken to the police, they'd taken me away form her, from my friend. In Oklahoma, I had listened to the police and done as they asked. I'd nearly gotten myself killed doing that. The only command that Collin had given me was to stay within the bounds of the marked trees. It wasn't a hard thing to do. Yet I had disobeyed him, decided that my own desires were greater than his rules. If I had just listened to him, this wouldn't be happening. My stupidity was going to put Collin's life and the lives of innocent people at risk. I would never speak again if it would make things better. I would forever do as I was told if it would make things okay.

I noticed that we were nearing the road, especially when I saw the gleaming SUV parked on the side. He stepped forward and wrapped something about my eyes. In a flash that I couldn't identify, he was behind me, tying the strings tight. I could see nothing, only darkness. "Don't you dark speak, little one," he said. "I'll get you in the car and you sit still. Soon enough, we'll be finished." I wanted to ask him where we were going, what he had planned, but after his threat, I could say nothing. "We'll have ourselves a little bit of fun."


	14. Chapter XIII

**Author's Note: If I get my paper written before it's due tonight, then I will have a second chapter up tonight. Just a couple of notices for you guys: there will be a new update timetable posted effective as of Sunday. Saturday will be a little hectic while I experiment with times and stuff like that. See my profile for more details. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XIII**

"You all really do need to stop being around those wolves," he said conversationally as he guided me towards the SUV that was waiting for us. "I tracked you to the house and busted through the window to scare you. Of course, I stopped relying on my senses at that point or I would have realized that you weren't there." I tried to tune him out and listen for anyone else in the car, but I couldn't hear anything. "Don't worry about your friends just yet. We have to get to the RV first. It's too long of a drive to keep you all crammed in a car. At least, in my opinion. I'm cruel, not inhumane."

I tried to figure out where we were going, but without my sight it was impossible. I could feel that we made a right turn and then a left. After several more, though, I couldn't keep track of the twisting and turning. I did feel us stop by the time that I had sung through Eminem's _Mockingbird_ seven times. "Come on, little one. Out of the car," he commanded. I reached for the handle, but those icy fetters locked around my wrist. "Sorry, but I'm afraid I can't allow you the use of your hands. I can't have you bailing out of the care mid-drive and killing yourself. It would just ruin my plan."

Plastic replaced his hands and zipped tight, allowing me nothing more than a centimeter of wiggle room. "I do wish that you would be a little less afraid. My hunger is getting a little out of control and that delicious scent isn't helping any," he continued. There was the opening and closing of the car door followed by a brief moment of silence before cold air was rushing against my right side. "Come along, now," he said, locking his hand around my upper arm again. He pried me gently from the car, careful to keep me from falling over. "I do so hate doing this kind of thing. In Italy, we're so much more civilized," he proceeded to tell me. Italy; he was from Italy. "We bring the people up for tours and devour them when they've had their fun. At least they have a little bit of a good time. Screaming ruins your appetite, you know?" I shook my head, though I knew it was a rhetorical question.

"At least you're a good listener. Most of the ones I kidnap are yapping my ears off about how they're going to escape, someone will come and find the, I could go on and on for days. With the wolf pack, I had been expecting you to come with a fight. That's why I was trying to scare you, by the way. Fear usually stuns you guys into silence," he shrugged. His cold hand slid from my arm to my lower back. I shivered, my brain screaming for Collin to come and save me. "There's some steps up here. Four to be exact. Don't fall," he said, turning me to my left.

I reached out with both hands to grab for a railing but could find none. Eventually, I had to raise my foot and hope that I was high enough to make the step. I counted with each step that I took until I was on the fourth. I didn't both to pick my foot up that time, but merely shuffled forward... And ended up sprawling to my face, my wrist aching as I tried to catch myself. "Sorry, I must have miscounted," he chuckled. I heaved myself up from the ground, anger bubbling in my chest. It wasn't hard to count to five. His hand was back on my elbow, dragging me forward, deeper into the vehicle.

Roughly, he shoved me down into a seat, his fingers whispering across my waist as he buckled me in. He leaned over me, his breath just as icy as the rest of him. "You speak, move a muscle, or try to take that blindfold off, I'll kill everyone on this thing. We clear?" I nodded again, unsure who all was on the RV with me, unsure who would die.

I barely heard him moving about the vehicle, but in a few moments, there was music blasting. I couldn't hear the breathing of anyone else around me. I couldn't hear the trees being rustled by the wind. I could only hear the heavy bass of the music that was playing from the radio. This time, I didn't try to keep track of the number of times that the song played. I didn't try to count the number of turns we made or which direction we went. No, this time I just let the fear overtake me. I had only been home for a few days.

This wasn't supposed to happen this way. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but Collin couldn't fall in love with me if I was dead. And the other people that this man had taken were just kids, just innocent children. I couldn't let those kids go through the things that this monster had in mind. No, I wouldn't let them get hurt. I didn't care whose kids they were. No child deserved to go through pain. I knew what that felt like. Collin wouldn't want it to happen for them either. I'd seen him with those kids at the barbecue. If I could just figure out how to get us out of here.

As if my God was deciding that _now_ was the appropriate time to answer my prayers, the vehicle slowed. It felt like we were taking some kind of off ramp from the tilt ad decrease in speed. We didn't go very far after that, only one full song before we came to a stop. The engine turned off, but the radio still blared. I felt the man's presence before he actually leaned over and spoke to me. "I'm putting something in your ear," he said close to the outer shell of my ear. I wasn't given time to nod or even acknowledge that he'd said anything when I felt putty being shoved roughly into the inner canal. The music was gone instantly, silence surrounding me.

I didn't like this. Not only was I trapped in a world of darkness, but now I couldn't hear the few sounds that had been around me. I couldn't even hear the damned music anymore. My heart raced in my chest, fear clenching my gut. If there was one thing that I despised, it was being alone and unaware. I was never a proactive person, never one that could do something about her situation. But I always observed. I could describe anything and everything in perfect detail. What I heard, what I saw, what I felt. But I couldn't do any of that when all of my senses had been taken away from me. Unless the man put something in my mouth, which I would never eat, I was senseless, trapped in a seat with that stupid belt digging into my shoulder. I tried to listen, but through whatever putty-like substance he'd put in my ears, there was nothing.

I was trapped in the perpetual darkness for what seemed like eternity. I was just to the point of tears when I felt vibrations behind my back. It had to be the music, the heavy bass thrashing against the speakers. A few minutes later, the frozen fingertips touched my earlobes. Sound flooded me, the screaming music nearly shattering my eardrums with its volume. His cold breath brushed over my ear. "Sorry, dear, just a precaution. Can't have you figuring out my plan," he whispered. I shivered again. He was a threat. Everything in my body said that he would kill me. He'd kill anyone if they would just give him the chance. He was heartless, soulless. He was a monster.

I strained to listen to the noises that weren't the music. I could hear him murmuring over the phone, anger and annoyance seeping into his voice. "Girl," was one of the few words that I was able make out. "Babies - - three - - difficult." That was it. Whoever he was talking to must have Tucker, the girl that I had met the other night at the barbecue, the one who was hosting it. The music was cranked up a little higher, drowning out the rest of his sentences.

I had no way to get out. Once again, I was in a situation where I couldn't change the predicament. I had nothing to help myself with, nothing to change it with. I rested my head the back of the seat and allowed myself to drift off to sleep, to dream about Collin holding me close and kissing me. God how I wanted that kiss. I wished that he would've fallen in love with me. It would have been nice to be touched by a man that I actually wanted for one in my life.

"Everybody up!" the cold voice shouted. "Take off your blindfolds and get out. You line up and wait by the RV. Anyone moves, everyone dies."


	15. Chapter XIV

**Author's Note: Look at that, I managed to get it done. Make sure to check my profile for the new information coming out in the next couple of days. Happy Reading!**

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**Chapter XIV:****_ Collin's Point of View_**

I tried to take Ryanne's advice. I tried to see Spencer as more than just the little girl that I had always known, the little girl that she'd always been. I tried to see her as a woman, to picture a life with her. I have to admit that, at first, it was impossible. I looked at her and tried to see the womanly curves that I knew she had but it was almost like looking at your mother. I mean, this was Spencer, for Christ's sakes. She was my best friend, the only person that new me before the wolf.

The wolf side of my brain knew that Spencer was more than just a friend. It made it difficult to sleep beside her a night, sometimes. The imprint was supposed to make me whatever she needed me to be. Unfortunately, Spencer didn't need a friend or a brother or anything like what the other imprints had. Spencer needed love and care and devotion. I had to give her that. No matter how much more my wolf demanded, though, I wouldn't give in to it. I settled for staying awake a little longer than necessary every night when she was asleep. It was a creepy thing to do, but one that made me feel better.

I thought I was in control of both sides of my brain when she'd fallen asleep at the barbecue that night. She looked so peaceful with her hair pillowed against my shoulder. The father's of each little family had begun readying their children for bed, leaving me sitting beside Embry. His daughter Lizzie had fallen asleep in his arms. He refused to move, not wanting to wake her until it was time to leave. At least, that was his excuse to act totally whipped and cuddle his little daughter to his chest. "She's the girl you always think about," he said, nodding his chin towards my slumbering mate.

"She is," I agreed, shifting to make sure that she was asleep. She had an uncanny ability to trick me, even with the wolf senses. It was like she was a human possum or something. "Em, can I ask you a question?" I said suddenly. Jake would understand what it felt like to fall in love with your best friend, but everyone knew that he was meant to be with Ryanne. He was just stupid enough not to see it. Embry nodded. "I thought that the imprint didn't make me fall in love, but the more that I'm with her, the more I can feel the wolf in me fighting for her. It's like that side of me wants to fall in love her even when I know that this isn't right," I admitted. Embry chuckled at me and shook his head, looking down at his precious daughter while he tried to figure out his next sentence.

"The wolf side of you is the smart side of you in this case," he laughed again. I frowned at him. Spencer grumbled and slumped a little more. I gently shifted her so that her head was resting in my lap. It was quickly becoming my favorite place to have her. There weren't any bruises or stitches on the side of her that was tucked against my thigh, so I didn't have to worry about her hurting herself. And I was free to pet her hair and keep her calm in the midst of any nightmares she may have. "Seriously, man. The wolf isn't making you fall in love with her. It's showing you the truth."

"You are absolutely insane," I accused.

"Think about it, Collin. The wolf is connected to your most basic instincts. It knows your most fundamental desires and needs. So the man in you may be trying to convince himself that he doesn't love her because he knows that Spencer's involvement in the Pack could put her in danger." I growled at him, the thought of Spencer being in danger causing my arms to quiver with rage. "It's a risk we all take, so calm your balls," Embry hurried on. "While the man in you is convincing himself that he doesn't love her, the wolf in you knows that you do. The Spirits know what the man needs in a mate. The wolf knows what it needs. I think that's why imprinting is supposed to be so rare. It'd be a rare combination of person that could satisfy both sides of us."

Which didn't explain how our Pack had only one unimprinted wolf. "Each girl in our Pack is special, Collin. None of us can deny that. Each girl is so different from any other that exists. It's a miracle that we make a cohesive Pack." We both shared a chuckle at that. "You want my advice, Col?" I nodded eagerly. "Stop fighting your instincts and go with them. You trust them to help you when you're chasing a leech. You trust them to help you protect your family and your Pack. Trust them with this too," he suggested.

I could see everyone getting up to go home then and knew that it was time to get Spencer up and take her home. She was sleeping so deeply, I felt guilty about bringing her to the barbecue. She needed to get her strength up and here I was asking her to stay awake and be interrogated by my surrogate family. I finally managed to rouse her enough to talk to her. "I shouldn't have taken you out tonight," I whispered to her. "You must be so tired."

If I hadn't already been contemplating Embry's statement, Spencer nearly unmanned me with her next statement. "I'll be fine once we're home," she said quietly. My air caught in my lungs, suspended in the air. There it stayed until she was drifting off to sleep again. The quiet sentence thrilled through my bones, warming me to my very core. I may not be in love with her, but Spencer was... She was my _person_. My home was her home. Everything I had belonged to her. I didn't want her anywhere but with me. Never again. Call that love or possessiveness or whatever you wanted. I wasn't in love with her. But I did love her.

If I had known how much that one phrase would effect my heart, I may have plugged my ears that night. Suddenly getting her in the shower was a test of my self control. She wasn't the straight-as-a-board little girl that I remembered. No, she had curves that were outlined by her camisole and underwear, visible to all. At least, until she covered herself in my old shirts that no longer fit and any pair of sweatpants that she could grab. If her femininity wasn't evident to me in her changing and showering, it became abundantly clear to me when I decided to do laundry before patrol and found one of her tattered bras in her little plastic bag of laundry.

I would have to buy her some new things soon. She was too good to be wearing things with holes and duct tape on them. I ran out for patrol after kissing her cheek and promising that I would be back as soon as possible. She muttered something about going for a walk and let me go easily enough. She was accepting this wolf-thing better than I had ever imagined. Any questions that popped into her head, she asked. No matter what the time or question. I answered, hoping that knowledge would give her peace of mind. Now I had more to worry about than that, though.

She was safe with me and getting more and more comfortable by the day. Now I needed to work on healing her. Physically, her wounds were almost gone. Mentally, it could be years before she was unguarded, before she could trust again. I could give her the things that she'd never had. I could buy her to nice clothes now, the new clothes. Maybe a pair of _real_ shoes. We never had those growing up. Only the ones that people threw away and we could find to tape together. Yes; it was settled. I would have to get her some shoes and clothes.

My patrol ended and I sprinted home, eager to talk to her about heading to Olympia or Port Angeles. Not Seattle, though. Never again. Brady nodded to me in his wolf form as he ran to take over my patrol. I bolted into the house now, where I could be alone with her for just a few moments. Living in the house with Brady and having the Pack stop by all the time meant that I was rarely alone with her while we were actually awake. "Spence!" I shouted into the house as I pried the door open. There was no response. "Spencer, are you home?" She was always home by this time.

I walked towards the stairs, thinking that she may have fallen asleep when the scent hit my nose. I scrambled up the stairs, the sticky sweet scent of vampire burning the hairs in my nose and making those on the back of my neck stand up. I almost tripped when I made the sharp turn towards the bedroom. Glass was scattered on the ground around the bed where the window. "Spencer!" I screamed now, gripping the shattered edges and leaning out. My fingers warmed as my blood oozed out of the cuts that I was creating while I searched the outside for some sign that she'd been there.

"What have I done?" I whispered to my self. "I should have protected her." I felt myself crumpling, my guilty eating me alive. Then the fire licked at my stomach, hotter than any other time that I had phased. "I'm coming, Spence," I swore. "I'll make sure that nothing hurts you again."


	16. Chapter XV

**Author's Note: Yay for drama! Just in case I haven't said it lately, I really do love all my readers. You all are lovely. Hugs and kisses all around. Happy Reading!**

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**Chapter XV**

I knew that there was more than just me because of several different things, but now that he'd commanded_ everyone_ out of the RV, I was certain. He must have Tucker and her kids in a separate car. That would be the only thing that made sense from what I'd gathered of his conversation earlier. Looking around, I recognized Seth's oldest son, Jameson. I'd met him at the barbecue. Claire as well. Tucker was no where to be seen, though. I knew that he had her. He'd said something about a separate car and three kids. He had her; I just didn't know where.

Nor did I know what to do about it. One by one, he led us down a flight a stairs, though there was no building around us. Off in the distance, I thought I glimpsed some wood posts, like there used to be an old building standing there. With my sight back, I categorized everything around me. It was mostly rocks, some trees and shrubbery, but there was nothing green. That meant that we were somewhere in the Midwest. Not in Montana or one of the Dakotas, either. This was dryer. Wyoming, Utah... Maybe Idaho.

Jameson cradled Claire to his chest, holding her as tightly as he could. She cried into his neck, her dark skin contrasting with his pale. "It's going to be okay, Claire. You'll see," he whispered to her as we descended the dark staircase into the unknown. I stowed away the memory of mold, the smell of it permeating the entire area. It was cold and dank, most likely concrete. It felt like some kind of tornado shelter. I knew what those were like. That was where Uncle Tom put me when he was in the middle of his "business dealings."

The room that he placed us in was adjacent to another one, I saw that immediately. The next thing I noticed was that it was well lit with a single electronic lightbulb gleaming in the ceiling. It was more modern than what I had been expecting. "Everyone inside," the demon behind us commanded. I marched in first, fear making me stupid. When I was afraid, I had a bad habit of just doing what I was told. I would make the best hostage in the world, though. As long as I was frightened, I would always do as I was told.

I curled myself in the corner, like I would have if I was in Uncle Tom's shelter. That was where the most warmth was; at least, that's what I'd found. The corer gave little comfort but if you sat still long enough, you would practically feel the other two walls curving around you to keep you warm. "You're Spencer, right?" James asked when the door was pulled closed. I nodded, worried about speaking. The last thing that I needed was for this monster to kill them because I hadn't done as I was told. "I'm Jay. We met at the barbecue." I nodded again. "Listen to me, it's going to be okay. Seth is going to be coming for us. My sister and her boyfriend will come after us. It's going to be okay."

Collin would come after me this time. He didn't know where I was any better than he did last time, but I felt it in my core. He would come for me. This time I wasn't going to let him tell me that he didn't love me that way. This time, when he found me, I was going to make him see that I was the person that he was meant to be with.

Jay sank slowly down to the floor, cradling the little girl in his lap. I heard him begin to hum to her, the steady thrum calming me for just a moment. The moment was gone, though, when the door was thrust open some time later. Tucker pushed a strolled in front of her, a howling infant in her arms. Her younger brother jumped to his feet, taking the stroller into the room with his foot. Tucker's eyes met mine and then flitted back to her brother, a motherly gaze there for all of us. She pressed one finger up to her lips to tell us to be quiet before saying, "Spencer, take my boy."

I grabbed the infant from her, holding him tightly to my chest. His eyes met mine, a trust filling them that I had only ever felt for one other person. I wanted Collin to find me. I needed to tell him that I trusted him, to show him that I was right person for him. After all, the Spirits wouldn't have chosen me as his imprint if I wasn't. As the thought built in my brain, the baby I was holding conformed himself to my chest, resting his precious little face against my shoulder. Before I could get to Collin, I had to protect these little things in this room. I knew what pain, true pain, felt like. I could take it and protect them. I couldn't change our situation; I wasn't strong enough for that. But I could shield them.

"What do you want from us?" Tucker snarled at the monster. "If what you said about your wife is true, then let the rest of them go. They're just kids."

"I want your wolves," the cold thing replied. Jameson was confused, but said nothing. Fear built in my heart. Fear for the innocent lives in this room first. And then fear for Collin, worry that he would die when he got here. "This will teach them a very valuable lesson."

"How will they even know we're gone?" Tucker retorted. She glanced a look at Jay and then at me. Her eyes begged me to listen to her, pleaded with me to stay silent. She had nothing to worry about there. "Collin doesn't even know that Spencer is back in town. She's been gone for a few days now," she lied without skipping a beat. "Quil only sees Claire every once in a while. Whenever he can. He wouldn't know that she was missing," she continued. "I was leaving for the rest of the day. Seth won't know where I've gone. And he won't know to come after us. You can't keep us all here. They won't know that any of us are gone." The woman was a master at lying. "If you want them to know, then you should let the kids go. Spencer is barely seventeen." I frowned, unsure if she was lying or if she really didn't know. "She's still a kid. Jay is still a boy. Claire and the others..." Her voice seemed to break. "Just look at them. You want to punish our boys, then fine."

Don't punish our boys, I begged. Please don't let him hurt my Collin. "But let them go and tell the boys where to find us, she concluded. The thing standing in front of us actually seemed to be considering it. My heart thumped in my chest, joy and hope burgeoning within me.

"You think you're so smart, don't you?" Hope was gone. "But what makes you think that I don't already have a plan? Maybe I have ways for them to know."

"But you don't." I couldn't tell whether Tucker was bluffing or not anymore. "You don't know enough about them to know how to get a message to them. Her left arm flung out behind her and waved me towards her brother. I looked up at him, but all he did was nod at me. Once I was standing close enough to him, he dropped little Claire to her feet and pressed the two of us behind him.

"You really do think you know everything, don't you?" He barked a laugh. "If I just wanted their families, why would I need you and the other whiny bitch there?" he snarled. "I mean, other than for my pleasures. I need her here for the moment, but when she's worn out her usefulness, I'll find something to do with her." Probably eat me, like he said he wanted to. I need the brat boy here to take care of those children you brought along." James growled. "But you, I need you for a different purpose all together. So you are coming with me."

Just like that, he took her from us. I heard her promise that everything was going to be okay, but I couldn't believe her. Not with that monster holding her, dragging her away from us. And it most certainly didn't help when the monster came back a good time later. "Who was writing notes in the RV?" he demanded. "You were trying to communicate. And it was in _your_ seat," he snarled, pointing an icy finger at Jay. "Who was it?"

"Me," I squeaked, placing the baby I was holding in the stroller with his brother and sister. I had never held an infant before. I like it, the warmth, the trust. "I waited until we stopped to throw them over to Jay's side," I lied. "I didn't want to get in trouble."

He raised his eyebrows at me. Jay opened his mouth but I shook my head at him. "I guess you'll just have to come with me then," he said, closing a hand tight around me and pulling me to the door. "I told you to be a good listener."


	17. Chapter XVI

**Author's Note: Okay, all, see my profile for the new update timetable. Happy Reading!**

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**Chapter XVI**

Fear welled up inside of me, but it was overridden by my need to observe. The door that we came out of was quickly slammed shut. Beside it was another door, with a little slot in it. It was a wider than a mail slot. But where he was leading me was another little room. The doors on each room differed. The one with the slot was made of some thick metal. The one where we'd been stuck was wooden, thick and heavy and old. This one that was standing before me was almost like a concrete slab that had been erected to close off the room.

"Sid," he called out when we entered the room. "I brought you a little present," he announced. The man in front of me was clearly Hispanic, a scar pinching the skin from his upper lip to a few inches away from his nostril. "She didn't listen well to me." He grinned, the skin straining against his scar. "You cannot kill her. We need her alive." He nodded, that same smile still etched on his face. I was practically shivering with fear. Plucking the cigarette from his mouth, he blew the air out over me. I coughed, and brush my hand in front of my face to make the smoke go away. "Have your fun though." He laughed and place the burnt little stub on the wooden table.

I wanted to look back, to see if maybe the door had been left open. I wanted to make a break for it. But I couldn't; I couldn't because I didn't know how to take care of those kids. I could take whatever pain was brought upon me though. Jay would have to take care of those babies. I could take care of this part of it. "What a beautiful girl," the man said, his accent evident. "We used to have girls like you in the gang." He would have to be in a gang. "Prettier than the little thing I had to drive all this way. Do you know how long I've been in the car? He picked me up in California!"

"I had nothing to do with that," I whispered. "Neither did those kids in there. Please, help us get out. We shouldn't be here. We should e home. Those kids should be home."

"I don't care about the niños," he laughed. "I'm here for the money." I licked my lips and blinked the tears away. I wasn't going to cry. I had only cried a few times since I'd been taken from Collin. I wasn't going to do that now. "You should come in here, sweetheart," he chuckled again. I took the hesitant step closer to the abyss, trying to stay strong. I had spent my entire life pretending to be something that I wasn't. I could pretend to be strong for just a few more minutes. "Against the wall," he commanded, nodding his head towards the wall in the bag.

There were miles and miles of rope smiling at me, promising pain. Anything would be better than having him touch me, though. I'd been there. I'd done that. I don't even think that Collin knew about all that. And Collin knew _everything_ about me. I shivered when I felt his hand slide across my shoulders. "Turn around, pretty," he breathed into my ears. I could feel my eyes watering already. This was my natural reaction every single time. I pressed my chest into the stone wall and rested my hands just on top of my belly button. One deep breath. Just one.

I needed one deep breath to steady myself. My eyes slid shut and I licked my lips. I had to keep my eyes on the prize. I was protecting kids, protecting innocent people. I was doing what I'd told Collin I'd wanted to do since I was a little kid. Collin.

My heart wept for him. I wanted to convince him that I loved him and that I was perfect for him. I couldn't do that without being the person that I told him I wanted to be. Not without trusting him. Not without putting on this brave mask and saving the day. I needed to get through this. Collin needed me to become the person that we talked about. "You, little girl, are quite beautiful," he continued. His hand started to glide down my back, towards my backside. My eyes flew open and I looked skyward, begging for something, anything. An answer. "Do you want to know what I want from you?" he asked. I licked my lips again and decided that it was time to be strong. At least, pretend to be strong. So I shook my head. His hand slithered around my throat, squeezing just a little bit and turning me around.

"You will not touch me," I said as forcefully as I could manage. He backed up and grabbed the cigarette off the table. He took a drag from the rolled tobacco, blowing the smoke in my face. My back was pressed against the stone wall, my heart pounding in my chest. He lifted his eyes to meet mine and I jerked my chin up a notch to convey a confidence that I didn't have. He cocked his eyebrow at me and I wet my lips again. "You will not touch me," I repeated.

"You think so, huh?" he laughed at me. He took the bud of his cigarette between his fingers again. "You know what I think?" He kept one hand tight around my throat now, waving the cigarette in front of my face. "I think that you're not quite as strong as you want me to think," he said. "Now I can find a place to put this ciggy, or you can give me what I want." I pursed my lips together in a flat line and narrowed my eyes. "Okay, sweetheart. You asked for it." He lowered his hand toward the tender skin in my forearm.

I felt the heat of the bud against my skin and steeled myself for the pain. I'd been burned before, but never somewhere visible. Never somewhere that people would see it while I was clothed. "Last warning, gringa," he said. I did nothing. He pressed the end down. It singed the hair off of my arm before it hit the skin. I couldn't stop the squeal and squeak that reverberated in my throat, but I could shut them down before they grew too loud. He held it there until it was a black circle against my skin. "Did that feel good?" he asked.

"I'm not going to let you touch me," I said with surety that I didn't feel.

"Let's play a game," he said, his accent turning the word. "I will burn every place that I would rather kiss until you give me what I want." _Bring it,_ I silently dared in my head. "I don't want to hurt this pretty little face. I'll start somewhere else. You'll be begging for me to give it to you before I'm done." He thumb pressed against the vein in my neck, petting and stroking it like some kind of cat. I shivered and his throaty laugh. The bud found the dip in my collarbone, providing the same kind effect as the earlier burn had. I began to whimper, but bit down on my tongue to keep another sound from escaping.

"Stubborn little thing, huh?" But he was groaning. He brushed his lip across the bridge of my nose. I couldn't stop myself from raising my hand and slapping his straight across the face. He balked and dropped his hold on my neck. I gasped for the sweet air that I had been deprived of for longer than I thought. I hadn't realized that his hand had been constricting my airway until he let go. So I sucked in the air, greedy to get some while I still could. A string of Spanish curses that I couldn't even try to pronounce hit me.

His curled fist smacked across my face, hitting the inner bridge of my nose with his knuckle. My head was tossed to the side with the force of the blow. "You little bitch," he growled. His hand fisted around my shirt and kept me hauled up to his face. His fist hit me again... and again... and again. I couldn't see out of the eye, but I could feel the pain blinding me, feel something warm and wet trickling down my face. "Why you got to be so stubborn, bitch?" he asked quietly. The tone sent another run of tremors down my spine.

"You won't touch me," I murmured. "You won't touch me and you won't hurt those kids."

"Let's just see how you feel about that when I'm done with you," he growled.

"That's enough!" The monster growled loud enough to be heard. "Bring her back to the others. She's had enough today."

"I'm not done with her," the man complained, drawing his hand smoothly over my cheeks.

"I'm paying you. You're done. Bring her back to the other room." I was half dragged to the other room.

Jay grabbed Claire and propped her on his hip, pulling the stroller behind him to protect his nephews and niece. I was shoved inside, but didn't have the strength to stand. The door slammed shut while I crumpled to the floor. "You shouldn't have done that," Jay whispered. Claire was playing with the kids in front of their stroller, making silly faces and noises. "I could have handled it."

"They need you," I muttered. "Let me just get some sleep. Then I can help you out."

"Take all the time you need, Spencer," he replied. I dropped my cheek onto my shoulder, feeling the warmth of something settle on my upper body. "Thanks, Spencer. You saved the day."


	18. Chapter XVII

**Author's Note: Okay, all, I know that I'm late tonight. I'm running behind today. I'm kind of out of it. Sorry, but I hope you all enjoy!**

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**Chapter XVII:****_ Collin's Point of View_**

I sprinted out of the house and phased immediately, bolting through the forest. _I need help!_ I shouted at whoever was phased. _Spencer's gone. My house smells like leech ad I can't find Spencer anywhere._ My heart pounded in my chest, threatening to kill me. _The window to our bedroom is broken._ **Our** bedroom. She was mine, damn it. _I need help. I have to find her._

_I can't find Tucker or the kids, either,_ Seth's voice told me. _Is this the smell?_ The sticky sweet smell with just a tiny hint of something animalistic filled my nostrils, though it wasn't me that had smelled it. I nodded curtly. _I think that he has Jay, too. The smell crosses with Jay's._

_He's after imprints, then,_ Paul announced. Had he been there the entire time while I was freaking out? _I'm going to run by Ryanne and Jake's. He needs to know about this. You two go and start talking to the other wolves. _Why did I need to go and check on someone else's imprint? I wanted mine. _Find out if anyone else is missing their imprint. Let's get going._ He was right. We needed to know who had been taken. I couldn't be completely selfish, even if Spencer was my primary concern.

I listed everyone in my head, figuring that I would go as quick as I could. I started with Leah, but only found Nate playing with his son on the front porch while Leah watched from a rocking chair. So I turned the opposite way to try and find Jared and Kim. Unfortunately, I found her and Jared screaming at each other in their kitchen. At least he had an imprint to yell at. Sam and Emily, always the most affectionate couple, were cuddled in their porch swing when I stopped by their house, a bassinet in front of them. _Who have you got?_ Seth shouted.

_Yeah, I've only got Quil left, _I said to stop him from running without reason. I just wanted to get to tracking, to find my best friend.

_No you don't,_ Quil said softly._ I'm here. I can't find Claire._ My heart sank as I put the pieces together. It was the three of us that had killed that vamp all those weeks ago. He'd said something about a brother and none of us had bothered to listen. _I was supposed to pick her up today. Her parents said that she was at the beach with her friends, but she's not there. I can't find her anywhere. _My heart started sinking a little lower. If this monster was willing to go so far as to take kids and infants... Where would he stop? _And there's a vamp at the Makah reservation. I know that it's silly, but I'm worried._

_You should be,_ Seth snapped, making my heart dip even lower. _Tucker and the kids are missing. And Collin can't find Spencer._ I was going find Spencer. And then I was never going to let her go again. Seth announced that he was going to head to Fork and try to find Spencer, or some trail. _She's not here,_ he said after a great while._ And I don't know where else she could be. The car's here. It's cold._ His anger was building in his chest. _She hasn't touched it in hours. She wouldn't just _**_run_**_ from me. She wouldn't do this to her kids. She loves me._

_We all know that, _I jumped in before Seth lost any part of himself to the anger. We'd seen what that'd done to Jake when Ryanne had disappeared. Even those of us who weren't part of the Pack saw the memories. _Just like we know that Spencer loves me and Claire loves Quil. The point isn't the our imprints do or don't love us. We're talking about the fact hat our girls are missing._

_My _**_family_**_ is missing, _Seth screamed.

_We know! _Quil jumped in, since my little speech hadn't helped. _No one is trying to belittle your pain or anything/ Seth, sitting there and complaining will do nothing for you._**_ Nothing_**_._ He was right about that. We couldn't sit here and talk about our pain while our girls, our families, could be in pain. _We need to go and find our girls, find your family. We can just sit around here or we can actually do something and be proactive._ I nodded my agreement. _Collin, you try and trace the vampire's smell. Seth, you find Jay's scent and track him. Figure out how far he got. I don't care if he was with the vampire or not. You figure out how far he got before you lose his smell. Jake and Jared will run patrol. _At least we had Quil to level us out._ I'm heading to Makah to track Claire as far as I can. Maybe we'll find a meeting spot where he took all the kids._

I didn't even bother to agree or disagree. I shoved my nose into the dirt and inhaled the sweet smell that was Spencer. UntilI ran into Seth. _This is where Spencer's trail ends,_ I whispered.

_Claire's too. What about Jay's?_

_Jays ends, but Tucker's is still over by the grocery store._

_There's no point,_ Quil pointed out. _We already know that she's with them. Now we jut have to figure out where._

We probably wouldn't have figured out where without Seth's pseudo little brother. After shredding what smelled like his gym shirt and leaving us a trail, he'd even found away to leave us a note in the dingy bathroom of a small gas station. It almost made me feel bad for the way that I treated Seth when he'd called. "Where the hell are you man?" I'd snarled. He'd been gone way longer than I would have been gone. I wasn't going to sleep well until I had Spencer with me again.

_"I found them,"_ he'd replied. My heart leapt. My imprint was safe.

"Where? Is Spencer there? Is she okay?"

_"I didn't find them like that,"_ he quickly explained about the note that he'd found and all of that. My heart was devastated, but at least it was one more piece to the puzzle. We were getting closer.

Closer still when we found a note to Seth from Jay in some Safeway store in a small town in Utah. _Seth, Not in a house. Underground. Don't know where. With T, Sp., Cl. & kids. All OK. Sun rises by spot. J_.

"A little less descriptive than his last note," Quil grumbled. I barely held my growl back, feeling like Quil had no reason to be so ungrateful.

"Give the kid some credit. Probably the best he could do being watched by a vampire," I snarled. I owed the kid everything. He was the whole reason that we'd made it all the way here. "He's doing the best he can. And without this shit," I added, grabbing the paper and waving it under Quil's nose, "we wouldn't know where they were or if they were okay."

"But what does he mean when he talks about the sun?" Quil growled instead of realizing what this boy was giving us.

"He's trying to tell us where they are," Seth whispered. I frowned at him, still confused. "They've got to be in this city or the next one over. The parasite would leave our imprints and kids unattended in case any of them tried to escape." I wanted weep because I knew Spencer would never try to escape. She was a master at accepting her situation and moving on. "He would have to be close by. These towns are small enough tat they wouldn't have many places to go," he explained. "Jay is trying to tell us that they're east."

East? How did Seth get east out of the damned less, than descriptive note.

"Wherever they are, he's seen the sunrise from there," he added. It clicked in my brain.

"They're underground. How can he see the sunrise?" Quil, who had been our source of strength a few days ago was starting to drive me crazy. "That boy of your's may be smart, but damn if he didn't leave us one hell of a riddle." It was true, technically. Jay had said that they were underground. So then... How did he see sunrise?

"When the leech let him out. The parasite wouldn't want there to be a lot of people, in case Jay told that he was kidnapped." This boy was smarter than I had ever been at his age. "If he took him before sunrise, Jay would have seen it rising from here. If he took him after sunrise, maybe your kids was able to see if when they were leaving." Seth nodded towards me. "He's already proven that he's smart, Quil. He's the only thing getting us to our imprints. So have a little faith," I snarled.

"We're getting close to them," Seth agreed. "We don't have time to sleep. We need to get food and get going." I nodded. "We need to head east. The three of us can take down any vampire if it's just one." Hell, I would take on a whole army for Spencer.

"And if it's more than that? I know you want your family, Seth. I'm worried about Claire, too, but we need to think rationally?"

Who gave two fucks what was rational? I had been feeling ghost pains that belonged to Spencer for days now. I wanted to find her, to get her safe. "It is rational. Even if it's an army the size of the Volturi, I'll kill every single one," I snapped. "Would you rather lose Claire because you wanted to rest up first? Is that how much you care about your imprint?"

"You little fuck," Quil spat.

"Stop, you two," Seth jumped in. "We all care about our imprints." I nodded. "And each other. There is no argument there. We _can_ argue about resting or fighting after we find them. But we have to find them first. We have to make sure that they're okay before we do anything else. So let's eat and get going."

I don't think I chewed any of my food. I wanted Spencer. I may not be in love with her... But I would be. I would make it happen. She deserved safety and I couldn't give it to her. But I was going to give her everything that I could. She needed to know that she was loved by me. "We head east," Quil said after all the food was gone. I nodded alongside Seth.

"I didn't mean what I said," I whispered. I'd never been one for apologies.

"Tensions are high," Quil agreed. "My imprint at least that I love her. You lose Spencer, you'll never be able to tell her."

"If I lose Spencer, I'll die."


	19. Chapter XVIII

**Author's Note: Okay, here's the next chapter. Let me know what you guys think, please. I love the reviews. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XVIII**

I slept until I heard the door being scraped open again. No matter how much it hurt, I shoved myself upright once again. "It's okay," Jay was quick to assure me. "They're just bringing us food. It's about that time of the day, I think," he whispered. Still, I leaned back against the wall and waited. Food was dropped into the room, the metal tin that it was on rattling as it hit the ground. "There's two sandwiches," he said. "Claire and I can split one. You need something to eat after the day you've had." I shook my head.

"I need just need some water," I promised. "You and Claire eat." He must have seen determination glinting in my eyes because he let the entire thing drop. He handed Claire a sandwich and a juice box, but took the water bottle for himself and handed me the other pouch. I shook my head and reached for the water, but Jay shook his head too.

"You need some sugar in you, Spencer. Please, drink it. It'll make me feel better about things," he said. I agreed, albeit reluctantly. I didn't need to be taken care of anymore, but if it would calm him down, then I would do it. "Claire-bear, eat your sandwich. You have to." She frowned and complained about mayonnaise on her food. She ate, though I think it had something to do with the stern gaze Jay was giving her.

After a few minutes, Claire stopped eating and bounced to my side. "When I get hurt, Quil always buys me ice cream. It makes me feel better every single time. Since we don't have ice cream, I can share my sandwich with you." I smiled at the little girl, but shook my head again. "Would that man have hurt me if you hadn't gone with him?" she asked. I shook my head quickly. But Jay jumped in and told her that the man would have hurt them all. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you for doing that for us." I shrugged against and laid myself down a little more. "You didn't drink a lot of juice," she whispered.

"I'm not very thirsty," I replied. "Just wake me up when something else happens." The little girl nodded again and let me rest, though I could tell none of them were too happy about it. I could go days without food and it wouldn't do anything to me. It would be just like being at home with Uncle Tom. I could protect these people; I could take care of the in the best way that I knew how. I could take the pain.

"I told you!" the thickly accented voice shouted a while later, "to make them stop crying," he growled. I pried my eyes open in time to see Jay press his hand over the mouths of the little ones. "Or I will have to _make_ them stop crying." I didn't know if I could deal with being burned again... But I guess I would have to. It was the only way that I could protect the again. Jay managed to get the kids quieted again.

"It was me," I said, struggling to my feet. "I was crying." The man looked at me with a puzzled expression. "I couldn't resist pissing you off." I spat hard, the remnants of juice in my mouth mingling with my spit and slopping against the floor loudly. He grabbed my arm and tugged me back towards the room that we'd been in earlier. "So easy to make angry," I said when he threw me in the small room. "Men like you get angry and force yourselves on girls like me because you lack something, right?" he growled. I knew that I was provoking him. I knew that it wasn't my best move either. But if I had him and he was occupied with me then he would ignore the kids.

I received another round of beatings, but he didn't try to rape me or use me for his pleasure. They let me see Spencer some time later. She'd looked so scared when she'd seen me that I was almost afraid to ask what I looked like. She looked like shit, too. Her lips were dry and cracked. Her skin looked like parchment. But all she'd done was thanked me for taking care of her family. At the end of our conversation, though, they'd just dragged me away. I hurt everywhere. I felt like I was worse off than I had been when I got back to La Push.

I gave up on living especially when the same routine kept happening. At the end of every night I was dragged to the room. Every morning, when he came into the little room to complain about Jay knocking on the walls or the babes crying or about something that Claire did. I lost track of the days as I started to take blame for anything and everything that I could. The night after Claire had been banging on the walls, though, the man didn't bring me back into the room. "I've had enough of your teasing," he said in his accent. "I'll give you the night to think about what you want to do with me tomorrow. Good night, gringa."

He kissed my cheek softly and closed the door, settling himself in the chair by the door and closing his eyes. When he was finally asleep, I wretched, emptying my stomach of its contents and praying for an end. I sighed and thought about Collin. That got me through all the pain. Even if I died, which I was determined _not_ to do, I needed to see Collin one last time. I was going to kiss him senseless, until he knew just how much I really loved him. I just needed to kiss him. That was my dream, what I thought about when I drifted off to sleep that night. At least, I thought it was night. Jay had been the only one allowed to leave. He'd gone to the store to get food for the babies a few times. Those were the only times that I made the effort to stay in the little room with the kids.

"Spencer?" the voice whispered. I groaned. When had he learned my name? Tears started to dribbled down my cheeks, unbidden and unwelcome. "Spencer are you here somewhere?" Collin? My heart leapt at the thought of being safe again. "Spencer where are you?" The walls weren't whisper thin. In fact, I knew that they weren't because none of the little ones ever heard me when my control slipped and I ended up crying out. Jay would have said something. I liked that little kid. He was strong, stronger than I had ever been at his age. He was fighting for his nephews and nieces, fighting for his friends, trying to take care of me.

"Where is she?" I heard a moan. She's not in there. Little Claire shouted, which meant that the tone had to be loud. The man in the room snored away. "She's not in there." It was Collin. I could hear him. "Spencer!" I wanted to scream back, but the drunk in the room was slumbering peacefully. If I woke him, I could kill myself. What good would I be then? There was the tearing sound of a door being ripped away, but it wasn't my door. There was no light that flood the small space that I was in. There was only the dim glow of the bulb that was flickering in the center if this room.

"Spencer," the plea tore through my heart. I clamped my jaw shut and turned away from the door. If he kept calling for me, I was going to call back. It was a miracle that this man had slept this long. I couldn't jeopardize the people that I'd been trying to protect. The door creaked. The man's snores stopped. Everything seemed to happen in some kind of slow motion. I saw the broad shoulders that I'd been longing to see stoop into the room.

The little Mexican man was hauled up by what would have been the scruff of his neck, if he was the dog that I saw him as. I couldn't be sure whether he lived or died, only that he was gone in a flash. "Spencer, it's me," Collin muttered. His voice trembled just as much as his limbs as he approached. He looked wonderful, like every dream that I'd conjured up but a million times better. He may be a little grungy, a little worn, a little exhausted, but he was my Collin. He was hear with me. "Spencer, say something. Please!" he begged.

"Collin," I breathed.

"No, no, no, Spencer, don't do this to me," he continued. Don't do what? I was just trying to say hi to him. I just wanted him. "Spencer, please. You can't leave me. I am sorry that I wasn't there for you. I'm so sorry that I didn't protect you. Please, don't leave me. Please, please _please_ don't go, Spencer. Don't do this to me." He took another step closer to me. His touch ricocheted through me faster than I thought it would have. It brought warmth and peace and love...

And darkness.


	20. Chapter XIX

**Author's Note: I know I've bee MIA for the last couple of days. I have been really sick. Every time that I thought I had a handle on things, I just got sick all over again. Anyways, I'm back now. Remember that there are no Sunday chapters, so no updates tomorrow. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XIX:****_ Collin's Point of View_**

"Spencer, it's me," I breathed. She looked worse than she had when she got to La Push. How had this happened to her? How had I let this happen. "Spencer, say something," I pleaded with her. "Please." Her mouth opened like she was going to whisper something, like she was going to say anything. Her shoulders slumped then, her head falling against her shoulder. "No, no, no Spencer." I was frozen in my spot, though my brain screamed at me to grab her. How could I have done this to her? "Don't do this to me." She was always the person to go to when you needed something; when _I_ needed something. "Spencer, please. You can't leave me. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you," I began to babble. "I'm so sorry that I didn't protect you. Please don't leave me. Please, please,_ please_ don't go, Spencer. Don't do this to me." I shook her lightly.

Touching her seemed to give her a sense of peace, like it was okay for her to die now. Her eyes dropped shut like a window slamming closed. Her entire body went slack, almost falling off of the chair that she was sitting in. "No, Spencer, no!" I noticed Quil look in on me, as if to make sure that I found my imprint. I turned away, embarrassed at the tears that I knew where welling up in my eyes. I clutched her thin, battered form to my chest, resting her head in the juncture between my shoulder and my neck. "This never should have happened to you, Spencer. God, I'm so sorry." I looked down at the various circular burns on her forearms, at the split in her eyebrow, at the blood dripping from her thigh.

Her warm breath washed over my neck. I was lost, for a brief moment, in the joy of knowing that she was still alive. Somehow, she had survived. Then a need to rip the vampire apart exploded in my chest. I need only look at the beauty that was my imprint and the state that she was in to feel the fire blazing. Gently, I laid Spencer down on the concrete, peeling her filthy sweater from her body to use as a pillow. I cupped her cheek in my hand, taking little heart in the way that her head flopped against my palm. "I'm going to make this better, Spencer," I promised her.

I caught sight of the vampire, standing in the hallway with his hand tight around Tucker's throat. He hadn't noticed me, by the looks of things. What was worse, he was laughing at something that one of the guys was saying. In that moment, I was overcome with rage. I growled and roared, the sound so angry and animalistic, I could tell that it was more from the wolf than it was from me. In a flash, I was tearing Tucker from the leech's undead arms, thrusting her towards my Pack brothers. I could feel myself coming close to phasing, the desire the wolf-out and rip his head from his neck almost overwhelming.

"Collin, you can't phase," Quil hissed. Seth wrapped his arms around the creature from behind while Quil peeled my fingers from the man's collar. He laughed at us. "What are you laughing at?" Quil demanded. "You do realize what you've done, right? You've brought hell onto yourself. You shouldn't be laughing. You should be begging for our forgiveness," he growled. Seth began pushing the leech's head to the side. He gave a scream of pain as the crack formed in his neck.

"I'm part of the Volturi, you idiots. You come after me, you'll be asking for another war," he laughed. "My name is Demetri. I'm important to them. I'm their tracker. You kill me, they'll come after you."

"We've already won once before," I snarled. "If you don't think that the Cullens will stand with us against you're precious _Volturi_ then you're wrong. Not that it matters. Like Quil said, you brought this on yourself." Yet, he continued laughing. "What do you find funny? Maybe my friend here didn't make this clear enough: you're going to die."

"Not before you do," he snarled. Seth had moved us down into another room, the room that I think he'd found Tucker in. A nasty smelly substance boiled on the small stove in the far corner. Before I knew what he was doing, the leech carved into Seth's flesh with his fingernail. Seth shouted out in surprise. The parasite turned him so that Seth's blood dripped into the mixture. "You should have heard your mate," he spat at Seth. "She told me the whole story: Taha Aki, Utlapa, the war, the potion. It was the only way that I would save her precious _family_," he mocked.

I was confused, especially when he shoved free of the three of us and grabbed the pot by the hand. "She even gave me the recipe to this potion to kill you all," he added. He poured the scalding syrupy mixture over the three of us. It burned, causing me to scream, but the burns began to heal themselves as the mixture cooled over our skins. Then I was able to laugh. Tucker had told him nothing more than bullshit to protect her family and friends. She hadn't given us up. She'd saved everyone.

Quil sprang from his position and grabbed the monster's arms. Seth nodded at me, prompting me to take one from my brother. "Unfortunately, for you," Seth began, "immortality hasn't taught you not to be tricked by a good story telling. My imprint lied to you. There is no way to kill us. She made up a story to get you comfortable." Seth put his hands on the monster's face and. "Boys, rip his arms off." Quil nodded to me, pulling hard so that the limb came apart from the torso. I did the same, relishing in the startled scream that escaped the undead. "You should never have touched our imprints. You have a quarrel with the wolves, you come after the wolves."

There was nothing more to be said. Seth pulled up, is knuckled white with the force of his grip. The man silenced almost immediately as his head body dropped to the floor. "Put the head and arms in that wood burning stove, there," Seth commanded. "We'll get the others out and burns this place down to nothing." Quil and I nodded, though I suspected that Quil wanted to keep his arm as a trophy.

I thrust the limb I was holding at him. "I need to get back to Spencer. She's... She's pretty beat up," I admitted. The two of them nodded at me, letting me take off back down the dimly lit hallway. The Mexican man that I had found sleeping in the room with Spencer groaned as he began to rouse. I gave a swift kick in the gut, causing him to grunt and curl up in a ball again. If he wasn't human, I would have killed him the second that I found him with Spencer. God only knows what portion of her destruction he'd been responsible. "Spencer," I whispered when I got over the threshold. "Can you hear me, Spence?"

She looked dead. Her normally honey toned skin ashen and almost white. Her hands were lying by her side, right where I had left them. Cautiously, I crossed the room and knelt down beside her. "You cannot die, Spencer," I informed her. "You have so much life left in you, Spencer." She still hadn't moved. Her chest had risen or fallen. She was just lying there. Fear pulsed through me. I pressed two fingers against her neck.

The moment I felt nothing, my heart stopped. "No, Spencer," I sobbed. I felt the tear escape my eye and I didn't care. Why did I need to be manly? I had just lost the only thing that I had ever cared about. "Spencer, please come back for me," I begged her, pressed our foreheads against each other. There were so many things that I was going to miss. "You can't die, Spencer. Who else is going to make fun of me when I put _just_ sugar in my coffee in the morning?" I asked her. There was still nothing.

I released her hands and neck and began trying to pump her heart. I could get it beating again. She had to live. "Who else is going to tease me for snoring louder than a bull? Brady and I need you, Spence. You keep our house going. Things haven't been this great at our house ever. And it's all because of you, Spencer. We need you. Please." I stopped trying to restart her heart and went back to checking her pulse.

There was no movement against my fingers. She wasn't coming back. I had lost her. I would never see her smile never feel her warm body pressed into me while she was sleeping. I would never - -

I loved her. How had I never seen it before? I _loved_ her with everything in me. She was dead and I was only figuring this out now. No, I wouldn't lose her now. I pressed my hands over each other and began the steady rhythm against her chest again, taking caution not to break her ribs. "Spencer, please come back. Forget Brady. _I _need you. I need you to remind me that things can get better, to give me something to fight for. I need you because I love you, Spencer." I hear a solid thud. "Do you hear me, Spencer?" I demanded, slamming into her heart again. "I love you!" I pressed my fingers against her neck.

And felt the thready thrum of her pulse.


	21. Chapter XX

**Author's Note: And I was doing so well keeping to my timetable for you guys. I'm really sorry that it's late, but here it is. Happy reading!**

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**Chapter XX**

I could feel myself floating, like I was lying in a heat pool. There was no pain, no worries, no fears. Sadly, there was no Collin, either. I struggled against the water that was holding me down. I couldn't feel. I couldn't think. I couldn't move. I could feel hot saltiness dripping into the water, occasionally hitting my skin. It burned and stung, but I still couldn't react. I could feel myself drifting along, floating away. I was bobbing along. I could feel pain somewhere, but it wasn't effecting me. It was safe here, like when I'd found Collin for the first time.

A fist beat against my chest. I felt that sure enough. My heart gave a mighty thump. I gasped roughly and tried to sit myself up, but it hurt. "It's okay, Spencer. It's okay. Stay still. You'll hurt yourself if you don't listen to me," his angelic voice whispered. God it was so good to hear his voice. "I know that you're hurting, Spencer." The pain was back, a million times worse than it had been when I was floating. "I'm going to make it a little worse," he added. His hot hand brushed over my swollen cheek.

"I have to pick you up, Spencer. If I don't, you'll die. I'm going to take you home, Spencer. I'm going to get you to a doctor. I promise," he whispered. I felt his arms wrap around my waist and haul me up. I screamed out in the pain of moving. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart," he said quietly. "I don't want to hurt you. Not anymore than what you've been through." I felt myself being surrounded by the warmth and smell that _was _Collin. "Come on," he said quietly. I could feel myself bouncing in the air again as we walked.

"Collin," I muttered. He hushed me again and tugged me closer. "Sorry," I breathed now. I was sorry that I wasn't strong enough to fight the man off. I was sorry that I hadn't stopped the man from hurting Tucker. I was sorry that there was a good chance that I was never going to be able to show him how much I loved him. I was sorry that I was hurting him by dying. His fingers tightened over me, but instead of feeling pain I felt only comfort. It was good to know that he was here.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Collin replied. "You saved everyone, Spencer. You are the whole reason that we're surviving." I felt more heat, a circle of it pressed against my forehead. "You trust me, right Spence?" I gave a tired nod. "Okay. If you just relax I promise you that I'm going to get you out of here. I swear," he vowed. I shuddered in his arm and let my head fall against his shoulder. He apologized again and again until the sound of his voice ceased to mean anything. It was just comforting. It was just... nice.

The next thing that I was aware of was that we were sitting in a car. I pried my eyes open to reveal a felt ceiling with tan fabric. There was cool air blowing on me, but I couldn't feel it. For the first time since I'd gotten to this vampire's place, I felt warm and safe. I lifted my gaze a little more to meet the strong set of Collin's jaw. His head was leaned back, his arms wrapped tight around me. His hair was wavy and soft, blowing lightly in the breeze from the air conditioning.

"Collin," I tried to call, but my voice sounded like sandpaper. I watched his eyes flutter open. He ducked his gaze down to me, his dark eyes meeting mine. He smiled at me then, his teeth brilliantly white against the darkness around the car. He reached down to my leg and tightened something there before his hand traveled back up to my face. He brushed my hair away from my face, tucking them behind my ear to hold them steady. I could feel the ridges of a braid pressing into my spine. Why had he done that? I couldn't. My arms hurt too much to put them above my head.

"You're awake," he said stupidly. I nodded, feeling exhausted. "I was worried you weren't going to wake up after all the blood loss. We had a belt on your thigh, but I don't want to stop at the hospital before we get home. We don't need there to be any questions." I understood. "Dr. Cullen, the doctor who treated you before, said that you should be able to make it all the way back to Forks. He's waiting for us when we get home." Home. It sounded so nice to be able to go home.

I lifted my head enough to look around. The little girl Claire was sitting in the front seat, though I'm sure that she was too little to legally be up there. Quil was driving. The three carseats that had been locked into the stroller I'd seen were locked into the proper places in the car. Beside me was Jay, though he was leaning up against Seth. His eyes were closed, his mouth slacked open. I wondered how long it had been since he'd actually slept. Probably about as long as it'd been for me. Seth was sitting beside Jay, holding a sleeping Tucker in his arms.

"Let's get you some water," Collin said, tipping my chin back I his direction. His thumb brushed over my lower lip a few times before he nudged my mouth open. "Just a little bit. We need to get you rehydrated without overwhelming your system," he explained. He tipped a plastic bottle into my mouth, a tiny bit of cool liquid dribbling down my throat. I swallowed, wishing for more. He tipped a little more down my mouth, but not as much as I would have liked.

I must have groaned or something because he chuckled then. "I know that you want more, but you've already thrown up once because I gave you too much. Won't be making that mistake again," he promised. "Can you tell me what happened?" he asked in a quieter tone than he had the entire time. I nodded and tried to grab at the water bottle out of his hands. He tipped a little more into my mouth. "That's it, Spencer. I won't have you getting sick again," he declared. I nodded. He helped me sit up a little, though I really wanted to stretch out and sleep.

"The first time," I began slowly, my voice cracking from lack of real use, "they found some paper in the RV. I said it was mine," I croaked. I wasn't sure what portions of it he was actually able to hear, but he nodded, so I continued. "Beat me," I said simply. "Cigarette burns first. Then I made him angry. He hit me. Afterwards, they brought me back to where the rest of them were." He nodded again, but his eyes were sad; angry. There was something different about them, something that I had never seen lingering before.

"You said that was the first time," he whispered. I nodded. "What happened after that, Spencer?"

"I was afraid," I admitted. My tears stung my face as they began rolling over my cheekbones, clinging to my chin before making the leap to my chest and collarbone. "I was afraid that if I didn't let him hurt me, he would hurt those kids." Collin shook his head this time, but he wasn't denying me. No; he felt bad that I'd been forced to make the decision. "So I said that it was me." His eyes narrowed. "It didn't matter what they asked, it was always me. I couldn't let him hurt them." He nodded in understanding.

"You are the most insane person that I have ever met," he said, but the tone wasn't reproachful. No, he was adoring and admirable. "I don't know any other person who would ever be able to take all the stuff that you took, Spence." I tried to smile at him, but could feel my eyelids drooping. "We've only been driving for ten hours," he said. "Quil's determined not to stop until we get all the way back home. You'll be safe, I promise. If you're feeling tired, you can go back to sleep." I nodded sleepily. "Don't die on me, though. I know that you're tired and I know that you've been through hell and back, but I'm going to make everything better. I will never let anything hurt you again, Spencer. I promise."

I believed him. I would believe him to my dying breath. Hopefully, that breath wouldn't be coming very soon. I let myself rest in his arms, my head tucking into the side of his neck. There was silence swirling around the two of us for a good while. Then he took a deep breath and pressed his lips to my temple. "I love you, Spencer. I love you with everything in me. I don't know how I could have been so stupid as to not see that you were the love of my life. I don't know why I've wasted so many years with other people, but I won't spend another day without you ever again."

I smiled and turned my face into his chest.


	22. Chapter XXI

**Author's Note: I know that I didn't update for the last two days. There will be a double update in the near future. I meant to get chapters up yesterday, but the wonderful drunk college students smashed my window in with a brick. Unfortunately for me, I was standing too close to the stupid window and required stitches. It's been one hell of a day. Anyways, enjoy the chapter!**

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**Chapter XXI:****_ Collin's Point of View_**

I practically sprinted upstairs to our room. After I'd told her that I loved her, Spencer hadn't woken again. A part of me was nearly drowning in fear. I knew that she'd heard me tell her that I love her; I'd seen the smile on her face. But since she was still gone, I was afraid that she would think that I was giving her permission to die on me. That was the very last thing that I was trying to do. So as soon as the car parked, I pulled her out of the car and booked it up to my room.

Carlisle was waiting for me, much to Brady's displeasure. We all knew that Carlisle wouldn't hurt us, but the stench of vampire was always irritating. That, couple with the fact that he'd had to cancel his reconciliation meeting with Stephanie made for a very unhappy wolf. I placed Spencer on the bed and settled myself in the chair that Brady had brought in. "What happened to her leg?" Carlisle asked immediately. I shrugged. "I realize that you weren't there when she was being beaten, Collin, but you didn't ask one of the others?"

"Of course I asked," I snapped. "Jay said that it happened one night when she'd slept in the room he had her in. When they brought her back, she had the leg wound." Carlisle nodded. "I had other things that I needed to talk to her about." Again, he just nodded. I watched as he began poking and prodding, making Spencer groan and cal out in pain. "What are you doing to her?" I asked him, noticing her wince when he hit the same spot on her side. "Carlisle, what are you doing to her?" I demanded when he didn't answer.

"Collin, if you are going to question every move that I make, I am going to have to ask you to wait in the hallway," Carlisle said, his patience thinning. "I am trying to do the best that I can to make sure that your imprint is okay." Leaving her in the hands of yet another vampire seemed wrong. It made me sick to my stomach, actually. But I could feel the anger bubbling up inside of me, especially when Spencer let out another gasp of pain. I couldn't hear any more of that.

Brady burst into the room and locked his arms around my shoulders. He dragged me out of my chair and into the hallway, shoving me roughly into the empty guest bedroom. It made me laugh a little, actually. I had never even thought of offering that room to Spencer. It just seemed natural to have her in my room with me, to have her cuddled against me while she slept. "She is hurting," I grunted, trying to pull away from my best friend. "I have to get to her, Brady." I fought against him again, but he held fast. "Let me go!"

"If the situation was reversed, you would be protecting my imprint too!" he shouted back at me. "Because you know that when I want to be with my imprint and it's not good for her, you have to do what is best for her. What is best for her is best for me," he explained. I started to calm down. "I am just trying to help you, Collin. You want her to be safe. If you phase in there, she won't be safe at all." I nodded slowly, letting his words process through my brain. He was right. Spencer wouldn't be safe.

I collapsed myself onto the bed, tossing my arms over my head. Brady sat down in the couch in the room. We basically used the guest bedroom for storage of any furniture that we didn't have space for in the rest of the house. We sat in silence for a good while, nothing but the sound of our breathing mingling. "Did you finally figure out that you love her?" he asked me quietly. I just nodded, feeling like some stupid emotional girl. I shouldn't be sitting her pondering life and death of my imprint and wishing that I could have figured things out sooner. "You know, you're worse than Jake ever was?" he added.

"How so?" I asked, propping myself up on my elbows to look at him.

"Jake knew that he loved Ryanne in some regard."

"I know that I love her; I've always loved her in one form or another."

"Yeah, but Jake didn't try to tell himself that he didn't find her attractive like you did. Jake always knew that Ryanne was beautiful. He always knew that she was stunning and that she would turn heads. But you, no not you. You always assumed that Spencer was just the little girl that you knew when you were little. You never even stopped to look at the woman that she became," he continued.

I growled. "Okay, calm down," he said with a laugh. "I'm not hitting on your imprint. I'm just letting you know that she is a woman," he explained.

"Trust me, I know that," I retorted.

The light rap of knuckles against the wood had me sitting upright immediately. "If you have a moment, Collin, I would like to speak to you," Carlisle said. I nodded and jumped off the bed, padding on nervous feet to where my imprint was lying. She had a line of stitches in the raised cut on her cheek. Her eye was still swollen, but she did look better than she had when I found her. "I have pain medication for her. She is dehydrated, but nothing too severe. I didn't see a need to poke her with any more needles and set up an IV or anything." I nodded and sat myself down on the bed beside her.

"Is she going to be okay, Carlisle?" I asked quietly, looking at the various lines of black threads holding her skin together. Carlisle had all but covered her arms in bandages. She looked terrible, worse than she had when I finally got her back.

"She should pull through," he agreed. I sighed. "Her mental scars may be worse than her physical scars, though."

"She has enough of those," I replied. "I'm going to be taking care of her, Carlisle. No matter what happens, I'll be there for her."

"She has a few problems that you do need to be made aware of, though," he said before I could get too excited. I was so tired. I just wanted Carlisle to tell me that she was okay and let me go to bed. I hadn't slept in days. Even when I was resting when we were on the road, looking for our families, it hadn't been peaceful. I hadn't actually rested, though. It'd been just a sleep cycle to try and get me through the days and give me energy. I nodded at Carlisle, ready to hear about Spencer's injuries. "Leg wounds have a tendency to fester," he began slowly. "You will need to change the dressing on it at least every other day." I nodded again. "The ones on her arm need to be changed as well. And I have left you some cream that you should have with them as well. You need to make sure that you change her bandages there whenever you notice that they have started seeping," he explained. I nodded again. "She should be okay, though," he continued. "Just make sure that she stays stable. She can have one pill every twelve hours."

"Thank you, Carlisle. For everything," I said. Spencer had dropped her head to the side and was resting peacefully.

"I should get over to look at Tucker," he said. I nodded in understanding.

Brady walked him out to the front door and locked it tight. He came by the bedroom afterwards and sat by Spencer's bed while I showered. I wanted to be clean before I got in bed and gathered her tight to my chest. If I could do that, that is. I couldn't cause her any more pain that necessary. It would be hard not to hold her close, but if it meant not harming her, I would do it.

I was back in the room moments later. Brady was staring out the window, a book that he'd been trying to read lying in his lap. "You think I'm going to be the only one who doesn't imprint?" he asked then. I frowned at him. "Seriously, dude; everyone else has their imprint. I have Stephanie if we're getting along that day."

"You'll find her, Brady," I promised him. "You just have to have a little bit of patience."

"I seem to remember someone being rather impatient about finding their imprint," he laughed. I shrugged and pulled my wife-beater over my body. "I tell you, though, if and when I imprint, I'm not going to be as stupid as the rest of you. I'm going to embrace the fact that I have someone there for me."

"We'll see what happens when you actually imprint," I snorted.


	23. Chapter XXII

**Author's Note: There will be a DOUBLE UPDATE today! Also, for those of you who read ****_Chains Around Her Heart_****, there will not be an update today so that I can get all my chapters and stories caught up as they are supposed to be. Sorry for any inconvenience, but I hope you all enjoy the chapter anyways!**

**Chapter XXII:****_ Collin's Point of View_**

Carlisle had told me that she would sleep. A lot. He told me that her body had to heal itself. But I hadn't been expecting the silence. Knowing that she was alive almost didn't help. She was completely still, tucked under the blankets. Her breathing was the only sound in the entire room. Her chest rose and fell. Still, I waited for something; anything. I found myself hoping that she would have a bad dream, just so I would know that everything was working in there. Then, as soon as that thought hit my brain, I felt guilt for wishing her any kind of pain.

I stopped running patrol all together, hoping that I would be there by her side when she finally opened her eyes again. Waiting in our room, though, became too much. I couldn't sit there and watch her breathe, hoping that she was going to open her eyes. I couldn't leave because I wanted to make sure that I was there. So I busied myself with the house. I shampooed the carpets in the guest bedroom. I dusted all the furniture in the house. I did the dishes. I repainted our kitchen. For days on end, I did nothing but odd jobs.

On the fifth night, I was tucked into bed alongside her. I was afraid of hurting her, so I'd tucked the blanket up around her shoulders and rested next to her, lying my hand over the unharmed skin at her waist. I laid my head on her same pillow, my chin floating a few inches from her shoulder. Her chest rose and fell evenly, like it had been for days. She gave a solitary cough, the first break in her rhythmic pattern of breathing. "Col?" she hissed.

I shot upright, pressing myself up on my elbow to lean over her. I beamed at her, my breath stuck in my throat. Her sleepy eyes drifted closed, but a light smile began blooming over her lips. "Dear God, Spencer," I muttered. She moved a head so that the shadow of my face fell over her cheek. In the moonlight, she looked exhausted but alive. Blessedly alive. "How do you feel? Are you in any pain? I have medication that Carlisle said to start giving you when you woke up," I explained. She shook her head and tried to pull herself closer.

"Did I dream it, Collin?" she whispered.

"Dream what?" I asked.

Goosebumps rippled over her skin. "Did you really say it?" she said then. I noticed that her words were guarded. It was like she didn't want to admit that I had said. I wondered if that was really what it was. Was she afraid of asking if I loved her? It would make sense. If I hadn't said it, she would be setting herself up for more pain. The last thing that I had ever wanted to do was hurt her, but now it was more. I was just a sap.

"I love you, Spencer," I said quietly. She took a trembling lungful of air, her lips shaking even after she'd inhaled. A watched one tear slide from the corner of her eyes. It dripped down her temple until it reached the delicate shell of her ear. "Is that what you were talking about?" She nodded, another tear following the first. "Why are you crying?" I asked then, catching the salty droplets and brushing them away.

"Because I never thought that I would hear you say those words and mean them," she whispered. "Like, really mean them."

"I always meant them, Spencer. I just didn't realize how much I meant them," I promised her. She wiggled her way closer to me, hissing as she did. "Don't hurt yourself. Tell me what you want; I'll get it for you." She didn't listen. She tried again to wriggle her way to my side whenI figure out what she wanted. I brought myself to her side, tucking her more securely against myself. "I wish that I could turn you on your side," I told her. She turned her face so that her nose was rubbing against my breastbone.

"I'm happy just like this," she told me. I leaned down at pressed a kiss to her lips. It was short, sweet, and delicate; nothing like what I would really like to do. But it would have to suffice for the moment. Her eyes popped open suddenly, a desperate look burning there. "Will you do that again?" she asked me quietly. I nodded and did as she bid, almost laughing at the fact that she'd had to ask me. I kissed her softly, still nowhere near as passionate as I wanted, but desperately wanting to feel her lips agains mine again. She sighed.

I pulled away, smoothing her hair as I went. "You're getting tired again, aren't you?" I whispered. She nodded, but was quick to inform me that she didn't want to go to bed just yet. "Why don't you tell me about how fearless you are, then." To my surprise, she turned her face away from me. The happiness that had been twinkling there was gone. She looked as dead and emotionless as she'd been the entire week. "Please talk to me," I implored, scooting even closer to her. "You protected everyone, Spencer." She just shook her head again. "Please?"

"I'm not fearless," she muttered. "I was so scared, Collin. All I could think about was what he could do to me. And that if he could do it to me, he could do it to anyone else; like Claire. I couldn't let him do those things to that little girl." My lips twitched. I should have known that her fear didn't stem from her own safety. No; she was concerned about the other people in that room. "What if he'd take Jay instead of me? I wouldn't know how to take care of all those kids. I wasn't unafraid; I was just... just pretending."

"That's called courage, Spencer," I said. I gripped her chin between my thumb and forefinger and turned her towards me. There were tears shimmering in those fathomless dark eyes. I shook my head. "Courage isn't the absence of fear, Spencer. It's the ability to overcome it and do the best that you can." She just looked at me, her eyes still sad. "That's what you did, Spencer. You were afraid, rightfully so. But you didn't give into the fear. You protected the others from unspeakable evil. I know that you did; it's written all over your body."

Her eyes were closing again, the dark brown that I had longed to see falling away. I smiled. At least I knew that she was okay; that she was going to wake up again. She tilted her head so that it fell against my chest with a light thunking sound. I caressed her cheek with my lips and let her fall back asleep. I was awoken a little while later to her loud snore and couldn't stop my chuckle. At least she was that comfortable in the position she was sleeping in. God knows that I was happy, holding her close.

"Collin?" I groaned. "Collin?" I shook my head. "Collin, please wake up." I realized then who was calling me.

"What's wrong?" I asked, popping my eyes open and looking down at her desperate eyes. "Are you okay?"

"I have to pee," she whispered. I let my head fall against her shoulder and laughed a little. I needed to get control of myself before I drove myself insane worrying about her. "It's not funny, Col. I really have to go to the bathroom and your arm weighs a million pounds."

"You're just weak from having the shit beat out of you for a week," I promised her. "Okay, I'll help you get up." She nodded and let me slide my arms underneath her back and her knees to help her sit up. She whimpered. "Are you hurting?" She shook her head.

"I really have to go to the bathroom," she explained, squeezing her eyes shut as I moved her to the bathroom. "Okay, I'll make it from here," she promised me, embarrassment coloring her cheeks. I laughed at her nerves and set her down on the ground. She leaned against the walls and helped herself to the bathroom.

She made me laugh the second that she was finished and hobbling towards the doorway again. "I feel like I smell like rotting food," she whispered. I brought her into my side with a laugh. "I do, don't I?"

"No, you don't," I laughed. "But if you really want to, I'll help you get into the bathtub later," I promised her. She nodded her head. I breathed in the wondrous scent of her, my nose brushing the skin of her neck. She shivered against me. "Let's get you in the bath, smelly." Before I did something neither of us was ready for. I gave a thready laugh and she rolled her eyes at me.


	24. Chapter XXIII

**Author's Note: Fluff is great and all, but aren't we forgetting that there's a whole other family she has to become a part of? Anyways, here's the second chapter. I hope you all enjoy! Love & Thanks **

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**Chapter XXIII**

He meant it. I saw it glowing in his eyes. He meant it when he said that he loved me. As if that hadn't been enough, he'd kissed me. It was the one thing that I'd wanted for so long but never thought I was going to get. Collin kissed me. It had been brief, a mere flutter of his lip against mine. Yet, it was almost more precious than if he had gone full out and kissed me. For the next few days, he'd cautiously watched after me, helping me get up and about and holding me close whenever he could.

A week after I'd woken, though, he'd made no move to show that he loved me beyond sleeping next to me every night. I was getting tired of it on the eighth day, but unsure how to go forward. That was when Collin walked into the room. "Hey Spence?" he called. I sat myself up in bed, satisfied that my strength had return enough that I could manage the feat with Collin's help. He handed the cup of tea down to me. "I have to run patrol today," he admitted, his anger evident. I just smiled at him.

"I'm going to have Ryanne come and hang out with you, if that's okay with you. I know that you're not close to any of the girls, but I'd like for you to get to know them better. And I know of all of them, you'd probably prefer Tucker, but she's still recovering. I doubt Seth is going to let her go anywhere on her own for the next few months," he explained. "But Ryanne is the Alpha's imprint. She's kind of like everyone's mother." I nodded again, remembering the conversation that I'd overheard earlier. "Okay, I'm heading out."

He leaned down and kissed my cheek, but that was it. I even tried to turn my head towards him to catch his lip, but I couldn't manage it. I smiled at him until I heard the front door close downstairs. I groaned and laid myself down in the bed, wishing that I could change this. I just wanted him to realize that I wasn't going to snap in half. I knew how to take care of myself, how to deal with my own life. I'd always been able to deal with things. You just had to pretend the bad things were gone and only the happy remained.

"Knock, knock," the quiet voice called. Ryanne poked her head through the crack, her dark curls bouncing as she pushed the door open to walk all the way in. If we were being completely honest, every single time that an imprint walked around me, I felt completely inadequate. I was never a pretty girl, at least not in my opinion. My hair had never had that bouncy, healthy curl that everyone else's seemed to have. It didn't curl or hang straight like it was supposed to. Until recently, it looked like straw that had been dyed black.

I was nothing more than skin and bones most of the time. I looked at the others, with the feminine curves and sleek, shining hair, and couldn't help but wonder what I was doing around them. Collin loved me and I believed that. I didn't love him for his looks, although I wouldn't say that I was displeased with what he looked like. If I could love him for more than just what he looked like, than he could love me the same. But if, for the rest of my life, I was going to be hanging out with girls that were all so beautiful, he was bound to realize eventually that I wasn't. "Collin wanted me to keep you company for a little while," she said. "How are you feeling?"

"I can't complain," I whispered. Ryanne sat herself on the edge of the chair that was sitting at the bedside. Her eyebrows winged upwards, as if she didn't quite believe me. "Okay, I'm sore. My head never stops pounding and I think my leg has its own heartbeat forming," I admitted. She tossed her head back with her laughter and then leaned forward to rest elbows on knees.

"See, now that wasn't so hard, was it?" she asked, still chuckling. "And how are things going with Collin? I hear he finally had his epiphany moment." I shrugged. "Well that's never a good sign. What'd he do?"  
It was strange to me that these people seemed to care about me. They hadn't known me very long, but here sat one of them trying to insert herself into my life. She sounded like she really care, like she actually wanted to help me. God knows that I couldn't talk to Collin about my fears. He would only get embarrassed and make some excuse to leave. So I had no one to talk to about my problems and the person before me seemed to care. It was a simple solution to a rather difficult problem. And I might as well embrace the fact that she was here. I was, apparently, going to be a part of this _pack_ for the rest of my life. "Nothing," I finally replied quietly.

"Oh, come on. I'm not going to go yell at hime unless I _really_ need to; I promise," she said with a laugh.

I chuckled in response, too. "No, I mean... I - - He really hasn't done _anything_," I blushed. My face was turning seven different shades of pink as I said it. Ryanne cocked her head to the side with a smile that seemed to be ever present on her face.

"And you want to change that?" I nodded, dropping my eyes down in embarrassment. "Well, we should start by putting some meat on your bones. I mean, no offense, but you look like a really good Halloween costume. You're practically a skeleton." I couldn't take offense when I had been thinking about the same thing only moments ago. "He loves you, you know that right?" I nodded. "Like, _really_ know that he loves you, right? Because I don't need another Penn."

"Penn?"

"Yeah, you met her at the barbecue. When Embry fell in love with her, she didn't believe him," she explained. "It took a long time for Embry to convince her that he really loved her. In the end, though she finally had to figure out that he actually loved her. I don't need _that_ drama happening again."

"Weren't you sure that Jake didn't love you either?" I asked, trying to piece together the things that I'd heard over the last few weeks.

"_That_ was different," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "I thought that Jake was in love with my sister and that I was just the rebound." I smiled to myself but didn't say anything else. "I'll have the girls come over. We'll talk about how to properly seduce your wolf," she said.

"Seduce?" I coughed, though my voice was little more than a squeak. "I don't think that's necessary, Ryanne. I don't need to _seduce_ him; I just need him to see me as a human instead of a glass doll that will break any moment."

"That's called seduction, Spencer. Hold on," she promised. One of her fingers lifted I front of her face. It was almost silly what a little finger could do to make me stop talking. "Okay, there," she declared, placing her phone on the bed. "Like I was saying before, if we just get some weight on you, that'll take care of half the problem."

"Problem?" I laughed. "I think I'm closer to a disaster, Ryanne."

"You're very pretty," she said. I couldn't stop laughing at that. It caused a pain in my side, but I couldn't stop myself. "I'm serious. When you're not battered and bruised, you're very pretty. Now, moving on." Her mouth hung open as the knocking on the front door drowned out the next statement. "It's open," she called.

Before I knew what was actually happening, my house (which was actually _not_ mine) was flooded with girls. Ryanne bounced herself up to where Collin normally sat with me. Leah took the chair. Kim and Charlie were sitting against the decorated foot of the bed. Penn as sitting on the wooden pillar the marked the end of the footboard, her chin resting on her knee. "Well," Penn said slowly, "I have a lotion that you could have him put on." Ryanne had quickly explained my entire situation and everything that had happened. "Carlisle gave me a bottle for a cut I had a few years back. Then I switched the lotion out for something a little better."

The girls gave their little giggles and began talking about the secret things that they'd done. There was a part of me that felt completely out of place. These girls knew each other; they were a family. I was just the new girl in the group.

Ryanne lightly bumped into my side then, a smile stretched over her sun-tanned skin. "You guys are embarrassing her," she chastised the other. "You'll get used to them," she promised me in a quiet voice. Charlie shoved Penn for something that had been said in sign language, sending the pregnant girl stumbling off the pillar. Ryanne rolled her eyes. "Welcome to the Pack."


	25. Chapter XXIV

**Author's Note: I know I didn't update yesterday. Sorry, midterms week is stupid. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXIV**

There was a list, a literal _list_ of things that the girls had for me to do. Number one, with stars and bells and whistles, was for me to gain weight again. According to the girls, Collin wasn't going to do anything until he knew that I was healthy again. And there was something about fitting better into clothes that I was going to be buying if I had some more weight on me. "Boys don't like skin and bones," Leah had said, "least of all these boys. Trust me; I'm stuck in their heads most days."

Penn suggested that I give myself a month to feel better again. According to the others, she was the one who knew the most about healing and recovering and all of those things. I didn't ask questions, worried that it was a personal thing that she wouldn't want to talk about. "A month of good food, though, and you'll be in good shape," she'd promised. The thought of not getting Collin's real attention for a month may drive me to the brink of sanity, but there was nothing I could do about it. "We should let you get some rest," Penn had said.

In the days that came after the girls' visit, I found that I liked having a family. At least one of them came over everyday. At first it was strange; more than a little awkward since I didn't really know any of them. But each time that they were over, Collin smiled a little more. He was happy that I was getting to know his family, his Pack. At first, I was putting up with the parade of Pack members so that I could make him happy. Then, it started to get fun. The kids were funny. The girls were crazy. The guys were overprotective.

After a few days, I started feeling better. I hobbled around the house, leaning against anything that was convenient for me to have. I slowly started going about my day again, cooking dinner, cleaning up the house, watch mindless television when there was nothing else to do. I liked having a home, having friends who could visit whenever they felt like it. Hell, I liked having friends. I liked getting into bed every night and curling into the arms of the boy that I'd been missing for the last five years.

Two weeks after I woke up, Collin crawled into bed alongside me. I let my eyes drift shut and rested my head on his shoulder. His hand rested in the dip of my waist. Whether my waist was just small or his hand was just large, but it spanned the entire valley between my ribs and my hip. "Hey Spencer?" he said. Some fifteen minutes after getting bed. "Can you tell me about what happened with your uncle?" I opened my eyes and tilted my head back to look up at him. "I don't want to push you, Spence, but I want -"

"You want to protect me," I supplied. He nodded. "There isn't much to tell, Collin. I made a mistake. I shouldn't have gone to the cops."

"That's not what I'm talking about," he was quick to say. I furrowed my brow, managing to roll myself over so that I could look at his face. His head was propped up on a pillow so that he could look at me as well. "You won't tell me what your life was like, Spencer. I want to know. I want to protect you from him." I shook my head.

"I don't think that he's going to come after me, Col," I breathed. "If he was going to, he would have by now."

"That's all well and good," he said, shifting so that he was sitting up a little more. He brought that arm that wasn't supporting his weight around me, holding me close to him. "But that's not what I'm talking about. If he was here, I know that I could protect you. I'm talking about the things that he made you do, what he made you think and feel. I want to make those things better."

He couldn't. It was impossible to make that better. The unfortunate thing was that I couldn't tell him every thing. If I did, Collin would never want to be with me. Who would? The things that had been done too me were too great. So I shook my head, not willing to verbally deny him something. This was just one thing that I couldn't give him. He stared at me for a long time, but ultimately sighed heavily. "I hope that one day you'll tell me, Spencer. I really do. Because I do love you and I do want to protect you from anything; from everything."

He let me sleep after that, though he did keep his arms wrapped tight around me. I could feel the tension in him even when we were sleeping though. His face wasn't relaxed. His arms were taut, his muscles strained. He may have slept, but it wasn't a peaceful rest.

The next day I decided to leave the house by myself. For the first time, I ventured outside of the house without Collin or Brady. Well, other than the time that I'd been kidnapped. I walked through the forest, into the shaded glen that house the house I'd heard so much about, and knocked on Penn's front door. "Good morning," I greeted. Embry was just as tall as every other wolf that I had met. There was a kind of childishness about him, but his eyes were still immensely mature. He held a little girl on his hip, her arms wrapped around his neck and her head resting against his shoulder. "I was hoping that I could talk to Penn about some... some, uh, some stuff," I finally settled with saying. Embry's eyes narrowed, but he eventually nodded and stepped back a little farther.

"Lizzie Loo, why don't you get Mama for me?" The little girl nodded and squirmed enough so that Embry could drop her down to the ground. She bounded off, her feet unsteady and her gait a little wobbly, but off she went. "I'm glad to see that you're feeling well enough," he said, "especially after everything that I've heard has happened with you. We were all pretty concerned." I smiled, feeling like it was strange to have someone sound like they really cared. "I hope that everything is okay with you." I nodded. "I have work, so you and Penn will have to distract Lizzie Loo."

"I think we'll manage," I said, thinking about the last time the little girl had come over to my house. I'd let the little beauty give me a make over, lucky that I'd been able to scrub the gunk off my face. Lizzie came back with her mother in hand, releasing it to run to her father and embrace him. Embry kissed her chubby, little cheek and told her he'd be home for her tea party at four. He kissed his wife, as well, though with more passion than I would have assumed would happen in front of company. "Hey."

"Come on; we'll eat in the backyard. Lizzie and I made sandwiches," Penn said. Lizzie bounced around like a wild Mexican jumping bean and headed towards the living room to grab her toys. "I'm surprised to see you here. I mean, besides the fact that you are actually out of the house for once, _here_ of all places is strange."

"I have some questions, about your life."

"Lizzie, why don't you go play on the swing set?" her mother suggested. The little girl took off to the backyard with us right behind her. "What is it that you're wondering about?" Penn asked, her voice quieting down.

"Everyone talks about your life, about how it was super difficult," I began slowly, "but I was wondering if you could tell me a little more." She cocked her head to the side and just stared at me, her eyes unreadable. "My life in Oklahoma was... It was terrible. And Collin wants to know about it. He wants me to tell him about what it was like to be me."

"You're afraid," she said for me. "Because they ruined you and you don't want to admit that to him. If he knows, he'll run away from you. You're unlovable. You're... you're nothing." I nodded, looking down at the ground. "I should probably tell you my story," she whispered. And she told the whole of it. She explained that her father sold her out as a child prostitute, in order to keep the house afloat. When she was finally emancipated and began working on her own, she didn't know what to do for the left over money, so she went to stripping. "I eventually had to tell Embry," she whispered. "And just like you I was afraid of what he would think of me when I did."

"And?"

She smiled, looking away from the plates of lunch that we'd been munching on. "Talk to him, Spencer; because at the end of the day, that's what comes from talking to them about what we went through," she said, pointing over at her daughter's beach waves blowing in the light breeze. "It's worth it, too."


	26. Chapter XXV

**Author's Note: Here's the next chapter. The big truth is revealed. Those who have read my other stories, I hope you're surprised! Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXV**

I thought through Penn's words the next few nights. Collin noticed that I was withdrawing, but he didn't do more than ask if I was okay. When I told him that I was, fortunately, he took it at face value and let me go on with my day. I needed to tell him the truth. I had decided that much. Penn was right. I couldn't let him think he was in love with me under false pretenses. He had to know everything and I had to hope that his love was deeper than my pain. Doubtful, but my hope.

The fourth night after my conversation with Penn, I sat on our bed, waiting patiently for him to come home. Brady made some excuse about going home to his parents for a few day, but I could sense that it was a lie. Collin and I were going to have the weekend to ourselves. The timing was hardly ideal, since I was still skin and bones and my hair was still dull. I would just have to make him see reason. So I was sitting, fiddling with my fingers and worrying my lower lip while I waited.

"Hey Spence, I'm home," he called from downstairs. My heartbeat skyrocketed, my nerves worrying a hold in the lining of my stomach, I was sure of it. I was going to end up dead with ulcers by the end of this conversation. "Are you okay, sugar?" he asked then. He had taken to calling me that recently. _Sugar_. I wasn't sure how I felt about it, actually. I couldn't tell whether he was calling me sweet or what. "Your heartbeat sounds a little crazy," he said, coming into the hallway, standing in the threshold of the door.

His broad shoulders practically filled the doorway. He smiled at me sweetly, his eyes alight with pleasure. "I think - - Collin, there's - - We need to talk," I whispered. His eyes went wide with fear. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, only that he was concerned about what I'd just said. I thought through the words then, and realized where his worry was stemming from. If someone had told me that we need to talk, I might have feared the conversation as well. "It's nothing bad," I assured him. "Well, not for you anyways. It's actually something that you really want to talk about."

His eyes narrowed and he crossed the room to settle on the bed beside me. His fingers brushed away tears that I hadn't realized had fallen. "Whatever it is, Spencer, it's nothing to be worried about. I promise you, it can wait if you don't want to talk about it," he said. "I won't push you to talk about something, sugar. No matter how much I want to talk to you about it. I can be as curious as I want. You just have to say no. If you say no, conversation over. I promise."

I sniffled and laughed, looking away from him. "Why do you call me sugar?" I asked, unable to keep from saying something, but not willing to say the things that were really on my mind. "It's just - - stupid," I managed to choke out. "It sounds like something out of an old Western movie or something."

He stroked my cheek. "I call you sugar because you are incredibly sweet," he said, brushing the pad of his thumb over my cheekbone. "I call you sugar because I wish that our lives could be like something out of an old Western. And I don't intend on finding another nickname."

The simplest of all my questions was now answered. There was nothing left for me to hide behind. There was nothing left for me to ask about. He forced me too look at him, my cheeks pillowed in his hands. "Before I start, Collin, you have to swear that you'll let me get through the whole of it before you judge me." His eyes narrowed. "I'm not proud of what you're about to hear, but if you'll just give me a chance to tell you, to explain, I swear that I'll be honest with you." His eyes were still slit, but he nodded.

"Up until the time that I was fourteen, I knew nothing but the life that Mom had shown me," I began quietly. "I only knew that life was full of bad people who would try to take me away from the people that I loved. Of course, that belief was only strengthened when I was taken away from you." He began shaking his head again, but I couldn't let him interrupt. I pressed my hand over his mouth, using my other hand to cup his chin. "You promised that you would let me finish my story." He nodded.

"They brought me to Oklahoma," I continued. "I was only there for a few months when it happened. My uncle got in a bad way with the wrong people. They were going to take his house, his car, everything he owned. And that included me." He growled, the threat low in his chest. "But it wasn't just those people that he was in trouble with. If his meth operation got shut down, he would lose everything _and_ his life. So he offered the people me." I licked my lips, recalling every horrid moment of it.

"At first, it was just... just simple stuff that they wanted. They wanted blow jobs and hand jobs and any other job you can imagine." My voice broke, but I couldn't stop. "Then one, he came and told my uncle he would _pay_ for my virginity. Uncle Tom was up for anything that would give him money, so he said yes." I wanted to bury my face in Collin's shoulder and let him kiss all the hurt away. He was shaking now, the entire king-sized bed vibrating around us. "He came in the little room that I got to call mine."

"I don't want to hear this," Collin announced, launching off the bed and standing against the wall.

"I don't want to tell you, trust me. But you have to know all of this, Collin. Please, just listen to me," I implored. He nodded, but he was standing all the way across the room now. "He came in my room and I couldn't let him hurt me. I tried to get away. I fought and kicked, but he was naked before I could get him off of me. I freaked out. He was hitting me and telling me that I couldn't stop him. He said that I _belonged_ to him." I shook my head, willing my eyes to look out the window. Anywhere else so that I couldn't see the emotions that would be on Collin's face. "And then I remembered that time that we went down the alley and those men were trying to hurt me. The time when you broke the bottle." He nodded. "I didn't know what else to do, Collin. I punched the window because we were right there. I grabbed hold of the shard, but he had jerked away because he of all the glass that fell. So I threw it.

"I didn't mean for it to hit him in the neck. I was just throwing to throw. I just wanted to make an escape, to get out and get back to you," I sobbed. My tears were streaming endlessly now. "He died."

"What!?" Collin shouted.

"He died, Collin. I hit his jugular or something. I don't really know. He bled out and he died on my floor." I could see the ruby red stain of the blood in my grey carpeting. I raked my hands through my hair, wishing that I could tug the strands out. "Uncle Tom hid the body and let all his friends think that the man had just disappeared. But if I ever left the house, besides school, if I ever did anything bed, Collin, he said that he would kill me. When I said that he wouldn't, that he couldn't because I was the one who cooked and cleaned and bought groceries, he said he'd just tell the cops that I killed him." I shook my head. "I was so scared. I didn't mean to kill him. I just wanted to be left alone. And instead, I found myself trapped with my uncle. Blackmailed."

Collin stopped shaking, like shock had forced him to stay still. "If I had just let him rape me, I might not have had the rest happen. I was beaten and raped and used for drug runs because the cops would never suspect me. I was given enough food to live and nothing more. And every single day, I wished that I could find a way to get away from him. Every single night, I lay in that damn bed, wondering what bugs might be in there, and wished for the couch that we slept on. I wanted to come home, but I didn't know how. Especially after everything happened. How could you want to be around me when I was only pretending to be normal again? I killed someone, Collin. In cold blood, I killed him!"  
"No," he cried. He crossed the room and took me in his arms. "No, Spencer, you protected yourself." He cradled my face in his hands, but I couldn't allow it. He was _acting_ like holding me didn't disgust him. "It's called self defense, sugar."

"So you don't hate me?" I managed quietly.

"Spencer, I _love_ you."


	27. Chapter XXVI

**Author's Note: Ask and ye shall receive! Someone asked for Collin's perspective of Spencer's life story, so here it is. It is a little repetitive in context, but it's Collin's emotions that we're after here. Hope you enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXVI: ****_Collin's Point of View_**

"Hey Spence, I'm home," I shouted, slamming the front door shut. Her heart ricocheted in her chest, like she was terrified of something. I took a deep breath, inhaling to take in the scents swirling in the house. There was Brady's, but his was older. There was Spencer's, mingled with the smell of anxiety, but nothing else. "Are you okay, sugar?" I called. I marched up the stairs, thinking about the sugary taste her lips always left when I kissed her. I so desperately wanted to be doing that more often, but couldn't risk scaring her way. Not when she was still so fragile. "Your heartbeat sounds a little crazy."

I leaned against the doorjamb and smiled at her. One day, I would come home and she would open her arms to me and I would lay down on that damned bed and sleep the night away holding her close. For the time being, I would just have to keep dreaming about holding her the way I wanted to. "I think," she licked her lips nervously, "Collin there's... We need to talk," she finally said. I don't think four words had ever weighed so heavily on my heart. "It's nothing bad. Well, not for you, anyways." What was she talking about? Not for me? If it was bad for her, it was bad for me. "It's actually something that you really want to talk about."

There were a lot of things that I wanted to talk about. The least of them was her emotions, but I couldn't be sure what she was talking about. "Whatever it is, Spencer, it's nothing to be worried about. I promise you, it can wait if you don't want to talk about it. I won't push you to talk about something, sugar. No matter how much I want to talk to you about it," I added. "I can be as curious as I want. You just have to say no." To anything. She could tell me no about painting the damn bedroom and I would agree. "If you say no, conversation over. I promise." Of course, it was just my luck that she asked the question that I'd been dreading. I thanked my lucky stars that I'd been able to come up with a suitable excuse as to _why_ I called her sugar.

Still, my humor didn't seem to do anything to convince her to calm down. Her back was still stiff as a poker. Her eyes were still dead with the dread that seemed to be building inside her. "Before I start, Collin, you have to swear that you'll let me get through the whole of it before you judge me." The whole of _what_? What could she have done that was so terrible? She'd only been gone for five years. "I'm not proud of what you're about to hear, but if you'll just give me a chance to tell you, to explain, I swear that I'll be honest with you." A part of me knew what I was going to hear. A part of me knew that she'd been tortured and hurt. I knew for a fact that she'd been starved. I could see all of her bones when she first arrived. But I nodded because I desperately needed to hear her say all of it; I needed her to trust me.

"Up until the time that I was fourteen, I knew nothing but the life that Mom had shown me," she breathed. "I only knew that life was full of bad people who would try to take me away from the people that I loved." I needed to show her that life wasn't like that any more. Back when we were young, she was right: that's all we'd known. But I knew better now and I wanted to show her the better side of things. "Of course, that belief was only strengthened when I was taken away from you." I should have stopped that from happening. I should have found a way to keep her with me. Her soft hand came up to press against my mouth, the bulge of a scar pressing against my chin when she gripped me there. "You promised that you would let me finish my story."

So I had.

"They brought me to Oklahoma. I was only there for a few months when it happened." I was about to hear that she was in pain; that she'd been hurt. God how I didn't want to hear any of this. Then again, it couldn't possibly be worse than my imagination, right? "My uncle got in a bad way with the wrong people. They were going to take his house, his car, everything he owned." That was okay. That would have brought her back to me. "And that included me." No! No it did not. She was _mine_. She was my imprint, my girl, my love. She didn't belong with anyone else.

"But it wasn't just those people that he was in trouble with. If his meth operation go shut down, he would lose everything_ and _his life. So he offered the people me." So it was just as I'd imagined. She had a shared history with Penn. The two of them had been forced to give themselves up to save men that they didn't even care about. "At first, it was just - - just simple stuff that they wanted." I couldn't listen to her tell me _what_ she'd been forced to do. I listened instead to my heart pound in my ears, to the blood that raced through me. "Then one night, he came and told my uncle he would _pay_ for my virginity.

"Uncle Tom was up for anything that would give him money, so he said yes." Some of the vigor seemed to drain out of her. "He came in the little room that I got to call mine," she began her voice breaking with each word. She was really going to tell me. I didn't know if I could handle it. I wasn't sure if I could listen to what that monster had done to her without phasing in our room. And that would only scar her in another way.

"I don't want to hear this." I jumped from the bed and began pacing, needing to do something with the restlessness that was gnawing at my gut. She was supposed to be protected. They were supposed to place her somewhere that she would be safe. She would have been safe with me. I would have stopped all her pain.

"I don't want to tell you, trust me," she whispered. "But you have to know all of this, Collin. Please listen to me." She was right. I needed to know all of it because I needed to know what bastard in Oklahoma were going to die a slow and painful death. I needed to hear her story because her telling it was a sign that she was healing. She was learning to trust again and only once she'd acknowledged what had happened could I move forward with her. It was going to be an uphill battle and I refused to let her fall. So I nodded. "He came in my room and I couldn't let him hurt me." At least she knew that. "I tried to get away. I fought and kicked but he was naked before I could get him off of me."

My snarls were building in my chest agin. "I freaked out. He was hitting me and telling me that I couldn't stop him. He said that I _belonged_ to him." She turned her tortured eyes on me, but quickly turned away again. He'd hit her. Somehow, hearing it said was worse than just the imaginings that I'd had. It became real. "And then I remembered that time that we went down the alley and those men were trying to hurt me. The time when you broke the bottle." The time that I'd saved her.

I never should have let her leave. If she'd been with me, she would have never known that pain. I could have protected her from those men, just like I'd done all of our lives. "I didn't know what else to do, Collin." She was growing desperate, almost as desperate as the wolf inside of me that wanted to find those men and rip them to shreds. I may not be able to kill them, but I could leave them within inches of their lives and hope that the worst came. "I punched the window because we were right there." She'd defended herself. She'd protected herself. Pride welled up in me.

"I grabbed hold of the shard, but he'd jerked away because of all the glass that fell. So I threw it." Her heart and breathing suddenly turned frantic and the pride inside of me turned to fear. "I didn't mean for it to hit him in the neck. I was just throwing to throw. I just wanted to make an escape; to get out and get back to you." She couldn't seem to get words past her throat for a few seconds. Then she finally muttered two words that cleaved my heart in two.

"He died."

"What!?"

"He died, Collin."

I wasn't sure what I felt. I was torn between pride at her bravery, pride at her ability to take care of herself and pain. Endless amounts of pain at the guilt that was sitting on her shoulders. Guilt that she shouldn't feel for her would be rapist. "I hit his jugular or something. I don't really know. He bled out and he died on my floor. Uncle Tom hid the body and let all his friends think that the man had just disappeared." She went on to talk about the blackmail, to talk about the things that her uncle had forced her to do.

Everything in me told me to run. I needed to find those men, all the ones that had violated her, and make sure that they knew they could never lay a finger on my imprint. "Every single day, I wished that I could find a way to get away from him," she trembled. "Every single night, I lay in that damn bed, wondering what bugs might be in there, and wished for the couch we slept on." And every night I'd wished for her beside me so that I could know that she was safe. "I wanted to come home, but I did't know how. Especially after everything happened." Especially with her uncle controlling her.

"How could you want to be around me when I was only pretending to be normal again?" she muttered, her voice beyond tortured. I wished that I could take this pain from her. I wished that I could make it my own and make sure that she never had to feel it again. "I killed someone, Collin. In cold blood, I killed him." There was that guilt, misplaced and wasted on a monster that had tried to rape her.

"No." I pulled her tight to my chest for a brief moment, willing her to feel it through my arms. I wanted her to feel everything I did so that she would know that she wasn't alone. "No, Spencer, you protected yourself." But I could see that she didn't believe me. "It's called self defense, sugar."

"So you don't hate me?" she breathed.

My heart slammed to a brief stop in my chest. As if there was a world where I could ever imagine hating her. She could tell me that she was the reason my father'd been a drug addict and I couldn't have found it in me to hate her. No, she was to precious for that. She was my Spencer. "No, Spencer I _love _you." She turned her face away from me.

I wanted to find the men, to get away from her before I really hurt, but that would hurt her even more. Hadn't Embry said that one of his biggest regrets was walking away from Penn after she'd shared her story? It had set them so far back, Embry didn't know if he'd ever been able to fix it. I wouldn't set us back. Spencer and I were going to be moving forward with our lives.

So I turned that beautiful, tear stained face up to look at me, pressing a kiss to her forehead and then her nose before claiming the lips that I'd desperately been craving; holding nothing back.


	28. Chapter XXVII

**Author's Note: Hey guys! I don't know who all out there has a Mac, but I just had to update to the OS X Mavericks system and let's just say my computer wasn't very happy about it. I still have more updates to go through on my computer for the next couple of days so chapters will be touch and go. But, when everything does settle down, I promise I'll hit you with all that you've missed out on, okay? Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXVII**

He was kissing me. Well and truly kissing me. It wasn't like before when he'd pressed his lips against mine with little, if any, passion. But now his mouth moved in soft motion with mine, insistently parting my lips. I'd been kissed before, but never had a man been so soft and gentle about it. His thumbs crushed against my cheeks, shoving the tear trails away. He was acting like I was a feast and he was a man that hadn't eaten in years. He prodded at my mouth, coaxing it until I was open to him, completely vulnerable.

He pulled away before I really had my faculties together. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to do that," he whispered, his breath washing against the bridge of my nose and cheeks. "After what you've been through, I doubt that you needed that. I'm sorry." The fact that he was stammering gave me the hope that maybe, just maybe, that kiss had effected him just as much as it had effected me. I couldn't even think straight. My brain was still processing that a man as large and rough around the edges as Collin could touch me as softly as he had.

"Stop talking," I finally managed to get through my teeth. I gripped his shirt a little tighter and tugged. It probably wasn't enough for him to really feel it, but it was enough to get my point across. He leaned in again and this time… Well, this time I was a little better prepared. I had no idea what I was doing. I'd never kissed anyone back, but I tried my hardest. I allowed my mouth to slide with his, repeating any motion and movement that he made. Hesitantly, his tongue drew a seam along my lips. I gasped, the sound losing itself in his mouth.

His tongue slid into my mouth, surprising me with its warmth. Surprising me even further when I had no desire to shove him away. I'd been kissed this way before. The men always thought that I was clinging to them when I was trying to shove them away from me. I'd told my uncle this once. He'd only laughed and told me to keep it up. But with Collin, it wasn't a violation. It was a joining, a connection. It was him beaching a part of me. And I loved it.

I leaned back onto the cushions of the bed, pulling Collin's collar. I was afraid if I let go of him, he would start apologizing again. I didn't want that. I just wanted him to keep kissing me. Every minute that he was seemed to erase a minute that I'd spent in pain in Oklahoma. And we had a lot of time to erase. Time that wouldn't be bleached from my mind if he thought of me like some fragile doll that he couldn't touch without breaking apart. He came with me, pressing deeper into the feather down of our comforter and mattress.

My hands were trapped between the two of us, feeling his heart pound against my hand. He rested his weight on his elbow, keeping that hand in my hair. His other hand roamed over my waist, finding the barely-there curve and fitting his palm to it. He pinched a little before he began traversing upwards again. With a growl that rivaled anything that I'd ever heard before, he shoved off of me and rolled onto his side. His hands, clearly much more capable than mine, tugged at my long sleeved t-shirt until he could see the scars that ran along there. Some were scabbed over, especially those that were from our ordeal with that vampire.

"Don't," I whispered, tugging the fabric back into place. "You don't want to see those; trust me," I promised him. "They're ugly." He narrowed his eyes at me. My chest was heaving, everything in me wanting more of what we'd had only moments ago. "Men, at least men like the ones Uncle Tom knew, didn't care about what I looked like. As long as I would shut up and take it however they wanted it, they were happy. How he kept me in line was up to him."

"Kept you in line?" he repeated slowly. I nodded. "He hurt you whenever you wanted things to change?" I shook my head and then stopped.

"The first time that the cops came around, they caught me when I was walking home from school. They asked me some questions about what it was like to live at his house, but I was still afraid of what he would do. When I told the cops that everything was fine and I needed to go back home, the guy said that he would walk me home. He said you never knew what kind of creeps could grab a girl like me. The irony was that all those creeps were at my house, waiting patiently for me to get there." I gave a harsh chuckle, but Collin clearly didn't think that it was worth any laughter. "Uncle Tom sent me to my room with a few of the guys. When they left for the night, he did whatever he wanted to. He wanted to make sure that I knew that I could never talk to the cops. When I did it again, it was worse."

"Which is how you ended up back here," he concluded. I nodded, keeping my fingers at the hem of my shirt to make sure he didn't try to see my scars again. "I never should have let you go, Spencer. If I had been smart, I would have found a way to get you back and nothing like this would have happened," he breathed. With both of us rolled on our sides facing each other, he slid his hand from the ever so slight dip in my waist to the more pronounced slope of my hip. He gripped the bone and flesh with near bruising force, desperate to keep me where I was. "I will never let anyone hurt you again, Spencer. I've said it before and I'm going to keep saying it until the day I know that you truly believe me. That vampire is the last person that I'm going to let hurt you."

"I do believe you, Collin," I whispered.

"Then why won't you look at me? Open your eyes, Spence. I know that what happened to you was terrible, but I promise you -"

I hadn't even realized that my eyes had drifted closed. In truth, I couldn't remember opening them again after our kiss. I was waiting, savoring the feel of his lips on mine. "I wasn't reliving it," I interrupted. "Well, I was reliving something, but not my life back in Oklahoma," I admitted. He furrowed his brows. "I was reliving… I was… I like kissing you, Collin. And I wasn't ready to get back to reality yet."

His face transformed. His eyes went wide and then crinkled with glee. His hand slid over the edge of my hip to my back. Between my tininess and his size, he was able to slide the length of his forearm along my spine. His hand massaged the nape of my neck before he pulled me closer again. I pillowed my cheek on his bicep, breathing in the manly musk of him. His lips touched my cheek first and then brushed my lips, as gentle and hesitant as ever. It didn't take very long for us to be lost in that emotion once again. I liked this, far more than I should have. I loved him. My bad times in my life were over. Collin tucked me underneath him, holding me close and pressing every line against my softness.

"Hey guys; whoa!" Brady shouted, backing out of the room with his hands held high. Collin growled ferociously again, practically vibrating the bed. "I forgot some things. I was just letting you know I was here." He peeked into the room again. "But now, I'm not here," he hastened to say, "and I'm going to get going. So I was never hear but you two have fun." He disappeared and I fought the urge to die of laughter. Collin's face, however, was anything but humorous. His normally dark eyes were practically black with fury, his lips curved up to reveal his teeth.

There was a rustling in the other room. Through the thin walls I could hear Brady rummaging through his room and muttering to himself. He wasn't there but a moment before popping his head into the window. "Make sure you two do it safe; that's all I've got to say," he called. Collin launched himself off the bed and grabbed hold of the door, slamming it closed with a loud snap and enough force to leave a crack in the middle of the wood.

Just like that, his mouth was back on mine. He kissed me sweetly again, covering the length of my body with his and swallowing every giggle that erupted from my mouth. Just when I thought I was losing my mind again, when I thought I wouldn't be able to breathe, a knock sounded on the door. He groaned and tore his mouth from mine. "What?" he shouted.

"Collin!" an angry female voice snarled.

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**I know it's been a while for this story. I'm hoping to get a double update up in the next few days to make it up to you guys, so be on the lookout. Thanks for reading!**


	29. Chapter XXVIII

**Author's Note: So, November is dubbed no-shave-November, a time during which guys don't shave. Weird, right? Well, I've decided to make this month no-skip-November, with the obvious exception of Sundays. All stories will be updated daily before midnight. In other news, those who interested in works that are ****_not_**** FanFiction can feel free to PM me and I will send you a link to my new website. Otherwise, I hope you all enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXVIII:****_ Collin's Point of View_**

She liked this. She liked me. She wasn't nearly as scared as I thought she was going to be. It was just one less hurdle that we were going to have to overcome. I'm sure that there would be more in the future, but for the moment, this was one that we were okay. Actually, we weren't. Because every single time I was lost in the feel of her lips against mine, I was getting interrupted. Although it could be a blessing in disguise. The last thing that I wanted to do was scare her.

When the angry voice, who I recognized immediately, snarled through the door, I practically screamed in frustration. Just when I thought I was getting somewhere, my ex had to walk over to my house. "I will be right back," I promised her, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. "I just have to deal with this. And I'll bring some dinner up when I come up again. But you stay right there." I kissed her again, allowing myself the pleasure of holding her close once again. The banging on the door pulled my attention away from her again.

I was snarling and growling as I thundered down the stairs, feeling like a villain in some movie. I gripped the door handle with crushing force, kind of surprised when I felt it mold under the force of my hand. I yanked it open, feeling one of the hinges snap. I had to take a deep breath before I did something I was really going to regret. "What do you want, Hannah?" I whispered, the words coming out thunder rumbling, ominous and distant but threatening nonetheless. "I haven't heard a word from you in months."

"You told me to come back when I was ready to talk," she replied. "Well, Collin, I'm ready to talk." Of all the times for this to happen, it had to be now? "Can I come in? I know that I said some things that were bad. I didn't mean them. I was just surprised. You never even mentioned that she was a girl. And then I come home and find you sitting on the couch, holding a girl like she's the most precious thing that you've ever encountered." Her anger was raging, her voice getting louder. "Can I please come in?'

"Five minutes," I agreed begrudgingly. Spencer would understand. She was the one who tried to tell me that i shouldn't break things off with Hannah because of her. "You can have five minutes and then you have to leave," I clarified. She thanked me and stepped in, taking a cautious look around the house. I knew what she was seeing, though. Spencer living with us meant that the house was cleaner than it had ever been. When Brady and I were out, Spencer devoted herself to keeping the house running. She cooked and cleaned and washed our laundry, even when we told her not to.

"I haven't see this place look this nice," she whispered. "Ever." I nodded. "I'm sorry about the things that I said. For the year that we were dating, you had nightmares and you _begged_ for Spencer. When I asked, all you ever said was that Spencer was your best friend. I just assumed that it was a boy or your brother or something. And then, like I said, I got here and you were _cuddling_ with her. You put her in our bed. You told me that I didn't matter," she whispered.

"I told you that Spencer was more important at the moment," I stated. "You were so angry that you were actually paying attention to her. She was going to die. When she got here, she looked like she was going to die. The doctors had to put stitches everywhere. You weren't exhausted. You weren't on the brink of death. You were fine. I knew that it wasn't what you wanted to hear, but my best friend needed me and you didn't." Spencer still needed me. Hannah didn't. I had waited forever to have an imprint. Spencer was the last person that I would have expected, but now that I had her, I couldn't imagine anyone else.

"But I did need you," she whispered. "Didn't you know that? It was one thing when Spencer was just your best friend that you were longing for. But when _he_ became _she_ and _she_ was in my house, I realized that I couldn't compete. How was I supposed to keep you when she was the one you'd been dreaming about for a year? Maybe longer, how could I know? I needed you to have me be more important than your best friend. And you couldn't do that."

"I would never do that," I replied. "Spencer and I are more than just best friends. She was the only person who knew what it felt like to be in the situation that I'd been in. She knew before everything got better. She'd been with me through thick and thin. She would always be more important than anyone. She's more important than my dad, than my friends, than _me_." She was everything to me. I loved her more than I thought possible to love someone. "You wouldn't have to compete with her. You would have to accept the fact that this is who she is."

"That's something that people say when they're in love with a girl," she replied. I just looked at her evenly. "Oh my God! You fell in love with her!" she shouted at me. "How could you do that to me? You told me to come back when I was ready to talk to you. You weren't supposed to fall in love with her. It's one thing to take care of a sick friend. It's a whole other thing to fall in love with her! You knew that I would be back!"

"It's been months, Hannah. I didn't think that you were coming back. I assumed that we were done," I replied. "You have said a word to me. Hell, you never even sent me a text message. How was I supposed to know that we were done?" I asked. "I told you from the day we started dating that I was doing this to have fun. It could be serious if you wanted, but I was waiting for my soulmate to come around."

"I thought _I_ was your soulmate!" she screeched. "You don't date someone for a year if you're still waiting for a soulmate. How could you do that to me?"  
"I didn't do anything, Hannah. We never had a conversation about this. You just assumed that i was in love with you. I _never_ said it to you, Hannah."

"You're shy!"

"I'm not stupid," I retorted. "I wasn't going to get your hopes. I wasn't in love with you. I knew that would be the wrong thing to do. I wasn't trying to hurt you. You and I had our fun. Maybe things could have been different but you made the choice to run away. Spencer is my best friend. I love her. i'm in love with her."

"Collin?"

I spun around at the sound of Spencer's quiet voice coming from the stairwell. I hadn't registered that everything was happening until Hannah screeched and tossed her hand up. The metallic sting of a slap burned my skin, but it wasn't _my_ skin that was stinging. It was Spencer's. Hannah had slapped my imprint. "You home wrecking slut!" Hannah snarled. Spencer's hand was up on her cheek, like she couldn't quite realize what had happened either. "I knew that you were trouble from the moment that I walked in! Pretending to be hurt to cozy up to my boyfriend."

"Hannah!" I snapped. "I think it's time for you to leave." I used the same whisper that I had earlier. "And I think it would be better for everyone if you didn't come back." Spencer was standing stock still, her arms wrapped around her waist as she stared at me. "If you ever touch her again, I promise you that you'll regret it," I added, holding the door open for her again. It was a good thing that he hadn't moved very far beyond the entry and living room. I would have been pissed to have her here longer than necessary."

My blonde ex-girlfriend followed me. She stopped when she got to the doorway. "You make think you're special, you whore. But here's something you may not be aware of. I dated him for a year and I can promise you that I had never heard anything about_ you_ in that time. He may have replaced me with you, but ultimately, he'll finish with you too. Because you weren't even important enough for him to tell me," she said. The final barb thrown, she left.

Spencer gave a pained gasp and dashed up the stairs. "Spence wait! You can't honestly believe her!"


	30. Chapter XXIX

**Author's Note: Planning a double update for SATURDAY. Let the month of no-skip-November begin! Happy Reading, all!**

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**Chapter XXIX:****_ Collin's Point of View_**

"Spencer, please!" I shouted at her, banging on the door. I could hear drawers rattling. I half expected to find all of my things on the ground outside the window when I finally went outside. "Spencer, you have to listen to me. Hannah is lying. I have been dreaming about you for years now. _Years_. Do you hear me? Hannah asked me questions and I wouldn't give her an answer. That's why she was saying those things." She didn't answer me. "Come on, Spencer! I chose you over her. Doesn't that mean something?"

Of course it didn't mean something. She was Spencer. She would always come first. "Spencer, will you please talk to me?" A zipper zapped shut. The door yanked open. Spencer appeared before me, her eyes red rimmed and brimming with tears. "Spence, please listen to me. Hannah is just trying to get you to be angry at me. Please listen to me. I love you. I don't want to be with anyone but you. You have got to believe me. I swear that I had a reason for not telling her. I promise."

She brushed passed me and marched downstairs, throwing her duffle bag against the wall next to the door. "You can't leave, Spencer. What if something happens to you? I won't be there to protect you," I pointed out. The second that the words left my mouth and she turned to look at me, I realized that the words might not have been the correct ones. Her eyes were burning, black fire that looked almost purple in the bright light of the kitchen. She glared at me with a hatred that I would have never thought I would ever see in her eyes.

"You weren't around to protect me for the last five years and I managed to get through life just fine," she snapped at me. "Apparently, you went with the out of sight out of mind approach. Because that girl had no idea who I was. Sure, she'd heard you scream my name, but you never told your _girlfriend_ who I was. Do you have any idea what that feels like?" She marched into the kitchen and started searching the drawers for her car keys. She hadn't a reason to drive the beat up old car since she got here. "I prayed every night that you would come to find me."

"I should have come after you. I can't apologize for that anymore. The words are getting old for the both of us," I replied. She shook her head.

"Answer me this, would have you come after me if I hadn't come here?" Of course I would have come after her. At some point, I would have been driven to find her. She was my soulmate. "You can't tell me, can you? Because in you're head, you're saying that you would have gotten to me _eventually_ right? Your friends had no idea who I was. Your girlfriend thought I was a guy. I left here because no one could keep me and you didn't even try to keep in contact. Do you have any idea what _that_ feels like? To know that the only person that you loved completely forgot about you?"

"I didn't forget about you, Spence," I whispered.

"I'm going over to Tucker's house. I'll be sleeping on the couch over there for the next few days," she announced.

"Please, Spencer, don't do this to me."

"You can come over there and see me if it makes the wolf feel better," she replied, final finding the keys. They jingled in her hand as she stooped down and grabbed her bag. "I just need a little time to breathe." She stepped up and pressed a kiss to my cheek before turning and beginning the march other car. I told myself to shout after her. I told myself to go after her, to explain it all. But I couldn't make myself do it. For whatever reason, she was angry enough to walk away from me. I loved her, but I could never force her to do something that she didn't want to. And I couldn't force her to stay.

"Is it safe for me to come in?" Brady asked the next morning. I had lost track of time, staring at the television and doing nothing. "I'm going to take that as a yes. What fun did the two of you get into last night?" he asked me. I shook my head. "Oh come on! I'm just going to see it all in your head later. You might as well tell me." I didn't respond. "Unless of course you guys did something _really_ bad, n which case I don't need to know.

"She left."

"We needed groceries, Col. You can't keep her in your bed forever," Brady laughed.

"No; Hannah came over and started shouting about how was cheating on her. And then she told Spencer that in the year that we'd dated, she'd never heard of her."

"Ooh, that's bad."

"You're telling the wrong person," I muttered. "She's never going to forgive me. She thinks that I just ignored her existence while she was off being tortured by her uncle."

"You should go after her," Brady said.

"You don't get it, Brady. I can't just grafter her and drag her back," I breathed. "If I do, she'll assume that I'm just forcing her into something that she doesn't want to be a part of. I can't do that to her. She's my best friend. She's my imprint. I love her."

"Okay, I'll admit that I'm no expert on women. And I think that we can both agree that I know virtually nothing about imprints, because I don't have one," he said. "I do know something about actions. I know that they break families apart and bring people back together. I've seen it, remember?" I nodded, thinking that I would have gone through his history if it could have saved me from mine. "You can't just let her go, Collin. If you do, she's going to think that everything that she accused you of is right. I'm inside your head. I know that you thought about her every damn day. I know that you were tortured by nightmares. I know that you warred with yourself. I know that you wanted to go find her. You can't let her think that she's right about this or you will never get her back."

Feeling like a girl, I jumped to my feet and headed out the back door. "Go to her!" Brady shouted in a fake British accent. He waved his hand like some kind of stage actor. I rolled my eyes at his ridiculousness and began the run to Tucker and Seth's.

The house smelled like children. And Spencer. I could smell her in the house, the sweet, innocent tangy scent of her. She was safe and here. She was sitting in window seat of the house, a blanket pooled in her lap while she watched the wind whip the pine needles around the air. She didn't look happy. She didn't look like she was enjoying herself. She looked like she wanted to be anywhere but where she was. I tapped on the glass, making her jump. "Please come back," I mouthed. She sighed heavily, her chest giving one great heave.

She pulled the blanket from her lap, dropping it on the ground next to the cushioned seat. She muttered something over her shoulder and began the walk to the front. The too-long sleeves of her sweater dangled a little as she wrapped her arms around herself. "What are you doing here?" she asked in her quiet Spencer voice. The same voice that she used after getting yelled at.

"You said that I could come here and talk to you," I replied.

"I didn't think that you would actually take me up on the offer," she admitted. "Then again, I didn't really think you'd let me leave."

"I shouldn't have."

"Yes, you should. You can't keep me prisoner in your house. We're going to have disagreements. And if you get in the habit of commanding me to get over it, we're never going to work through them."

"We can't work through them if you're not home," I pointed out.

"We can't work through them if I'm so angry at you that I can't see straight," she retorted. "I need some time to come get my head together before we can talk. I just need a few days. I'm not asking for much."

"Can I still come and see you?" She shook her head. "Why not? You said that I could. I only just got you back from that vampire. Please, Spencer. Don't do this to me. I can't take it."

"I'll be safe and we both know it. Tucker and Seth won't let anything happen to me. Just give me a few days and then I'll come home."

"How many?"

"Four. Okay? Four days. Can you handle that?"

No. "Yeah." She walked away, taking my sanity with her.


	31. Chapter XXX

**Author's Note: So, here's a fun fact: FanFiction wasn't aware of my no-skip-November rule. They can't possibly be since they locked me out of my account yesterday. Anyways, that would be why I couldn't update yesterday. Either way, here's the next chapter. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXX**

I had lied to Collin when I said that he could come and see me. I had been hoping that he would leave me alone to gather my thoughts. He'd seen the girl for a year and he'd never actually talked about me. What was I supposed to assume? I needed time to think. I needed to be away from him. My brain didn't really function when I was with him. I needed a chance to get things straight in my head. I was just too angry at the moment. "You're going to have to talk to him at some point," Sue said. Had I'd known that I picked the night of Tucker and Seth's date, I would've gone to one of the other girls'. "I've seen first hand what it does to these boys when you imprints get upset."

I curled my knees against my chest and wrapped my hands about them, resting my chin against my knees. "Didn't you ever get upset with your husband?" I asked her. I instantly wished that I hadn't, though. Her face turned sad, like she didn't want to think about those memories. "I'm sorry; that was insensitive of me. Forget I said anything."

"No, no. Don't you worry about that," she whispered, though her voice still sounded bleak. "Collin told us once that you didn't have a real parent. And you never knew your father, right?" I nodded. "Well then, I hope that you will think of me like a parent for you. Or at least someone that you can come to when you've questions about relationships." I smiled a little at her, wrapping my arms tight around myself to keep me steady. "Now, back to your question. There were many times that Harry and I got in arguments. There was more than once where he actually left."

"Left?" That didn't sound like the brief stories that I'd heard. From the way the rest of the Pack, and the Tribal Elders I'd met, told it, Sue and Harry Clearwater had the ideal relationship. I shook my head slightly to clear the notion from my brain.

"No, I assure you, Harry and I had our arguments. We were just smart enough to hide them from the kids. They don't know this, but when Harry was little, his parents fought nonstop. Even on Christmas. So one of the first things we agreed on was to avoid fighting in front of our children. Years later, his parents went to see a marriage counselor and got there stuff straightened out. But Harry and I never stopped our little habit," she explained. "The one thing that we never did was leave forever. Harry was never gone for more than an hour or two. We talked that night and our problems were dealt with."

"You two were married," I replied. "There weren't secrets and years between you guys."

"Ah, so that's what this is about," she said in an enlightened voice. "What happened?" I explained. I unburdened myself on the woman. By the time that I was finished, she had her arms wrapped tight around me and was pillowing my head on her chest. I wondered if this is what having a mother really felt like. She was stroking my hair and holding me close while I spoke. "Spencer, just because he didn't tell this girl about you doesn't mean that he doesn't care," she said. "And it doesn't mean that he was hiding something or that he'd forgotten about you. It means that she was never the right one for him."

"What?" I asked in a weepy voice. I brushed my wet cheeks.

"Do you know how Collin's best friend is?"

"Brady."

"No, silly; you," she laughed. "Brady and the rest of the Pack found out all about you one day when Collin fell asleep." I frowned at her. How could she know this? "My daughter likes to talk to me. Especially after she found love. Anyways," she waved her hand like the tangent was smoke that she could brush away. "Collin always had trouble sleeping and one night, he decided to go for a run. According to Leah, he ran himself ragged. He was so tired, he could barely sit up straight. He fell asleep and, as always, began dreaming. About you." I knew this. I knew that Collin had nightmares about me. "Everyone had heard of you in some capacity or another. Some of them just knew about you because you went to school and stuff. But _no one_ knew your guys's history."

"But Brady —"

"Brady may be Collin's _second _best friend, but he's nothing compared to you. You are the only person that he actually trusts. He told them about you, about your guys's childhoods after everyone else found out," she replied. "He doesn't trust anyone else, least of all this _Hannah_ girl. He wouldn't tell her because he couldn't trust her. His gut told him that he couldn't trust her. He knew that down to his very core."

"How do you date someone you can't trust for a year, Sue?" I asked.

"That wasn't dating; that was waiting for the right girl to come back into town," she said "Collin always knew that one day, he would imprint. He wasn't dating; he was biding his time. Now, why don't you do the both of you a favor and go and get your boy."

"I'm so angry, Sue," I replied. "I feel like he didn't care about me enough to tell the girl that he was dating."

"Take a walk," she said, her hand still petting my hair over and over again. "Go for a walk, maybe walk downtown and get some coffee or tea. Whatever suits your fancy, really. But go and calm down, think about what I'm saying, and then go home. Even if you're still angry, go home, Spencer. You have to go home and talk to him. Yell at him. Tell him you think he's the biggest asshole to walk the planet. But don't cut him out. You'll hurt the both of you."

She was right. I wanted Collin, even now. I was quietly sitting in a house that I didn't belong in and I knew that. Every fiber of my body knew that. "Go home, Spencer," she repeated. Like the words had freed me, I gathered my purse and car keys and bolted out the door.

Deciding that the cafes in town were all too close, I headed towards the Starbucks that was somewhere in Forks. I just needed a little more time to think. It was true that I was the only person that Collin trusted. I knew that because he was the only person that I truly trusted. There were things that I told people, things that I didn't think were important. Trivial things.

"Like the fact that Collin didn't tell his girlfriend about me," I whispered out loud to the car. I had told Sue all about it. I told her what it felt like. I told her how much it hurt. I told her everything that I thought and felt because it didn't matter. At the end of the day, Collin loved me. Who cared what his slut of an ex-girlfriend thought of me? Who cared if she'd never heard of me? She wasn't an important factor in my life and I wasn't in hers. And then there was the added worry that Hannah was lying to me. She could be lying to me. There was no reason for her to tell me the truth. She was after my boyfriend.

And it wasn't important that Collin hadn't told anyone else about me. What Sue said had made complete sense. Collin wouldn't have told someone that he didn't trust because he would have seen that as betraying _my_ trust. It wasn't his story to tell. They weren't _his_ answers to give. "I am such a bitch!" I shouted to myself. Because if ever the situation had been reversed, I would have done the same. I wouldn't have said a damned word about Collin because questions would be asked.

People want to know who your best friend is. They want to know where you met. What was he supposed to say? _"Hannah, my best friend is a girl named Spencer. We met when we were both going to buy drugs for our parents."_ The words sounded retarded even in my own head. And I knew our history. I hopped out of the car, figuring that I should buy coffee since I was already here. And it wouldn't hurt to go buy Collin's favorite foods in lieu of apology.

I ordered my drink and stood there, thinking about the food that i could make for dinner. Now that everything made sense to me, I felt worse than a bitch. I had denied him the chance to even speak. He could have explained everything right away. Or, at least, he could have tried. "Venti caramel latte, extra hot," the girl called, putting the paper mug up on the counter. I smiled at her as I took it, though I could tell she was staring at one of the scars that marked my face. I thanked her and turned, coming face to face with my own worst nightmare.

"Hello Spencer."

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**I mean really, what did you guys expected me to do? Until tomorrow!**


	32. Chapter XXXI

**Author's Note: Ask and ye shall receive. At least for this story. I was already planning a double update for one day this week. It might as well be tonight. Now, it's one thing to proofread ****_a_**** chapter. It's a whole other thing to proofread ****_four_**** chapters. So this is it for tonight. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXXI**

"What are you doing here?" I asked in a quiet voice. He looked nothing like himself. There were scars traversing his face, a map leading to the evil sneer that I'd always seen on his face. "How did you find me, Uncle Tom?" I demanded. My head was shouting at me, screaming at me in anger. If I had let Collin explain, then I wouldn't be separated from him. And I'd broken the cardinal rule and left the reservation. Collin was probably sitting at home, wallowing in his misery. Misery that I had caused. I had no one to blame but myself.

"It's not like you're hard to find," he drawled out. "I knew you was gonna come back here. You talked 'bout it in your sleep." After all the time that I'd spent around Collin and his friends, Uncle Tom's poor grammar and speech sounded even worse. I was just glad that it was one thing I hadn't picked up. "You ask around a little bit and find the right people," he shrugged. "Seems you made a few enemies 'round these parts." I took a deep breath and looked at the coffee, feeling its warmth in my hand.

I could throw it. I could toss the scalding liquid at his face and run. If I could make it to the car, I could get back to La Push and into Collin's house. Even in the middle of our little strop, Collin would still let me in the house. When I explained that Uncle Tom was here, we could forget the argument for the moment and move on to the more important things. "Don't you go thinking about doing anything stupid, Spencer," he threatened. "You're already in enough trouble as it is."

"I'm not afraid of you," I lied. I was terrified. I could feel my heart beating unsteadily in my chest, tripping over my anxiety. "Whatever enemies you've met, I have friends that outnumber them," I warned.

"You've never had any friends, Spencer. We both know it." I began to tremble with disgust. "Unless you're talking about that boy you always dreamed about." I tossed my startled gaze to him, fear clawing at my throat. "You forget just how long you lived with me, Spencer. I heard you screaming and begging for him. Did he fuck you better than the rest?" I felt vomit rise in the pit of my stomach. "How mad you think he's gonna be when he has to pay for it now?" He shrugged again. "Guess he'll be a good customer."

"What are you talking about?" I demanded. I pursed my lips so that he wouldn't have to see there fearful shaking.

"I ain't found one good dealer out this way. I think we can set up a new business out here," he said. "I might need to, uh, _promote_ you a little more to get us on our feets, but I think it'll work."

"You won't touch me again."

"You bitch. You think I came all this way to see how you was doin'?" he asked. "You cost me my home, Spencer. If I don't start paying those people back, they'll find you too."

"I was just your prostitute," I retorted. "They can come after me. I have nothing to offer them."

"'Cept your body," he chortled. "You come with me and we start making payments, or trust me, they'll come after you. You owe me this much girl."

"I owe you nothing."

"I took care of you."

"You whored me out!" My blood was boiling enough to throw the five dollar coffee I had just paid for. I listened to the satisfying cry of pain he gave while I raced towards my car. Well, technically it was _his_ car. But it would get me home. It would get me to Collin.

I was only a few feet away from the car when the hand wrapped around my arm and spun me to the ground. I found myself praying that quiet little Forks would suddenly become a bustling city, that people would notice that I had just bashed my head against the pavement. "I don't have anything to give!" I shrieked, looking frantically around the parking lot in the hope that someone would appear to rescue me. They wouldn't. There were maybe fifteen cars in the entire lot and I would assume that all of them were in the store, if they weren't all the cafe's employees.

"You come with us, or you'll regret it," Uncle Tom hissed in my ear.

"Why would I come with you?" I coughed.

"You said yourself, you got friends in this town, Spencer. Be a shame for those friends to come to harm 'cause you's too selfish to help the uncle whose life you ruined." He couldn't hurt Collin. Collin was the closest thing to a superhero that existed. Let him try to go after my friends. They were wolves. He wouldn't be able to hurt them.

Then a picture of Lacey and Wesley and Westyn popped into my head. Uncle Tom may not be able to hurt the wolves, but he could hurt the imprints. He could hurt the children. Little Claire had already been through enough. Jay didn't know when to shut up. Uncle Tom would beat him senseless just to get him to submit. And the rest of those kids… They were just too little to know the kind of life that I had known. Imagine if it was Penn's little daughter Lizzie that had to go through that pain? No; I could never forgive myself if it was my family that caused the others that kind of pain.

"I'll go with you," I sighed. "But you can't step foot on my home." Uncle Tom's eyes narrowed. "I'll do whatever you ask me to. But you stay away from La Push."

"Why would I want to go near that place anyways?" he asked with a laugh. "Get up off the ground; you're causing a scene," he commanded. "We got a place not too far from here. I'll drive." He tore the keys from my hand, managing to slice my palm in the process.

Collin would never forgive me for this. I was choosing to go back this time. And after our fight…

I had no doubt that he would see this as me running away. He didn't give me the life that I wanted because he didn't tell Hannah, so I went back to my uncle. _No_. My brain screamed the word at me. Collin knew me better than that. He knew that I wouldn't go back to that life. He had to know. He loved me. I had to do this to protect my family. Those people were my family again. I couldn't let _my_ uncle hurt them. My breathing roughened as we drove to the outskirts of Forks.

The area was greener than Oklahoma had been, but it had the same look. It was rundown houses, empty shacks that looked like they should be burned to the ground. It would be a good improvement to the way that they looked at the moment. I shouldn't be surprised that my uncle found these places.

It became clear, when he pulled to a stop, that the house was, in fact, abandoned. The windows were boarded up, the glass having been smashed in. I'm sure my uncle had found some way to get the water and electricity turned back on. I'd never seen him pay a bill in my lifetime, but our services were never shut off. I'd seen the failure to pay notices, but we'd never had anything turned off. I didn't question it, for fear that I would be sent down to the storm cellar to see what it was really like without water and light.

"This is home," he announced. "We ain't got a room for you, but you'll by fine on the ground by the stove." It wasn't a question, so I didn't bother to answer. "You forgot your manners already, girl? I don't feel like having to teach you all over again," he snarled. The sentence made something very clear to me, though. I wasn't going to be okay with him treating me the way he had again. I had seen that life could be done other ways. It was one thing to force men upon me. I wasn't going to let him break me again. "You've gotten fat," he said, tossing me against the stove. "What they been feeding you?"

"Food," I retorted, drawing my knees up to my chest.

"You got money in that thing?"

"No." It wasn't a lie. There was no money in my purse. It had been hidden in my car, where no one would find it.

"Guess we gonna have to stop giving you that food," he said, looking over me. "People don't pay to fuck a fat girl." I knew better than to think that I was fat. But I was getting stronger. He couldn't have that. I could fight off his patrons now. "I'm hungry. Get dinner going."

I rose to my feet, only to be smacked to the ground again. "You forget? I'm hungry. Get dinner going," he repeated.

"Yes," I whispered.

My cheek stung again, the blow catching me by surprise. "Yes what?"

"Yes, sir."


	33. Chapter XXXII

**Author's Note: Please review! Happy reading!**

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**Chapter XXXII**

I fell asleep by the stove. My uncle had been kind enough to put it on the lowest temperature, barely above warm. The heat was a much welcome addition, since I had no blanket. I curled my arms under my head in place of the pillow that I didn't have. It dawned on me that I'd had a better life living with my junkie more than I did living with my CPS appointed guardian. At least with my mother, I'd had a couch to sleep on. And Collin. With my mother, I'd had Collin to wrap his arms around me and protect me from the demons of the night.

When I woke, I had pressed my back fully against the warm metal of the appliance. It was nothing like waking up in Collin's arms. I had been such a bitch to him. I should never have allowed myself to get that angry. I shouldn't have hurt him the way that I did. I was only stuck here with my uncle again because I'd run away from Collin. He would never forgive me for this. But I could never forgive myself if something happened to my new family.

"Breakfast." The hoarse command startled me. I could clearly remember the last time I'd heard the voice. It had been the day of the arrest, the day that the fire ruined everything, the day that my life began again. I called back the correct response and shoved myself up from the ground. My spine gave a mighty crackle and pop as I moved about the small kitchen. The food that should have been in the fridge was pressed into a cooler, surrounded by ice. My fingers were numb when I finished digging through the styrofoam box for the eggs. And a beer.

Uncle always needed a beer with his meals. It didn't matter what the meal was. Perhaps this was why I was so obsessed with keeping Collin's house clean. it was just habit now. I didn't know how to be anything but someone's slave. I didn't know how to be something other than a care taker. But taking care of Collin's house was nothing like this. This was torture. When I was taking care of Collin, I didn't feel like a slave. I felt like a partner, a wife. I felt cared about, like the things that I did mattered.

That was the way that my life was. For the next week, I made him breakfast every morning and brought it to him. I made his lunch, his dinner. I tried desperately to clean a house that no one knew we lived in. I hadn't showered. I had barely eaten anything, but was managing to keep myself hydrated. With any luck, I would get out of here looking better than I had the last time.

"I'm having friends over for dinner," Uncle Tom announced when I leaned over and sat the plate of eggs in his lap on the ninth morning.

"Yes sir," I replied demurely.

"I want this house to be perfect." I repeated my response. "You do what's expected of you," he added. I took a deep breath and gave the same two word whisper. I didn't want it. I hadn't wanted it back then, but now—knowing that I had Collin waiting for me somewhere, I wanted nothing to do with Uncle Tom. Except that I couldn't get away. I would never be able to away.

I repeated the phrase again and gain, the problem was that I wasn't getting anywhere. I couldn't get away from my uncle or the men that he would find to use me. In the olden days, that would have been enough to tell me to lie down and accept my fate. Or stand up; whatever the men paid for, really. I knew nothing else. There was no sense in fighting what I couldn't escape. "Some good biscuits would be nice," he said. I nodded and gave my standard response.

When my uncle's friends arrive that night, I sank down on the floor beside the stove for warmth. The nights in Forks and La Push got so cold, the breeze from the ocean blowing in. I huddled for warmth and listened to my uncle negotiate for my body. He would only allow certain things to be done to me, at least for the moment. He had to ensure that I was put back on birth control, since everyone one what condoms weren't completely effective. At least I could say that he had some care for me, even if I was just his investment. "The kitchen table is the best that I have for us," he said in his business like tone that sounded so off in his poor English.

"I'm so sorry, Collin," I whispered. There could be no choice. If I didn't do this, that make could find my family and ruin them. I couldn't allow it.

When the men started filing into the kitchen, though, I realized that I could never allow this either. I couldn't be held by some other man. I couldn't let anyone else touch me. All that I wanted was Collin. "Spencer, get on the table," Uncle Tom commanded. It wasn't the first time in my life that he'd commanded something like this of me.

"No."

"She ain't been with me the last few months," he said. "Her manners ain't so great right now. We gonna work on 'em." The men gave their ideas for spankings and other obscenities I couldn't be asked to repeat. "Spencer, you get on this table."

"No."

"Bitch—" he cursed, his hand reaching out over my face with a metallic slap. "Get your ass on the table or we's gonna have to make you."

"No!"

I bolted then, running towards the front door. "Y'all gonna need to go. We'll try again tomorrow. I need to teach the bitch some manners," he snarled. I fumbled with the handle for a few minutes, not able to make the damn thing work. I jiggled and jiggled but it wouldn't open. "Spencer, you come back here. I don't want to find those friends of yours."

The door was thrust open. The wood flew off the hinges, taking me with it. I felt my head crack against the back wall. "Where is she?" the wolfish voice growled. Relief purled through, rolling over me like a gentle whispered. The house emptied just as suddenly as Collin had arrived. None of my uncles _friends_ wanted to be tied to this fight when the cops arrived. "Spencer?"

I shoved the wooden door off of me with a cough that burned the back of my throat. Collin rushed forward, his hands outstretched to take me into his arms. "I wouldn't do that," my uncle said. I heard the unmistakable cocking of a gun, a sound that I wished that I didn't recognize as well as I did. The barrel of the gun was pressed into my temple, sending more fear coursing through me. "I'd hate to kill my money. I'd have to find another. Ain't an easy thing to do."

"Spencer, are you okay?" Collin asked. I nodded, feeling the tears slip down my cheeks. I was okay. Bruised and battered from my uncle's reminders about my manners; hungry from lack of food. And starving for the comfort that only the boy before me could give. "You listen to me, Spence. It's going to be okay. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." How could he not understand that it wasn't me I was afraid for? I could take pain. I could deal with fear. I couldn't throw those burdens on little girls like Claire or Lacey.

"That's some big talk for a man who don't got a weapon," Uncle Tom said. "If you try anything, I may just have to kill you." Collin was a fast healer and in good health, but he wasn't invincible. "Let's work on those manners. Spencer, take your shirt off."

"Don't do it, Spence. He can't do anything to me. It's going to be okay," Collin said.

Uncle Tom turned the gun quickly and shot. Collin gave a cry, a small puddle of blood appearing in his calf. "Collin!" I shouted, lunging towards him, only to be brought up short by the gun's barrel again.

"Let's try again. Spencer, take your shirt off."

"Yes, sir," I sobbed. I pulled the shirt over my head, leaving me standing there in nothing more than a tattered bra. "Please don't hurt him. I'll do whatever you want."

The shot rang out again, but Collin didn't cry out. The hole marred the ground instead of his flesh. "I don't remember asking you to speak," Tom said. "Your pants next."

"Yes, sir." I slid the denim down my scar-mapped legs. The shot rang out. That meant three. He could only have two left. Collin grunted.

"Why!"

"You know how to do it right. You ain't listening to good," he shook his head sadly. "Here's the big test. You tell your little boyfriend here that you done with him. You tell him to leave and walk him out. He comes back, you die."

"Collin, you need to leave." He was clutching at his stomach now. He couldn't take any more. He couldn't heal himself if he was dead. "I don't want to see you anymore."

"I am not leaving you here with him, Spencer."

"You have to go," I said. "Come on." I tried my best to help him up.

"I'm not leaving you," he repeated.

"I'm so sorry for the things that I said. I hope that you'll forgive me."

"I was never mad at you. Come with me."

"He'll kill you, Collin. I can't let him do that." I shook my head and wished that I could kiss him. "I love you. You need to go, though. He'll come after the others if I don't listen to him." He shook his head. "I love you." I shoved him out the threshold, wishing that there was a door to close in his face. I needed to keep him safe.

The gun was pointed at the back of my head, the metal digging into my scalp. "You get on out of here, boy. We don't need you here, do we Spencer?" I shook my head, tears tripping over my cheeks. He was hunched over, his wound still bleeding. It couldn't heal while the thing still digging into him.

"I'm coming back for you," he snarled, glaring at my uncle.

He jogged, although with a limp, to the forest. He was probably going to get his friends, to get the Pack. "Guess it's too bad we ain't gonna be here," my uncle said. "Get in the kitchen."

In just my underwear, I tripped towards the kitchen. He fumbled with the gas stove, not lighting the flames, but allowing the gas to leak into the house. "Them boys were complaining that you ain't pretty enough no more. You're old now. I can't just let them bastards use you. You got too many scars."

"Scars that _you_ gave me!"

"Time to trade in for the new model," he declared. "But after that stunt you pulled with them cops in Oklahoma, I can't risk it again." I narrowed my eyes. "I hope this don't hurt too bad," he said.

He was backing to the backdoor before I realized what was happening. The gun clicked, his aim perfect. The bullet hit the stove, the flash igniting the gas that had been escaping into the room. And my uncle… Well he was gone. And me?

I was being swallowed by the flames.


	34. Chapter XXXIII

**Author's Note: Don't worry, we're almost done with all the sadness. And then we're going to get some happy fluffiness and possibly a mature chapter...? Let me know what you guys want, okay? Okay. Happy Reading!**

**Chapter XXXIII: ****_Collin's Point of View_**

Difficult as it was, I let Spencer stew overnight. She was angry and she needed her time to think. I could give her a night to get her thoughts together and decide what she wanted to do. After all, it was her choice. The next morning, I waited until I knew she would be up to head over to the house. Ryanne stood in the entryway, readying a little Lacey for a walk, I assumed. "Hey, is Spence here?" I asked, not even bothering to knock as I barged my way in.

Ryanne frowned. "Sue said that Spencer left yesterday. They talked and then Spencer decided that she needed to go home." It was my turn to frown then. It wasn't like La Push was a big city. Hell, even if Spencer had decided to drive to Port Angeles and back, she would have made it home yesterday. "Didn't she come home?" she asked. I shook my head. "Would she have somewhere else to go? You know, like her mom's or your dad's or something." Spencer wouldn't go to those places. None of this was making any sense. "I'm sure she's around."

Even as she said the words, I could tell that she was worried. "Yeah, I'll go by her old house. Maybe she went there to think," I said soothingly. I highly doubted that Spencer would ever walk into the rat infested hell hole ever again. It held no good memories for her. Still, I didn't need to get shit from Jake about working his imprint into a tizzy when Spencer was more than likely around town somewhere. "She may have stopped by her mom's grave." Though that thought was logical, it didn't explain why she'd been gone overnight.

I stepped into her mom's house, the rancid smell of mold seeping into my nostrils. It had always smelled this way, but back when I was little, it hadn't been as prevalent. Damn wolf senses made every good thing better and every bad thing worse. "Spencer?" I called into the rotting darkness. There was no response. I couldn't hear her heartbeat, either. Her scent wasn't lingering over the putrid stank either. She wasn't here. "Where the hell did you get to?" I muttered to myself before deciding to try my dad's. Well, to go and sniff at the house, at least.

I had left my father's the second that I turned eighteen and I had never looked back. I could never bring myself to regret leaving, either. But I was too much of a coward to face him. I was too afraid that he would find some way to make me feel guilty and I wouldn't be able to escape again. For the entirety of my life, he'd made his decisions. He'd gotten rid of everything that i cared about one by one. It was only fair that he lay in the bed that he had made. I refused to be around to fix it.

It quickly became clear that Spencer wasn't there either. My father was snoring, his heart beating erratically in his chest. But no Spencer. She was at her old house, she wasn't at my father's, she wasn't at her mother's grave. It was like she had vanished into thin air. Eventually, I had to give up. I circled back to Seth and Tucker's, but could only smell her until she got into the car. Then her scent disappeared amidst the smog and smoke. Maybe she had managed to get back home, finally.

I jogged to my house, but it wasn't her scent that I encountered. It was Hannah's. "What the hell are you doing here?" I demanded rudely. If she hadn't been there to start with, Spencer wouldn't have gotten mad at me. Why would I ever tell the woman anything about my past? Least of all, about my best friend? From the very beginning, Hannah had made it clear that she cared about herself above all others. Unlike Spencer. My imprint was caring, willing to sacrifice her very life if someone would just show her kindness. That was evident in the incident with that Volturi vamp.

"I came to apologize," Hannah said. "I shouldn't have said those things to that bitch in the house. It just came out. I have a pretty nasty jealous streak." You don't say. "Look, I came to tell you that i was sorry about the way that things happened. But she's gone now," she said. I frowned. How did she know that Spencer was gone? I mean, it didn't take much to figure out that we'd argued after her comment the other night, but she was saying it as if she knew Spencer had disappeared off the face of the planet. "You and I can go back to the way things were."

"Where did she go?" I snarled. "How do you know that Spencer's gone?"

"Her uncle was waiting at the Kum-n-Go the other day. I was working and he came in with her picture. Said he was looking for her and asked if I'd seen her. I told him where you lived and all that. He said he was worried about her," she said innocently. But the gleam in her eyes was anything but innocent. She'd known that the man would hurt my imprint and she'd still pointed her in her direction.

"Why would you do that?" I growled. I found my fingers twitching, fighting the urge to wrap themselves around that skinny neck and pin her against the wall. "Why would you do that to her!" It didn't take a rocket scientist to know that Spencer had been beaten when she'd come back to La Push. How could Hannah do this? How could I have dated someone like her. "He's going to kill her, Hannah! Are you going to be able to live with yourself when you have her blood on your hands?"

"You're being overdramatic, Collin. She's just fine. The CPS appointed his guardianship, remember." I narrowed my eyes. I had never said a word to Hannah about the CPS, about the day that Spencer had been taken from me. I had never said a word to her about her uncle. "What's that look for?" she asked suspiciously.

I growled and marched forward, crowding around her. "What did you do?" I barked. She balked. "What did you do? I never told you anything about Spencer? What the hell did you do to her?" I snarled. I could feel the anger rolling off me, sending ripples through my bones.

"I didn't do anything!" she shouted.

"You're lying to me. How did you find him?" I had marched forward until her back was pressed against the woodgrain of my house, her hands held up as if to ward me off. "What did you do!" I shouted.

"I called in a favor. I have a girlfriend in the CPS office in Seattle," she admitted hurriedly. "I had her pull Spencer's file. It was just coincidence that her uncle showed up at the gas station that day. I promise. I didn't call him or anything like that." My eyes were practically slits as I glared at her.

"You were going to call him," I figured out. "It may have been coincidence that he was there, but you were going to _call_ him if he hadn't come. You were going to ship Spencer back to the man that raped her!" Her brows drew together in confusion. "There's something that's not in her file, you witch. Spencer's uncle makes meth. He sold Spencer out whenever he could to keep himself from getting killed. He didn't give two shits about her. You just sent her back to her execution."

"I didn't know!" she tried to shout.

I threw a fist in the house, feeling the building shudder. "You are going to be responsible for her death, Hannah. I hope you can live with that!" There were tears running down her cheeks, but I didn't feel bad. "I never loved you. Any hope that you could have that we could get our _thing_ back is dead now. You sent the only girl I've ever loved to the slaughterhouse. _You_ killed her!"

"Quit yelling at me!" she finally shouted back. "You're more to blame than I am. You should have told me that she was a girl. You should have told me what her life was like. This wouldn't have happened if you had just been honest with me. Instead, you had to be Mr. Stoic. You didn't want me to see you when you were hurting. You didn't want to talk about it. If she dies, it's because your head was too far up your own ass to be able to take good care of her."

"If she dies, it's because you aided a drug dealer in a kidnapping! And don't think I won't let the cops know that," I snapped. But the truth was that it was my fault. If Spencer died, it would still by my fault. I never should have let her leave the house. I should have kept her with me where she was safe. Even if I had to ignore her and more her into the guest bedroom, I should've stopped her from leaving. "Goodbye, Hannah," I added, my voice darker than I had thought possible.

I sprinted through the forest on human legs, not willing to use the time necessary to phase. "Nate!" I shouted. Leah's husband Nate, the single male imprint of our Pack and current chief of police for Forks, would be able to help me. "Nate, I need your help."

"Dude, if you wake up my kids, I'll kill you. I just got them down for their naps," he said, slipping out the front door. Then he noticed the frantic look on my face.

"He took Spencer. We have to find him. You have to help me." I have to save her.


	35. Chapter XXXIV

**Author's Note: Enjoy tonight's chapter. Please remember that there are no updates on Sundays, so no chapters tomorrow. Happy Reading!**

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**Chapter XXXIV:****_ Collin's Point of View_**

As much as I was loathe to do it, I had to wait. I needed to do things by the book. I needed to make sure that at the end of this, I could have the man arrested. I needed to make sure that he couldn't hurt my Spencer ever again. "He's in Forks; I know he is Nate," I told him. "If you'll just let me track him, then you can get to him. I can find him." I could find Spencer. I could stop everything now.

"And if I let you find him, what am I supposed to say on my report?" Nate replied. "I have to keep things legal, Collin. I don't have any CI's registered. I have no excuse to give." I didn't need an excuse. I needed my imprint. "You're the one who wants to do this legal. You're the one who wants him put away for good. I can't right a report and say that my supernatural friend phased into a wolf and tracked the bad guy down. It doesn't work like that. I need you to give me a little time to get this together."

"And while I'm giving you time, who knows what he's doing to Spencer!" I shouted. "It's been three days, Nate. How much longer would you wait if this was Leah?" We'd both agreed that I couldn't go and find Spencer myself. Not if I wanted to keep everything by the book. I wouldn't be able to stop myself from killing the man, or at the very least maiming him. "Am I just supposed to let that man hurt her?" Nate sighed. "I know that you have a family to take care of. I know you can't work day and I night, but I _need_ to find her."

"I'm on it," he promised. "I put in some calls to some people in Oklahoma. I'm waiting to hear back. Hopefully tomorrow." But it wasn't tomorrow. It took us a whole week to find out all the things that we needed to; a week before Nate would give me the go ahead. Finally, he told me that I could go and find her. My waiting had been made worse by the pain that I could feel every day. The ache in my face that told me that she was being beaten again. "He's in a house, on the bad side of Forks," Nate said, scrawling the address down for me. I knew the area well. I was going to get her out of there. "I'll meet you down there." I nodded, rushing out the door. "Collin!"

"What?" I snapped.

"He has to be alive when I get there." I gave a sharp nod and rushed out the doors. I allowed my clothes to rip while I phased. There would be some others hidden somewhere in the forest. I sprinted through the forest, focusing on only her until I saw men grumbling as they walked out of some house. "Where is she?" I demanded.

"He ain't seeing no one. The girl needs some straightening out," one of the fat men said to me.

"Where is she?" I snapped again. I gripped his collar and drew him up to my chest. He pointed fearfully toward the house. I pounded up the stairs and kicked the door, not surprised when the entire portal came free from the walls. "Where is she?" I demanded for a third time. "Spencer?" The last few men that were still in the house sprinted outside, realizing that this wasn't going to end well.

To my dismay, she was buried underneath the door that I'd kicked in. She shoved the door aside, dust pillowing around her. Naturally, _my_ imprint would be the one to get hit with the door. I lunged towards her, brought up short by a short man with a gun. Against Spencer's head. "I wouldn't do that," he said, his dark hair slicked down against his head. He looked like sleazy person. "I'd hate to kill my money. I'd have to find another. Ain't an easy thing to do."

"Spencer are you okay?" I wished that I could completely ignore the man in front of me, that i could take her from this place. She nodded, a tear glistening over the bruise on her cheek. "You listen to me, Spence. It's going to be okay. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." She didn't respond to that.

"That's some big talk for a man who don't got a weapon." I growled fiercely at the man. I had more weapons than he knew. The idea of letting him long enough to see justice was quickly flying out the window. I wanted him dead. Now. "If you try anything, I may just have to kill you." Fear stabbed Spencer's eyes. "Let's work on those manners. Spencer, take your shirt off."

"Don't do it, Spence!" She was still crying, a steady tickle of tears falling over her cheeks. "He can't do anything to me. It's going to be okay." Her uncle twisted the gun around. The shot rang out in the silence.

I'd been through shit in my life, but I'd never been shot. I felt the bullet burrow in my calf. I could feel the fibers of my body trying to mend, but they couldn't around the burning scrap of metal. "Collin!"

"Let's try again. Spencer, take your shirt off."

"Yes sir," I heard. "Please don't hurt him. I'll do whatever you want," she breathed. The shot rang out again. I flinched and opened my eyes. Spencer was fine, scarred and battered, but alive. I could see every inch of her scars now. All the time that she'd spent hiding herself from me. She was stunning, if a little skinnier than I would like to see.

"I don't remember asking you to speak," her uncle snarled. "Your pants next."

"Yes, sir," she whispered again. She unbuttoned and pulled them down her legs, surprising me with the number of scars that were there as well. I flinched again at the loud sound, bracing myself for the impact.

"Why?" Spencer screamed. The gun's muzzle swiveled back to her.

"You know how to do it right. You ain't listening to good." He shook his head, but I could barely see anymore. The pain coursing through my body was nothing compared to seeing her in danger. "Here's the big test. You tell your little boyfriend here that you don't with him. You tell him to leave and walk him out." I wasn't leaving her with this monster. "He comes back, you die."

"Collin, you need to leave," she whispered. Her voice was cracking and scraggily. "I don't want to see you anymore."

"I'm not leaving you here, Spencer."

"You have to go. Come on." With shaking fingers, she gripped my arm and tried to help me.

"I'm not leaving you."

"I'm so sorry for the things that I said. I hope that you'll forgive me."

"I was never mad at you," I whispered. "Come with me."

She shook her head. "He'll kill you, Collin. I can't let him do that. I love you." Couldn't she see that I loved her too? Couldn't she understand what it felt like to have to leave her. "You need to go, though. He'll come after the others if you don't listen to him." What others? I couldn't leave her here. She would die. "I love you."

The man appeared behind us. I felt weary and light headed. I was breathing strangely, bleeding from places I'd never bled from before. "You get on out of here, boy. We don't need you here, do we Spencer?" She shook her head, but I couldn't tell if she was agreeing with her uncle or asking me not to leave.

"I'm coming back for you," I told her. I left then, trying to get to the forest. "Nate!" I shouted, jogging into the street when I saw the cruiser coming. "Nate, we have to go get her."

"What the fuck happened to you?" he asked.

"Forget about me. We need to get to Spencer." We were only a block away from the shack when the thunder rumbled. Except that it wasn't thunder. Fire exploded in the distance, a female shriek. "That's Spencer!" I grunted. The car had barely come to a stop before Nate and I both left the vehicle.

"Police. Stop!" Nate shouted, lifting his gun from its holster. Tom was bolting from the backside of the house. "Stop!" he repeated. The shot fire towards us. "I got him. Go get Spencer." He took off at a dead run towards the back. I began running towards the house, looking at the flames licking up the wood.

"Spencer!" I shouted. "Spencer, can you hear me?" Her heart was beating spastically, so she was alive, but she wasn't responding. I ran towards the kitchen, trying to follow her smell over the dank stench of smoke. Still clad in only her underthings, Spencer was lying on the grimy tile floor. Her arm was pillowed on her bicep. "Spencer? Spencer? Can you hear me?" Her head was flopped to the side. There was blood on the back of her head, telling me that she'd hit the counter when the blast had happened.

I didn't have time to worry about her for the moment. I could save her life in a burning, smoke-filled room. "Let's get out of here," I whispered to her. Three shots rang out again. I jogged outside, ignoring my own pain and blood. Nate was standing in front of a fallen tree. Not a fallen tree.

Spencer's uncle.


	36. Chapter XXXV

**Author's Note: Here we go, guys. By the way, if you're interested I do have a new story called ****_Lies_****. Happy Reading!**

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**Chapter XXX: ****_Collin's Point of View_**

"I thought you were going to arrest him!" I shouted at Nate. If anyone was going to get to kill the bastard, it was going to be me. But no. He was lying on the ground in front of my Pack sister's imprint. "What the hell?" Nate stiffly replaced his gun to his holster and looked down at his arm. "Well shit. I'm never going to hear the end of this from Leah," I snapped when I realized that it was his blood I was smelling.

"What did you want me to do? I followed protocol to a T and he still shot me. It's called self defense," he grunted, looking at the torn fabric of his uniform. "Don't worry," he added sarcastically. "I'm fine. Just a graze." I rolled my eyes, each move I made tearing my tissue a little more. "I see you don't have just a graze. Let's take a look." He reached for Spencer, but I growled and pulled her away. The sharp twist of my body sent another rocket of pain through me. "Will you stop it? I'm not going to hurt her."

He tried again to take her, but I couldn't let him hold her. "I'm taking you to Sue's," he announced. I shook my head.

"Home. Sue can come to my place," I gasped. "I need to get her home." Nate rolled his eyes and sighed heavily, before nodding. He reached for Spencer a third time, probably thinking to ease my burden. "I'm not going to give her to you, so give it up," I snapped. Nate held his hands up in a sign of surrender. Smart man. Better to back away than to go against a wolf with an injured imprint.

Spencer's head was flopped back, like her body couldn't hold her up at all. Her arms flopped by her sides. I was fighting the pain to pick her up. I couldn't move my arms enough to shift her into my arms. Nate took her thin wrist into his hand, ignoring my growl again. He put her hand over her stomach, keeping her arm from flopping around with each lurching step that I took. "Leah will be here with the truck any minute. I can't leave the scene just yet," he explained. I nodded, wanting just to sit down. "I'll give Sue a call."

By the time that we got home, Spencer and I were both bloody messes. Although it was more here than me, sitting with her bundled against my chest meant that my wounds were oozing all over her. Not that she had anything to say about it. Her breath came in rattling gasps, like a tin can was stuck in her lungs with eau breath she took. The smoke had turned to soot and was staining her face, with the exception of the tear tracks that showed her clean, honey skin. "Give her to me," Leah demanded. I shook my head tiredly.

"Collin, look at me," she snapped in a voice so motherly that I couldn't help but listen. "You're body can't heal until we get those bullets out of you. If you don't give her to me, you will die. And then who will take care of her?" I let a fearful shudder course through me. Leah cupped the back of Spencer's head and lifted it to look me. "You cannot care for her if you're dead. Let me take her so that Sue can stitch you up. I'll sit right here with her. You'll see her the entire time, okay?"

My brain screamed, shouted, battered against my head, that I should keep my hold on her. My body was recognizing the truth of what Leah was saying. Of their own accord, my arms began to loosen enough to where Leah could take my imprint from me. "Help him from the car!" Leah shouted. Brady appeared from no where, letting my rest most of my weight against him until I was in the house, staining our sofa with blood. "Maybe that will entice you two to finally buy a new couch," Leah muttered from her chair, Spencer sitting sidesaddle in her lap.

I tried my best not to cry out when Sue began digging around in my stomach and leg for the tiny metal rounds. The one in my stomach hadn't hit anything major, as far as the older woman could tell. She stitched it up, guessing that she could be back in the morning to take them out. My leg, however, had allowed the pullet to pass clean through. The alcohol stung, but I could feel the tendons and fibers stringing themselves together almost instantly. "Just do us all a favor and take it easy," Sue commanded. I nodded, lying again.

The second that everyone was gone and I had Spencer in my arms again, I hobbled up the stairs. "Spencer, I need you to wake up," I told her. I moved to our bedroom, but quickly realized that covered in soot and blood, we could hardly climb into bed. "I'm not going to put you in bed yet, Spence. You're covered in filth. I need you to wake up." Her skin was grimy, dark from the fire's smoke. "We'll get you in the shower," I announced. I could imagine her face flaming with embarrassment and her stuttered words of denial.

"You're all but naked anyways. But if you don't want me to do it, you've got to say something now," I demanded of her. She didn't even move, not even a finger twitch. I waited a full minute more, but she didn't respond. I cautiously bore my precious burden to the bathroom, settling on the closed toilet to begin undressing her. Even when I brushed over bruises, she didn't flinch or move. She didn't show any signs of realizing what I was doing to her. I started the water, cradling and rocking her against my chest while I waited for the tub to fill.

I stood and brought her down against my chest, letting her head flop against my shoulder. "I'll admit, whenever I've dreamed about this, you were awake," I told her. I looked down, wanting to see her blush steel over her cheeks. Nothing. I took the soft cloth in my hand and soaped it up, gently brushing it over her legs. I was surprised at the sheer number of scars that marred her legs. They weren't all raised. Most of those on her calves and around her knees were flat, but shiny. The high up that we got, the worse they became.

Except for the raised, nasty cut on the height of her knee. I laughed, and brushed my fingertip over it. "I remember this one," I told her. "You raced me through the forest and tripped on the tree stump. You'd have been fine if that beer bottle wasn't there." I wrung the murky water from the cloth and began washing her face then, softly stroking over her bruised cheekbones. "He's dead now, Spencer. He's gone and he'll never be able to hurt you again," I whispered. She didn't move.

Her heartbeat was so weak, I could barely hear it pounding in my ears. I needed to hear her. I needed her to be okay. "Damn it, Spencer!" I shouted, getting angry now. "I haven't been the best friend to you. I haven't been a good boyfriend. I haven't been a good wolf. But I've brought you back to life before and I'll do it again. I'll do it every damn day if that's what it takes. I can't lose you." She didn't give any sign of life. She wasn't pretending to sleep like she had in the early days. I was really going to lose her.

"You want to know why I didn't tell Hannah about you? Because Hannah didn't matter. The guys didn't matter. The only person who truly mattered was you. I should have found you the second that I turned eighteen. You have no idea how many times I thought about it. Hell, I moved out of my dad's and got all packed up and ready to go." I shook my head, feeling her hair brush against my jaw. "All I've ever wanted from you was what was best. I didn't come after you because I was hoping that you'd found a better life there. I wanted you to be sitting in a loving home with a mother and father, maybe a little sister. I even wanted you to have a boyfriend. I wanted the best for you.

"But if I had known that he was killing you; if I'd known that your life wasn't what I'd wanted, I would have come after you. The truth is that I should've never let you go. That's the real reason that I didn't tell anyone. They didn't matter because none of them could stop the guilt. I shouldn't have let you go and I felt _terrible_ that I had. If I didn't mention your name, if I didn't answer questions about you, I could pretend that I didn't feel like shit for letting you go," I breathed into her hair. "I know better now, Spence. I love you. I'm never going to let you go again, I swear. Please come back to me."

Her heartbeat seemed to be beating a little harder in her chest, though I chalked that up to wishful thinking. There was no way that my little speech could actually make her stronger. She was unconscious for goodness sake. But then she shifted a little in the water, turning herself more against me. "Spencer, can you hear me?" I demanded. She moved again. "Spence?"

"Of course I can hear you," she muttered, the words barely above a breath. "Stop screaming."


	37. Chapter XXXVI

**Author's Note: Here's the next chapter for you guys. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXXVI**

I felt as if I'd been hit by a bus. Or swallowed a stick of dynamite. Maybe both. It was hard to breathe. I couldn't open my eyes, no matter how hard I tried. I could only inhale and exhale. And listen. I could listen to ever sweet word that seemed to coming from Heaven above me. "You want to know why I didn't tell Hannah about you? Because Hannah didn't matter." I wanted to laugh. It was just as Sue had told me. "The guys didn't matter. The only person who truly mattered was you. I should have found you the second that I turned eighteen." I was floating, comfortably warm in the middle of nowhere. "You have no idea how many times I thought about it. Hell, I moved out of my dad's and got all packed up and ready to go."

Why was it that the answers to all my questions came when he thought I wouldn't be able to hear him? Wolves, imprints, this… He always waited until I could say nothing to tell me. "All I've ever wanted for you was what was best. I didn't come after you because I was hoping that you'd found a better life there. I wanted you to be sitting in a loving home with a mother and father, maybe a little sister. I even wanted you to have a boyfriend." He gave a rye chuckle at that. "I wanted only the best for you."

I could feel myself practically humming. Even between us, Collin kept so many walls erected. He was afraid of letting me see just how much me felt. He'd always been afraid that I would see that. "But if I had known that he was killing you," his voice broke. I could feel something around begin to shudder and tremble. "If I'd known that your life wasn't what I'd wanted, I would have come after you. The truth is that I should've never let you go. That's the real reason that I didn't tell anyone." I longed to tell him that it was okay; that I understood. But he only pressed forward. "They didn't matter because none of them could stop the guilt. I shouldn't have let you go and I felt _terrible_ that i had. If I didn't mention your name, if I didn't answer questions about you, I could pretend that I didn't feel like shit for letting you go."

Pretending. It was what the two of us were good at. "I know better now, Spence. I love you. I'm never going to let you go again, I swear. But please come back to me." I needed him to know that it was okay. He had to understand that I didn't blame him for the things that had happened. He had no reason to feel guilty. He was only a boy. There was no way that he could've protected me back then. We were little more than children. "Spencer, can you hear me?" Of course I could hear him. I was sore and tired and possibly asthmatic, but I wasn't deaf. "Spence!" he shouted.

I tried to shrug him away. "Of course I can hear you. Stop screaming," I demanded of him. Laughter came bubbling up from the middle of no where, sloshing around me. I _was_ floating. I was happy, content in the water with Collin's arms wrapped tight around me. I could feel every inch of him against me. His arms thighs, so different in shape and look than my own, were on either side of me.

And I could see parts of him that I had never seen before. Not parts that would constitute immorality or anything of the like, but the coarse hair of his upper thighs. The deep 'v' of the muscles on his lower stomach. He was naked. That was the only explanation. He was _naked_ in water with me. I could feel my heartbeat quickening. I looked down at myself to find my scarred legs bare to the world as well. "Oh God, Spencer," he breathed. His thumbs brushed continual arcs against my sternum. I was naked in a pool of water with Collin.

I rocketed upright, ignoring the pain in me and drew the towel from the bar. It soaked water easily while Collin tried to resettle me against him. "Calm down, Spencer; calm down," he pleaded. His hands continued to stroke against my skin. "It's okay, sweetheart. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. No one will ever hurt you again. No one will ever do anything to you that you don't want. Me included," he vowed. "You were so dirty after the fire." What fire? "I knew that you would want to go to bed, but I couldn't put you in there covered in soot."

"What fire?" I tried. The words didn't seem to make a sound, but Collin must have heard them. Or heard something.

"You don't remember your uncle, Spencer? He came and took you. He's had you for nine days. I came to get you. He shot me." I remembered that. I remembered my invincible best friend crying out in pain and anguish as that metal bullet bore straight through his flesh. I remembered thinking that I would do anything and everything to stop his pain. I would have let my uncle have his way with me on that filthy carpet if it would have protected Collin.

"I remember," I whispered. I could see his anguished face before me when I told him that I loved him; told him that he had to leave me in that house. "I was arguing with Uncle Tom. He wanted to find a new girl to sell out to those men because I was too ugly."

"Ugly?"

"My scars." There was no sense in trying to hide them now. If he'd brought me to the bath to get me clean, he'd undoubtedly seen them all. "Men don't want to pay for time with a girl who looks like she's been filleted alive."

"You didn't ask for it, Spencer. I know that you didn't. He did this to you." Each words was spoken with an edge, a fierceness that proved just how much of a warrior this boy was. And that he wasn't a boy anymore. He was a man. I loved him so much more than I could possibly have imagined. He was incredible. The love that I'd had for him when I was a little girl was nothing compared to how I felt now. There was even _desire_ now. Not just the desire to have him around, but the burning sensation in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to hold him close, to wrap my arms around him and kiss him until there was nothing left between us. Until he was a part of me and I was a part of him.

"We shouldn't be like this," I said, feeling my cheeks heat. "Naked, I mean. I need to get out of this bathtub." I was frantic, knowing that I wouldn't be able to control myself if I didn't put some distance between us. I grappled with the tub, stopping short when I heard a hissing sound behind me. Collin's face was scrunched up in pain, the hand that had been on my arm, falling to his stomach. "I'm so sorry," I breathed, my nudity forgotten as a pink ribbon appeared in the water. "Oh, God, Collin," I whispered. I tried to back out of the tub. His hot hand closed around my ankle and the other grabbed hold of my wrist. "I'm sorry. I forgot. I'm so sorry," I repeated. He'd gone through all this pain to save me and all I'd done was hurt him more.

"Spencer," he whispered. "Spencer, Spencer, listen to me." He pulled on my wrist until I was seated on his lap, straddling him. "I'm okay, sweetheart. It'll be healed up by tomorrow morning. I'm okay."

"I shouldn't have hurt you. I'm sorry. You've only ever been kind to me. I should've been more careful. I'm sorry," I kept repeating, everything in me flinching.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Spencer." I nodded. I knew that. No matter what my instincts were telling me, I knew that Collin would never, ever hurt me. "It was an accident. Those things happen." His hands were rubbing up and down my arms, like he was trying to warm me up. "I swear to you, Spencer, I'm not going to try anything." I heard his unspoken _tonight_. He would eventually try something. How would I ever handle that? I could hear my heart beating a shattering rhythm against my ribs. "We'll do everything, anything, _nothing_ at your pace," he promised. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss against my hair. "Why did you go with him, Spencer?"

"Because he would have hurt the others," I managed. "You and I know what it's like to grow up under someone else's thumb. I couldn't let it happen. I couldn't let him try to take Claire or Lacey or Lizzie or —"

"You didn't want to let anyone else hurt," he finished. I nodded. "We'll talk more about your uncle tomorrow, after you've rested some." He kissed my forehead.

"Will you kiss me, Collin?" I managed. His eyes went wide, like it was the last thing that he could expect. I just wanted things to be back to normal. I didn't want to have to pretend for once. I didn't want to have to say that I was okay when I wasn't. "Please?"

And he did. The moment wasn't perfect. We were naked in a bathtub. My hair still smelled like smoke. He was bleeding and hurt. But it was desperate and wonderful and just the two of us. It was just the two of us, holding each other close and allowing ourselves to feel just each other for a brief moment. Allowing ourselves _not_ to pretend.


	38. Chapter XXXVII

**Author's Note: Okay, we've got a good deal of fluffiness to get through for the next little while, so buckle up. And as always, if you're up for a mature chapter, let me know. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXXVII**

After Collin helped me out of the bath, he proceeded to embarrass the life out of me by toweling me off. While he did, he told me about my uncle, about everything that had happened with him. He'd shot Nathan, who had just been there to try and protect me. Nate had had no choice but to retaliate, but it'd resulted in my uncle's death. I knew an endless sense of relief, realizing that there was no way that man could ever come to get me again. He could never get Collin or my family.

"Did you mean the things that you said?" I asked him. He cocked his head to the side and looked at me. "About Hannah and me? About how you felt guilty?" He nodded, his face sad. "You shouldn't feel guilty, Collin." He bristled. "No, listen to me. You shouldn't feel guilty. You had no way of knowing what was happening to me." We were lying on the bed on our sides, facing each other. I brushed a little strand of hair away from his face. "I know that you would have saved me if you'd known." That was why I'd dreamt of him.

Clothed in only my underwear and one of his tank tops, he brushed his fingers of one of the smooth scars on my shoulder. "How did you get this one?" he asked then.

"I'd just gotten to Oklahoma. Uncle Tom was trying to prove that he owned me. It's the second one that he gave me," I whispered. His eyes darkened and clouded over. Then, before I could guess what he was doing, he pressed his lips against the skin, as if he could erase the pain. He found the dip in my collarbone, his eyes silently asking the same question. "One of the men who… who had me," I said. He did the same thing. For each and every scar that crossed my upper body where he could reach, he traced it first with his fingers and then her mouth. He acted like I was a broken china doll, like each kiss he bestowed could glue me back together. "I wish that I had been to talk to you back then," I muttered after he'd placed a rather sensual kiss against my neck. "To write to you and know that you were okay here."

"Wait here," he said, although not before his lips touched down on mine. In only his basketball shorts, he strode over to his desk. I watched papers fly around while he dug for whatever it was he was looking for. Finally, he pulled out a bundle, tied together with ribbons. His chicken scratch handwriting glared at me from where I was sitting on the bed. I pushed myself upright and looked at him while he crossed the room again. He jumped onto the bed and squirmed his way back to where I was sitting. "I wanted to talk to you. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't want to. I wrote to you every day." He dropped the envelopes into my lap. "But I wanted you to have this great life. I wanted everything to be good for you, so I never sent them." I pulled the ribbon and let them cascade all over my legs. "You never wrote to me, either. So I assumed that you were doing good; that you didn't want to hear from me. I never sent them," he repeated.

The envelopes weren't addressed. At least, not to me. Collin's name and address were scrawled in his corner. My name was printed as neatly as his handwriting allowed in the center of the envelope. But it wasn't sealed, my address wasn't on there. He'd really never intended on putting them in the mail. "I wasn't allowed to do anything. I wasn't allowed to have anything. No cell phone, no computers. When I first moved in, I'd asked him if I could write to you. He told me no. It was the first time that he'd shown how much power he would have over me. He said that it was best if I forgot my life back in La Push."

I wanted to cry, remembering those times that I'd tried. Watching the words burn up in the flames, my every hope fading with them. I pulled the first piece of paper from its holder. I was shocked to find the binder paper, margin to margin, front to back, for three pages. It was dated a week after I'd been taken from La Push. He told me how much he missed me, how desperately he wished that I could come back, how he would come to find me when he was old enough.

"I wrote to you every day for five years," he said. "Up until the day that you came back. So you might not want to try and read them all," he said, though I could feel his embarrassment. "And they're not all that long. There were just things that I couldn't tell other people. And if it hadn't been for you; for these letters, I don't think that I would have survived." I smiled up at him. "I, uh, I — I didn't want you to think that I didn't think about it. That I didn't think about you. I did. Every day until the day that you showed up on the porch."

He leaned over and began snatching the letters from my lap, his fingers skimming the skin of my thighs as he moved. "Stop," I begged, laughing. I don't think he remembered quite how ticklish I was. Every nerve ending in my body was on fire. He stopped immediately, his hands pulling away from my skin.

"I wasn't trying to hurt you," he said immediately. "Or bring up bad memories. I'm sorry." I laughed at that and snuggled into him.

"It wasn't bad things, Collin. I'm ticklish," I said. The letters were crushed somewhere between us, forgotten for the moment. "I didn't want you to take them; the letters. I want to read them all, every single one. And even if you're not there to see it, I wanted to keep them." He sighed resignedly. "Don't worry; I won't tell anyone that you're secretly a sensitive guy." He growled at that. "I've kept every other one of your secrets," I pointed out. "I know that you're worried about the things that I've gone through, Collin. But whether you believe it or not, I've never had a flashback about bad things. At least, not when I'm with you. And I am capable of telling you when to stop."

"I know you are." He sighed heavily. "I also know that I've done nothing to protect you and I will be damned if I hurt you ever again. I will do anything in my power to stop that from happening."

"As overprotective as ever, I see," I muttered.

"You've never told me what it was like, Spence. I mean, what it was really like. You avoid it, tell me that you don't want to talk about it. But I want to know. I want to be here for you and help you through all of it," he pleaded with me.

The unguarded look that only I got to see struck me like a knife. How was I supposed to tell him no when he looked at me like that? He wanted to be a part of my life, more than he already was. I sighed and turned my face into him, letting his arms trap me like a cage. "It was terrible," I admitted frankly. "It was like reliving the same hellish nightmare every single day. It was playing on a loop in my head. And the only time that I got relief was at night, when he would finally let me sleep. When I could pretend that I was back safe with you," I pressed on. "I spent every day waiting for night to come so that I could go back to my dreams."

"Don't sugar coat it for me," he said sarcastically. I brushed my fingers over the collar of his shirt. I felt guilty for telling him, for _not_ sugar coating it. But he'd asked and I'd told him everything. There were no more secrets now. "I wish that I had been there to stop it all, Spencer."

"It's in the past," I told him. "I never need to go back there again. I don't have to worry about my mom anymore. I don't have to be afraid that my uncle is coming after me. And I have you back." I smiled up at him. He pressed me down onto my back and covered my body with his, bracing his weight on his forearms. "I don't have anything left to worry about, Collin. So from now on, it's me and you against the rest of the world."

"Just like the old days," he smiled, pressing a kiss against my lips. "And I have a surprise for you," he added when he finally pulled away.

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**Author's Note cont.: If there's anything in particular you guys would like to see, PM or review and let me know. **


	39. Chapter XXXVIII

**Author's Note: So I had been planning on posting last night... And then I fell asleep. My poor fiancé came home from his double shift at his new job, and there I was passed out on the couch with my computer on my chest. Whoops. Anyways, forgive my sleepiness and enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXXVIII**

"You have a surprise?" I asked cautiously. He nodded. I had heard the phrase a million times, but usually it didn't mean anything good. "For me," I clarified. He nodded again. I fiddled with my fingernails while he helped me sit up in bed again. I waited for him to say something; anything. He didn't even get off the bed though. "Where… Where is it?" I asked then, feeling rude but not sure what else to say. He rolled off the bed and held his hand out to me.

"You feeling up to a little walk?" he asked then. I frowned, but nodded. I slid my hand into his, feeling the way that our calluses rubbed against each other. "Come on." He helped me to my feet and tucked me in against his side. "When we were little, you used to dream about becoming a writer. You used to scribble on every single piece of paper that we could get our hands on. And you were good, Spencer. You had so many dreams and hopes and you were good." I frowned at him, confused about what he was saying. "I want you to have a place that you feel is yours."

We walked down the hall, to the very back where it dead ended. He lifted his hand and grabbed hold of a string that was looped against the wall a few inches above my head. "You used to write stories where you would make everything happy again. Apparently, it's a coping mechanism. You made your own little world," he said. I blushed, embarrassed. It was true that I had a love of writing, a love of making things better when my world was falling apart. He pulled the string, making the panel fall down.

He grabbed another string and pulled the ladder down. At least it looked like a ladder. When it came down I saw the steps had been lengthened to make them into a staircase. "Come on. Up we go," he said. He lifted me up to the first stair and rested his hand on my waist and one of my thigh. I was sore and stiff, although not as much as him. He helped me take the steps one at a time, until I found myself in staring at the attic. "Stay right there," he commanded.

He leaned me forward and popped himself into the attic. He grasped me under the arms and lifted me into the attic. When he thought I was safe up on the floor again, he led me down a narrow hallway that led to a single door. The room was larger than I would have thought. All the boxes had been pushed back behind me, back where I couldn't see them unless I was turned around. Directly in front of me stood a desk. It was gleaming in the light that was streaming through the high windows. A computer, the likes of which I had never seen before, we staring at me with a shining screen. "You've been through so much," he whispered. I took a few more steps towards the desk, looking at the luxuriously chair that was pressed into the desk.

"I want you to have a spot that's yours. We can paint up here or get some curtains," he began. "In the winter, it gets a little chilly so we'll have to keep a space heater or something up here. I haven't been up here in the summer, so we'll have to figure that out when it comes." I was spiraling, confused. I could hear him telling me the words. I could hear him explaining that this room was mine. But I couldn't put two and two together.

"Collin," I muttered, still frowning in confusion. "What is this?" I had to be blunt. I was confused. This didn't make any sense.

"It's your office," he replied. "Or your sitting room. Whatever you want to call it, really. I don't care. It's your place. Brady said that we could leave the staircase down so that you don't have to try and pull it down every day. But we can do anything that you want to this place. I have't figured out how to get a chair up here; I mean other than the obvious one that I already pulled up here. But it's yours."

He'd given me an office. He'd given me a place that I could escape to. "The door locks from the inside, so you can lock us out. I won't promise that I will honor that every time, especially if you're in danger. But if you need to get away and you lock the door," he said with a little shrug, "I'll honor it. I just need to make sure that you're not hurting or in danger. But other than that, it's all yours." He'd made this place. He'd created it for me.

Because he could give me his life. He could make sure that I was taken care without anyone else harming me. But what Collin would have to sacrifice was his need to control, his need to protect. He would give me space. That would be his gift. "You did this for _me_?" I asked, still feeling the need to clarify. He nodded, his eyes still worried. He could protect me everything and anything. He could make my life happy for the rest of my days. "You did this so that I could have a place that was my own?"

"This house is yours, Spencer. I bought it by myself. Brady just helps to pay the bills. He'll find his own place, one day. We might have to put up with an imprint and a roommate for a little while, but eventually he'll find his own home. And then you and me and hopefully a bunch of little monsters who won't have to go through our past will enjoy this house," he said. "Anywhere in this house can be yours, but this place can be your quiet escape from the insanity of our Pack." _Our_ Pack. Not just his. I was part of them, of a family. A real family that wasn't going to use me to make drug runs and money.

"I love you, Collin Littlesea," I whispered. I turned and launched all my weight onto him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me from the ground, spinning me around in dizzying circles.

"I expect you to become an award winning novelist or poet or something," he said seriously, dropping me onto the ground again. "Or to write silly little stories for kids. Whatever you want, Spencer. I want you to be happy," he begged.

"Don't you understand that I am happy?" I asked him then. "I have no worries, no fears, nothing that's going to come after me." I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked up at him. "When I was in Oklahoma, in that house, you were the reason that I survived. You were the reason that I didn't go crazy. And now that I'm here, you're the reason that I'm going to live my happily ever after. Now that I'm here, you've given me a home and a family. You've taken away my problems, my fears. My uncle is dead. He can't hurt me. He can't come and get me or anyone else ever again. _You_ did that Collin.

"So while you feel guilty about me having to leave and everything else, you should know that you're the only reason that I survived. You're the soul purpose for me living here, for me being here today," I told him. His lips twitched in a little smile. "This is great," I finally added, deciding that I had stared at his eyes for far too long without saying something. I turned around in his arms and felt him squeeze me tight. My back fell against his chest.

"You're going to have to get out," I declared, turning back to start pushing him out.

"You need your rest," he argued. I shoved against him again, until he was on the other side of the door. The lock clicked into place. "Spencer! You just woke up."

"I'll take a nap in the chair when I feel tired," I replied through the door.

"I told you I would only leave you be in here if you're health wasn't at risk," he shouted back. "Spencer, I promise that you can spend all the time you want up here tomorrow. But for tonight, will you please come out? I didn't show you this so you could lock yourself away up here." I looked back at the desk. I didn't feel tired anymore. In fact, I was full of energy. I wanted to sit down at feel the keys of a computer under my fingers again. "I will break down the door."

"You will not," I said forcefully. Well, as forcefully as I could manage.

"Please come out; I'll cook you dinner. Mac and cheese homemade; like we used to eat when we were kids," he enticed.

"We are kids." He scoffed in response. "Do we have milk?"

"Of course we have milk. Come on, Spencer. I'll even add extra cheese on top."

"You win," I begrudged.


	40. Chapter XXXIX

**Author's Note: Okay, here's the ultimate survey time, so please REVIEW. If you are interested in a more mature themed chapter, please let me know so I can decide where I would like to go next. Other than that, I hope you all enjoy! Oh, and someone asked yesterday if our little fluffy world meant this story would be over. I am pleased to announced that we have at ****_least_**** eleven more chapters, if not more. It depends on you all. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter XXXIX**

In the weeks and months that came, Collin was unspeakably tender with me. We rarely argued and if we did, it was never about anything serious. Our lives were blissful, easy. I kept waiting for the other foot to drop. I waited for Collin to decide that he'd been patient enough and take me. Many other men would have. Regardless of my fears, pains, and qualms; regardless of what I knew about him, I still anticipated that switch to happen. Every night, my heart thundered in my chest. And every night, he settled me against his side and kissed my forehead.

And nothing more.

"Hey sugar?" he called into the attic study one morning. However he and Brady had done it, the two of them had managed to squeeze a couch up there for me. It was nice. I had an area to go when Tucker, Ryanne, or Kim came to visit me. I hummed back down at him, knowing that with his wolf hearing, he would hear me. "The guys all managed to find sitters, although I think they've employed all of La Push's preteens now. We're having a bonfire tonight. Are you up to it?"

I was long since healed, but that wasn't what he was asking about. He was asking if I was prepared to have to face the insanity that was our Pack for a few hours. "It sounds like fun," I replied with a little smile. "Do we need to bring anything? I know you loved those stuff mushrooms that I made last week." If it were possible for his tongue to loll out of his mouth, I think it might have been. As it was, I was afraid that drool was going to begin dripping from the corner of his mouth.

"No, there's no need for you to do anything. Emily and Ryanne usually put everything together," he replied. "I should warn you that there's a new girl coming." A new girl? Who all was left? Sam had Emily. Jake had Ryanne. Jared had finally gotten Kim. Quil was still waiting for Claire. Leah was still beating Nate. Embry had broken through Penn's thick shell. Paul was with Charlotte. And Brady—

"Brady imprinted?" I asked. We had been waiting for it. It seemed like he never would, especially when everyone else seemed to have found there person already.

"Yeah; do you remember back when we were younger and Brady was betrothed?" I nodded. As upset as Brady had been about it, I remember being envious. I wished that my mouth would have found someone to take care of me for the rest of my life. I would make whatever promise. I would be the best wife possible. Just knowing that there had been someone that was to be responsible for me… It would have been amazing. Not that all that mattered. I had Collin, now. "Well, she came back up for a visit. He hasn't seen her in six years."

The look on his face was difficult to read; especially if you didn't know Collin well enough to read _him_. He practically had his own language. "I take it you're not that happy about this," I said. "Which would mean that Brady isn't exactly overjoyed with his imprint either." Is that how Collin felt when he'd first looked at me and realized he would be tied to me for the rest of our lives? "He's happy that he imprinted. He just… He and Roxanne didn't get along when they were kids. I think he's worried that those feeling will have carried over."

I wanted to tell him that _we_ were proof that relationships changed. He'd always thought about as a little sister, as the person that he needed to protect. Just look at how we'd changed. I was still the person that he wanted to protect, but I wasn't the little sister any longer. "I'm sure that things will work out for the two of them. I know that he thought that she was a pretentious little pain when he was a kid, but people change over the years." I hadn't changed. Collin hadn't really changed. But people could change.

The fire was blazing high when Collin and I walked down the beach to where our friends were gathered. The smell of smoke burned my nose, causing me to crinkle my nose and bury my face in the fabric of his shirt. "I will never get used to it," I muttered under my breath. He laughed at me and threaded our fingers together. "Is everyone going to be here tonight?" He nodded. "And what's for dinner?" I asked then. He leveled me with a bored look. There wasn't really a question. It was hamburgers and hotdogs like always.

"Hey, Spencer!" Kim called. She left Jared where he was standing to come and take hold of my hand. "We girls are escaping our men over here," she said. Collin's growl was more tangible than audible. I slapped my hand down on his chest and stepped away from him a little bit. I looked over at him and raised my eyebrows. I liked the girls. I needed to learn to be on my own and not with my best friend all the time. He shook his head a little, but I nodded and stepped away from him yet again.

We were sitting there playing around for a while when I heard Brady call out to Paul. All of us turned around to look at the girl that he was descending the beach with. He was holding her close, his arms wrapped around her and holding her close to his side. I noticed immediately that she had no arm. No matter how I followed the length of her shoulder, I couldn't manage to find her limb. "Spencer, Collin!" He turned the girl towards me and my boyfriend. "Roxanne, this is my best friend Collin and his girlfriend, Spencer."

"It's nice to meet you," she said, extending her left hand to me. I took it with a smile, refusing to acknowledge that she only had the one arm. "I've heard a lot about the both of you," she continued.

"I highly doubt that," Collin scoffed. "This one won't talk about anything unless you torture him." Roxanne chuckled a little, but didn't say anything. "The guys are heading out to play a little tackle. You good?" I nodded at him. He jogged away from me then, only stopping to look back at Brady. "You coming man?"

"Nah; I'm going to stay here for a little while," he replied. Brady smiled reassuringly at Roxanne and led her around to continue her introductions. It wasn't very long before the girl had been introduced to everyone and was cowering in fear into her wolf's side. It was funny to remember what the felt like and then look at the family that now surrounded me. I was one of them, now. I was a member of this Pack. "Whatever you don't eat, I'll finish," I heard Brady tell her. "Here's your food."

"So, you're the new girl," Penn said. She dropped her left hand out in front of the girl. "I"m Penn. We've been getting a lot of fresh meat here. I think it's because the boys are finally growing up."

"You're here with…?" I could understand the confusion. In the first days, it was nearly impossible to keep everyone in line.

"Embry Call; my husband." Penn jabbed a thumb in the direction of the game, but they were all so piled together that it was hard to differentiate the men. "He's a crazy little kid most of the time, but usually a good guy."

"Oh my God!" Leah exclaimed. "Don't get her started about her husband. Please, dear God. She'll go on and on about him for days." We all loved to talk about our boys. They were ours. "And _please_ don't say the name Lizzie. It'll be a long night."

"Oh, shut up and leave me alone," Penn retorted. I was surprised that she had blushed beet red. I would have. "It's our job to scare the new ones. I might as well tell her now that she's going to be hopeless devoted to a man for the rest of her life." Except, I wanted to point out, that I'd been hopelessly devoted to the same guy since I'd met him when I was seven.

"You are not _hopelessly_ devoted," Tucker retorted. She winked at me in a familiar way. "There is always hope when we're with the guys." They were the reasons that we lived as well as we did.

"Lo and behold! The power of an imprint," Leah said, gesturing over Tucker. Tucker waved her off and extended her middle finger at her.

"Of a what?" the new girl asked.

"An imprint," I said, frowning a little. It was one of the first things that Collin had told me about. "You know, like the wolves' soulmate."

"The boys always get it backwards," Ryanne shouted. "They think they should tell us one thing at a time and don't understand how much it sucks to get overwhelmed, calm down, and then have the damn cycle repeat?"

"Excuse me," Roxanne said.


End file.
